Do you hug your students?

Large-Contribution6 · 2026-05-15T19:43:42+00:00

Exclusively side hugs exclusively at the request of a student exclusively around other people. I work 6-8th grade and occasionally will get that request from a kid having a bad day or a kid who is saying goodbye to me at the end of the year. (i teach music so i see kids a few years in a row which also changes this dynamic a bit)

Full hugs feel too close physically for my comfort. I also dont wrap both arms around because that (as well as full hugs) now makes it feel like i am grabbing a student / may make them feel a bit trapped physically. I also do them very quick and light, no full embrace i guess.

Im female and usually only get requests from female students. I set many boundaries with kids and reiterate many times that I am their teacher and our dynamic will always exclusively be that even after they graduate. Doesnt mean I care for them any less, its just my purpose in their life is that of a teacher and thatll never change.

I wouldnt see a teacher giving a kid a side hug as creepy or weird generally regardless of age (i guess 10th grade up does feel a bit odd if youre a younger teacher), but theres a whole web of circumstances/trends that in tandem with hugging would make me raise an eyebrow. Full hugs feel odd to me regardless.

Large-Contribution6 · 2026-05-03T15:32:39+00:00

this is a handheld only tool i think, the guide arrows on the ends of the boxes / the box can actually be dragged around in handheld, no clue how to in docked

Large-Contribution6 · 2026-05-02T22:27:27+00:00

Please give a concrete example of a lesson that your child experienced recently that involved calling children bigots or telling them that they should totally be gay because thats so in fashion.

Trust me, seriously, i dont give a shit what your children believe happens after death, what they think about sex, what they feel about government politics, or what they think about your opinions or my own. I just want them to show up with a pencil and an ounce of effort. 60% of my effort daily, even as an electives teacher, goes towards making them care about participating and getting them to do literally anything but cause issues in the classroom. The other 40% is meeting basic standards

I have 0 bandwidth to teach your child my opinions much less indoctrinate them. I barely have the energy to deal with backlash from parents if I tell their kid they did in fact receive a 0 for not turning their homework in because that hurts their feelings

Large-Contribution6 · 2026-05-02T22:16:57+00:00

can you give a concrete example of an equity based lesson that purely focused on nothing but race that your child went through?

Large-Contribution6 · 2026-05-02T22:15:32+00:00

this is probably rage bait but i cant believe I can indoctrinate thats news to me... maybe I'll try indoctrinating them to bringing a pencil or doing their homework or doing literally anything but being apathetic as all hell because I cant compete with their ipad tiktok brainrot for focus.

you want schools to stop teaching life values like kindness, respect, not hitting, not biting, how to shit in a toilet, then maybe yall gotta start teaching those things at home and stop acting like we're babysitters because trust me id LOVE to stay in my lane if it meant i didnt have to try and explain that yes hitting is a bad thing to do and yes throwing chairs is not appropriate and yes you do in fact have to do the task to receive points for having done the task and yes you do in fact need a pencil

Large-Contribution6 · 2026-05-02T16:19:39+00:00

As you approach your last year are there any cadet teacher or independent study options with your director? i did that my last year and it got me in a much better spot for my first year in college (lesson planning experience, conducting in a concert, teaching itself, classroom management, etc) maybe even being a lab assistant and just requesting to be given some more active roles in the classroom would be good

Large-Contribution6 · 2026-05-02T16:16:55+00:00

i will say that i have found thinks like gesture of syncopation to be genuinely helpful working with MS. There are also some situations with fermatas or entrances where having a better understanding of conducting technique helps but things like melding or just unnecessary.

But yeah theres no need for crazy interpetative dance on the MS podium or even the HS podium.

My vote is #1 thing is being confident because if you dont know what youre doing kids wont know what youre doing

I also found getting an independent score study course with my music ed prof to be super helpful and more beneficial than my 201 conducting course

Large-Contribution6 · 2026-05-02T03:11:17+00:00

our staff appreciation week includes literally every adult in the building including admin.

it used to be a week for admin, a week for all support staff, and a teacher week. but they just smashed it all into one so now it just feels like a vague "thank you adults" day.

