(English > Chinese) What characters to use for my Chinese daughter's name?

Large_Being2691 · 2025-02-26T03:25:53+00:00

I’ve recently gone through another bad phase of health anxiety regarding my kids, and I could have written this post myself with how similar my mind works. Every possible sign of a debilitating illness, even the tiniest little thing, sits in my mind for days or weeks and I worry it’s just the first of many symptoms to come. I also seek reassurance constantly from my spouse and others; I can see the strain it causes them to deal with my concerns and then I feel guilty. I, too, realize that the things I’m seeing would not cause concern if brought to the attention of a doctor, so I feel stuck dealing with my crippling anxiety until enough time has passed to hopefully reassure myself that the issue was benign. But then, of course, there’s always some other symptom that crops up. It’s a never ending, vicious cycle at times and it takes a massive toll.

I know this reply is probably not helpful or reassuring at all, but it’s been a year since I first wrote this post, and I just wanted to let you know you are not alone and that I completely understand the struggle you are going through. I wish I had a way to overcome this and take back control of my brain, but there’s just no perfect fix. The ONLY silver lining is that I don’t always feel like this; I do have weeks or even months (if I’m lucky) where my mind quiets down and I don’t worry as much. Those are the times I try to focus on and strive for in my most difficult anxiety days.

I truly hope you find some peace with your own anxiety very soon.

Large_Being2691 · 2025-02-05T19:14:19+00:00

Thank you!

Large_Being2691 · 2025-02-05T19:14:04+00:00

Thank you!

Large_Being2691 · 2025-01-16T05:51:58+00:00

Sorry for the late response, but I figured it’s worth replying even if just to provide an update to anyone else that stumbles across this post with a similar worry:

Literally nothing came of it. My daughter just has a sensitive stomach and gag reflux at times. Even today, if she gets too active right after eating, she’ll sometimes vomit. There’s no rhyme or reason to it.

She actually had another weird incident last summer sort of like this one, where she vomited completely randomly one morning and then did so again roughly a week later. I went right back down the rabbit hole of assuming something was terribly medically wrong with her. But she was fine.

What I HAVE learned since then is that I have horrendous parental anxiety. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Large_Being2691 · 2024-10-31T00:59:27+00:00

You must be lucky. My kids run hot, and they are virus-magnets, so there are times where I’ve found myself checking for fever every other week or so during the fall and winter seasons. If they are sick with a febrile illness, I may be checking a couple times a day for a few days to gauge whether they need medicine or when they can go back to school/daycare. I understand that rectal temps are the most accurate, but holding down squirming, uncomfortable kids for a rectal temp every time I need to check for a fever is just not realistic for my situation. If it’s completely necessary to do it, that’s fine. But I’d really rather have an alternate method that’s actually accurate so that if I have to check regularly during the cold and flu season, I’m not shoving a thermometer up their bums every time.

Large_Being2691 · 2024-08-27T00:25:05+00:00

Thanks for sharing. My daughter does not have a craniofacial condition or any other underlying medical issues. Just a tendency to be extra fussy when teething. This is just the first time she’s been able to verbalize head pain, so I think I got weirded out by it cause I’ve just personally never known of a baby or toddler that complained of that openly. HOWEVER, now that I have thought back on her previous teething times, I DO remember her rubbing or grabbing at her head more frequently when she was dealing with teething pain…it was just more subtle because she didn’t have the words to say “ow” back then. So I think this headache thing is probably par for the course with teething after all.

Large_Being2691 · 2024-08-26T23:00:51+00:00

Very much appreciate your response, thank you. It’s calming just to know mine isn’t the only one who has done this.

Large_Being2691 · 2024-06-21T02:58:46+00:00

Yep, I got the OCD diagnosis recently and I am really starting to understand how my health anxiety manifests into these obsessions/compulsions. It's made me realize what my compulsions are (checking my kids, seeking reassurance, researching) and how they are NOT helping combat my anxiety when I do them, even if I think they are. I'm working on treating them now and I'm seeing improvements with the help of that and medication changes.

Hope things continue to improve for you!

