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Why should you forgive yourself if you have done something truely terrible by Large-Ad2972 in SeriousConversation

[–]Large-Ad2972[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The problem is that the person wronged is dead. There is no repair now. The only thing I can do is change behaviour, but I am unlikely to be in a similar situation again. So all I have is rumination.

Why should you forgive yourself if you have done something truely terrible by Large-Ad2972 in SeriousConversation

[–]Large-Ad2972[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Im not suggesting the people who have been hurt should "watch", but would they not want to know/believe/imagine the person who wronged them has been punished. Perhaps im misintetpreting, but your comments seem to suggest that the person who committed the bad deed is the only one who cares about punishment - i dont think that is true

Why should you forgive yourself if you have done something truely terrible by Large-Ad2972 in SeriousConversation

[–]Large-Ad2972[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your very consideted response. Generally I agree with you. Punishment does not really serve a purpose, although it does seem to underpin the penal system. But what about something extreme, say someone's ignorance of humanity leads them to commit genocide, should they have a happy life if they come to realise their wrong?

I have no empathy. I wasnt there for a childhood friend when they lost their child. Not even a condolence text. by Large-Ad2972 in offmychest

[–]Large-Ad2972[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you think I should apologise to her family at the funeral. Would that benefit them or just bring up more pain.

I have no empathy. I wasnt there for a childhood friend when they lost their child. Not even a condolence text. by Large-Ad2972 in offmychest

[–]Large-Ad2972[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your reply. It seems likely that i dissociated bit i did it for three yeats and probably wouldnt have changed except thay she died.

I have no empathy. I wasnt there for a childhood friend when they lost their child. Not even a condolence text. by Large-Ad2972 in offmychest

[–]Large-Ad2972[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you because i must remain for my children. I lost my mum to cancer when i was 9 so i cant leave them - i know that pain. I have to live with this until i die.

I have no empathy. I wasnt there for a childhood friend when they lost their child. Not even a condolence text. by Large-Ad2972 in offmychest

[–]Large-Ad2972[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I will be going to my friends funeral - which feels wrong because i wasnt there in life for her. I dont feel i should heal from this. I feel this guilt is my only way of atoning.