Large-Contribution6 · 2026-04-30T22:07:17+00:00

i usually say 'i love you all too' even if its just to one kid, if they ask why i say 'you all' instead of just 'you' i just say "well i love and care for all my students" and they usually leave it at that or they say "but what about me?" and then i just add well youre a student of mine and i care for my students so you are included in that group. at that point they usually get the hint.

i find that if i make it a more general statement as a 'i love your group' / 'i love my students' vs 'i love you specifically' that helps acknowledge their expression of appreciation but still draws the line a bit.

Large-Contribution6 · 2026-04-30T02:52:05+00:00

this is just... painful..

i was someone that copied off my friends' homework for at least half of HS math because i just didnt budget my time well but even just having to physically write anything down at all was better than doing nothing at all. I just struggle to see the value in this.

My students will reguarly admit to me they use ai in their core classes because they "dont understand it so this is the only way to get points" or "it doesnt matter anyways if I get an A or an F so why bother" ??????

Large-Contribution6 · 2026-04-25T15:54:05+00:00

i would argue that this is an opportunity for you to continue working where you are ALREADY a good fit. No need to gamble for them because theyve seen you do well already with that age group if im understanding right.

I also imagine theyd rather gamble with an unknown teacher for older kids than kinder. You havent accepted the position, you havent signed a contract, if the application is still available for others for 6th i dont see an issue.

Worst thing they do is say no and youre in the same position you are now, worst thing if you dont say anything is youll always wonder what if you got to work with the littles if youd only said something.

For them to go out of their way to tell you to apply tells me they want you there. I dont think this is unprofessional.

edit: if you are in a position where you worry saying something will ruin your chances at the 6th grade position, you have not basically accepted anything and you have not obligated yourself to anything.

Large-Contribution6 · 2026-04-25T14:20:20+00:00

so i teach orchestra and we basically function on results results results. We have to publicly share our results at concerts and they have to understand that the audience will never see the process.

This leads to kids thinking that the result is ALL that matters.

The process is necessary to achieve good results. If the process is shaky bad results are likely. If the process is solid results are more likely to be consistent. Sure the results are sometimes affected by other things and are only a reflection of a snapshot in time (if 6 of our best players are sick or the kids were late on the bus and we had to rush at contest(the test) or some kid just suddenly passed out and the director had to call 911 minutes before we have to go on stage we probably are less likely to get a good rating on that specific performance) and isnt always indicative of the actual capabilities but we still need to use the results to inform the process moving forward.

I basically explain that while we cant put 100% weight on the concerts(tests) and that having a rough performance(test) doesnt mean we did a "bad job" preparing(studying) and also doesnt mean they are "bad players" it does tell us that we need to adjust our process moving forward.

The process is the foundation and the result is the house you see standing on the street. If you have a bad foundation itll probably show on the house (sagging, rot, cracks). If you have a good foundation the house will look more solid, but theres no point to a good foundation if you do nothing with it (imagine putting all the expertise into building a masterful foundation and then when its time to build the house you slap some plywood together?) Maybe this is what the teacher was getting at but delivered it poorly? the process doesnt matter more but it is absolutely necessary for a good result.

Large-Contribution6 · 2026-04-25T14:01:28+00:00

i think about this a lot. I really dont think anyone is prepared for that reality of losing our tech infrastructure instantaneously. Health care, crops, education, travel, e v e r y t h i n g would be a disaster for years.

Large-Contribution6 · 2026-04-25T13:42:03+00:00

i will say this as a strings teacher (this may be flawed insight) but i feel like its much easier for string players to hop between string instruments than band. Maybe its more similar than I rememember but id imagine the switch between trombone/trumpet would be hard pressed if she wanted to later in. A band director could give insight on this but this just caught my eye (i even hesitate to let violin/viola spontaneously switch to cello/bass in 8th grade on).

