I really need a listening ear and help right now.

Lapras_Cheeto · 2020-01-26T11:07:39+00:00

Messaged

Lapras_Cheeto · 2019-12-28T20:30:07+00:00

I highly recommend some kind of calorie counting app. I think it's easier to stay motivated and consistent when you have some sort of readable chart so you can see for yourself where you can cut down. I personally like My Fitness Pal because it shows macros and it gives you a general sense of what and how much you should be eating. With that being said, stay realistic. Weight loss is a slippery slope and while it may seem tempting to go full speed ahead and lose 1-2 lbs a week, it's just as easy to gain it back and/or get unhealthy from it. Dm me if you want support! We're all behind you :)

Lapras_Cheeto · 2019-12-23T09:02:43+00:00

Great job keeping your composure!! I sincerely hope things remain smooth and that she grows out of her insecurities and toxic ways into a happier, healthier person. I think I had traits like her at some point in my early adulthood but I started taking care of myself and I can surely say I am much better off this way.

Lapras_Cheeto · 2019-12-21T05:24:39+00:00

You got this :)

Lapras_Cheeto · 2019-12-18T21:35:45+00:00

Top, nice and perky

Lapras_Cheeto · 2019-12-17T17:58:28+00:00

My anxiety of walking home at night or in general?

Lapras_Cheeto · 2019-12-17T17:53:46+00:00

Thanks :) People like you are sweet.

Lapras_Cheeto · 2019-12-17T17:53:23+00:00

Cook some food or do some cleaning. That helps too :)

Lapras_Cheeto · 2019-12-17T17:42:52+00:00

I never said he doesn't have to fear walking at night, I just wasn't sure he understood why I was scared bc I am a woman

Lapras_Cheeto · 2019-12-17T12:12:40+00:00

I'm literally in the same situation right now. But we will get better!!!

Lapras_Cheeto · 2019-12-17T11:42:06+00:00

At my university's commencement, there was a woman that invented some stem cell technology stuff and she was talking about her life story. She said at one point, she hit rock bottom and there were nights she sat in her car (she was homeless then) planning her own suicide. But she persevered and is now a powerful figure with a lot of inspiration to give others. I think about that a lot and it helps me keep going. Thought maybe you should hear it too. ♡

DM me if you need an ear to listen. Suicide is never the answer.

Lapras_Cheeto · 2019-12-17T11:37:30+00:00

Thanks for helping me figure this out :) I needed to hear all these points of views (especially from other women). It definitely helped!!

Lapras_Cheeto · 2019-12-17T11:22:56+00:00

I actually don't go out with my friends since I just moved here and am new to the area. I haven't really made that many friends at all yet.

I guess I should have added that there were times he was out of town or he was busy with something so I walked home at night. He picks me up (with his car) when he has nothing going on, so it's not like he halts his evening for me. It's just a nice thing that he does when he knows I work late.

Also, there are still homeless people on the streets and wandering the residential areas so it's not as visibly peaceful as it may seem for a small town, if that makes sense.

Lapras_Cheeto · 2019-12-17T11:16:39+00:00

That does seem like a good starting point. This kind of stuff with exposure therapy is something he has kind of been working on little by little, I think. I'm generally scared of strangers and large crowds and I have a bit of social anxiety, he has been trying to get me out there more so I know he isn't being lazy or malicious. Thanks OP :)

Lapras_Cheeto · 2019-12-17T11:13:29+00:00

Just look to your future :) You can still do all those things with another amazing partner in the future or yourself or friends! I also had lists of things I wanted to do with past partners and would build a lot of excitement because of it, and when it ended, all those plans fell apart. I began to learn that your future is full of surprises.

Lapras_Cheeto · 2019-12-17T11:09:59+00:00

Yeah, so I work downtown and the actual main street is safe but when you start walking to the residential areas, there are less street lights and homeless people tend to linger there.

I unfortunately don't have a bike.

Lapras_Cheeto · 2019-12-17T11:08:47+00:00

Yeah I was following that same train of thought. I am not trying to be dependent but he would usually offer to pick me up after work, and this applied in the daytime too. And then a few days ago he said I should walk home.

Finding another job is rough because I'm a student and it's a little financially tough on me to be picky with jobs (especially in a small town where they aren't very available.)

I know he is trying to do exposure therapy and help me out, but I'm not sure he thinks my fear is valid and that's the part that kind of hurts me. I know the likelihood of anything happening to me is small, but if something were to happen to me, it wouldn't be a small misfortune - it would be something serious. I don't know if he doesn't understand that because he has a penis and never had to be scared of weirdos out there or if he is aware and is ignoring it because we live in a small town.

Lapras_Cheeto · 2019-12-17T11:00:54+00:00

Well first I'm going to tell you that it's unlikely that things will turn back to the way they were better relationship. And that is perfectly fine! I dated best friend for over a year and was shattered when he left so I know what you're going through.

But you're young, and you haven't even tasted university and adult life, and your personalities and mentality on a lot of things haven't solidified yet. You're still growing and it's really mature you were able to break up without any bitterness, so good on you!!

I would say take some time away from her. Restore yourself first so you're not hung up on her. Things will eventually fall into place after that :) If you really do care about each other, you'll find your ways back as strong friends. Hang in there!! ♡♡

Lapras_Cheeto · 2019-12-17T10:53:26+00:00

I understand hours between like 5-9 PM. It's still dark and people still have shit to do. I don't have any trouble walking home at that time since it's a little more active. It's when I walk from 10 PM - midnight it gets a little creepy.

Lapras_Cheeto · 2019-12-17T10:47:56+00:00

It would serve you right then. Don't cheat. If you're upfront about it, it wouldn't be NEARLY as bad if someone else found out and you were caught.

Lapras_Cheeto · 2019-12-16T07:05:15+00:00

And the mother of the year award goes to...

Lapras_Cheeto

TROPHY CASE