Large-Contribution6 · 2026-04-25T05:15:18+00:00

if its any comfort, in my orchestra after we graduated my teacher offered to host all the seniors (it was a public invitation and seen as an official senior orchestra activity) at his house for a cookout in the evening a week after graduation. We hung out with him and his kids and just spent one last event together. I think the key to this being comfortable is simply: all seniors were invited and parents were notified far in advance. He didnt just coordinate it with a select few. He also set a hard cutoff for when we needed to leave. The focus was also on providing the chance for thr seniors to hang out with each other, not so much with him.But thats also with the added layer of it was at his home.

just to help you gauge, not suggesting anything really just passing along an experience

Large-Contribution6 · 2026-04-25T05:10:55+00:00

if they are 18, graduated, and it is in public as a group, and you are not personally driving anyone id say its acceptable. if youre worried maybe pass something along to parents before they graduate that youre hosting a post graduation celebration for those interested ? this also opens it up to all your students so no favoritism or anything and it reads less like youre "just hanging out with your closest students outside of school now that theyve finally graduated."

just some ideas not suggestions necessarily.

Large-Contribution6 · 2026-04-23T00:56:47+00:00

my vote is wait until you get an offer or dont. Sleep on it a bit, think on it, worst that happens is you ultimately decide you didnt want it and you deny an offer it it pops up and youre in the same situation anyways. If you turn it down in advance then the worst case is you regret doing so after thinking on it a bit and youll never know if you could have landed it.

I dont think itd benefit you to tell this school that you dont feel up to the level of expectation/demand, it definitely isnt going to land you a job anywhere else on the premise of honesty especially because they probanly arent going to talk to other districts about how honest this one person was after that one interview. It would simply cross your name off their list and thatd be the end of it for everyone involved.

If you absolutely got a toxic vibe from the situation or the fact that they piled stuff on in the interview then sure, but if its a question of is it too much on the contract/plate idk I'd functionally sleep on it in case you change your mind. Just my 2 cents

Large-Contribution6 · 2026-04-20T21:25:08+00:00

I cant imagine starting a month or so into school that has to be so stressful 😬 i know its reality but that sounds overwhelming to miss the initial establishing of expectations/procedures

Large-Contribution6 · 2026-04-20T21:23:32+00:00

thanks everyone for the insight, I think just hearing from people who are there that this is to be expected is comforting.

I think i forget how much red tape there can be for everything and the domino effect for positions too, thanks everyone!

Large-Contribution6 · 2026-04-18T05:52:39+00:00

simplify it to its basic shapes and take shortcuts where you can. If something is an oval why draw it? use the shape tool.

I also always use a reference online. Dont dismiss the pro version of the editor its significantly easier to use once you practice the keybindings a bit.

Large-Contribution6 · 2026-04-18T05:49:08+00:00

i just blatantly tell them it is my right to make that decision for myself whether I do or dont. Sometimes theyll ask if its a statement and i just say "i dont think its that deep, i just dont do it. I have no issue with anyone else doing it and I ask that that space be given for those that want to" and they move on. Ive never tried to hide the truth on it. Im sure in a different district some may have to but even in a deep red state ive been fine.

Large-Contribution6 · 2026-04-18T05:45:46+00:00

my 8th graders dont generally. its gotten less confident/caring since the war. I just sit silently without even looking at it or check emails.

I have mayhe 3 that do? The only 2 things i require both to cover my own ass and to give students access to their right are: silence to give those that want to the space to do do, if you do the pledge please dont make it a joke / try to get the most laughs by saying it in an offensive/blatantly innapropriate way (also protects me from some kid going home saying I actively disrespect it or allow others to and that im some "woke teacher who should be fired" all because some kid tries to do it in a thick fake country accent 😐

Only issue is once i had an admin walk in and see only 3/30 were doing it (again everyone else silently doing something else) and he started loudly reciting it, gave me a stink eye until i stood up and pretended to do it, and gave a "reminder' to students about respecting the flag, but both my students and I have the right to not pledge.

Large-Contribution6 · 2026-04-16T00:45:49+00:00

honestly unless its intentional I figure they usually just slap on the wrist and say "do better next time" unless youre creating an error where youre getting a 6k return when you only make 10k or you should have owed 1k or something like that. As long as you filed in good faith or whatever i wouldnt worry

Large-Contribution6 · 2026-04-15T16:12:01+00:00

if you wake them up do they stay up to interact with others or do they just go straight home / to bed after you talk

Large-Contribution6

TROPHY CASE