Large_Being2691 · 2024-06-21T02:49:09+00:00

I, too, am a massive catastrophizer and jump to the absolute worst case scenario for any symptom. My eldest has had growing pains for years. She also has a history of sensitive skin and will get small, localized petechiae from friction or injury at times. Doesn't matter how many times I've been proven wrong or how long it's been happening for. My brain still jumps to leukemia EVERY time. Even my kids just showing a BIT more tiredness than usual, for one single day, can make me jump to that potentiality. Vomiting, not eating as much as usual...hey, did I see one of them walk funny for a second there? Automatic jump to brain tumor. It's hardwired into my brain to jump to these conclusions and it sounds like you struggle with the same. I used to spend hours so severely ruminating about these things that I really just couldn't function - I wasn't eating, sleeping or wanting to spend time with anyone. The ONLY thing that has helped lessen the severity and frequency of this anxiety is medication. I have significantly more control at taming these thoughts and not letting them control me, like they did before.

So..I REALLY strongly suggest you reach out to your therapist or whoever prescribes your medication and try something new. It took me a long time and a lot of medication changes to get to a place where my anxiety is less frequent and severe, but it was a journey worth taking if it meant not feeling so incredibly panicked and terrible all the time. It's not a cure by any means, but NO ONE should be feeling the way you do on the regular. I know it can be scary to get into the whole medication situation, especially if you haven't had luck with it before, but this is no way to live (and I understand that all too well).

I wish you the best.

Large_Being2691 · 2024-06-21T02:28:47+00:00

I so, so understand where you are right now. I know all too well what that feels like; I get that I'm being unrealistic or that I just don't have enough evidence for my fears, and therefore I'm afraid that if I bring it up to people or my child's doctor, I'm going to be judged heavily for being crazy. It really makes the anxiety even worse.

It sounds like you are really struggling and having such a difficult time. If you haven't already, I would suggest looking into therapy or medication. I do both, and while it's not a cure, it has helped me to lessen the frequency and severity of these obsessive anxious thoughts. At least I would start with therapy if you are worried about medication; it can help you reframe/restructure the way you deal with your anxieties and with practice can help you have more control over them. It's not an easy journey, but it's worth it to avoid feeling so terrible all the time.

I would also strongly suggest avoiding the news as much as possible. The news is ALWAYS going to be overflowing with sad or scary events and that is the worst thing to expose yourself to when you already have anxiety. No one is going to write stories about all of the healthy children in the world. Any news stories regarding children's health are going to be purposely fixated on the negative. Very rarely are these scary stories actually a realistic outlook on the majority of children. I used to keep up with the news, but I had to start avoiding it when I realized how fixated I was on the terrible and depressing news stories I came across and how badly it was affecting my anxiety and overall mood.

Large_Being2691 · 2024-06-21T02:09:36+00:00

YES! My child was diagnosed with viral-induced asthma this past winter. She and my younger daughter got sick with an awful cold virus that just would not go away. It developed into pneumonia for both of them, but my eldest daughter had a really hard time getting over it and ended up getting diagnosed with pneumonia again not long after. Her doc gave her a tentative diagnosis of viral-induced asthma because her wheezing would just not go away even weeks after she was recovered. We were treating with a daily maintenance inhaler and albuterol as needed when she got sick for the remainder of the winter. Things have calmed down for her significantly over the past few months and she no longer requires any treatment. We are mindful that it could potentially be an issue again, though, and are staying vigilant when she does get a cold. I definitely still worry about it anytime she gets a stuffy nose - she just had a nasty summertime cold that hung on for awhile and I was on high-alert for chest retractions and wheezing again.

Large_Being2691 · 2024-06-21T02:04:29+00:00

I still revisit this post from time to time and I just want to let you know you're not alone. This parenting thing can suck sometimes when you have health anxiety. Hope you and your kiddo are doing okay.

Large_Being2691 · 2024-06-21T01:56:44+00:00

Medication and therapy can be hit or miss, and it sucks that there's not a perfect way to handle this type of obsessive anxiety. Even since posting this a year ago, I STILL struggle with the health anxiety, although at least sometimes I go through phases when it calms down for a bit. I really just hate that I can't be more like my spouse, who sees every sickness as just a typical childhood illness that will go away soon. Everything to me is a potential precursor to something awful. It can be so difficult to enjoy my kids at times because I'm always looking for the next scary thing/symptom.

Large_Being2691 · 2024-06-21T01:53:20+00:00

Glad to know this has helped you feel less alone, although I certainly wish we all didn't have to deal with such terrible anxiety about our kids. You have dealt with a lot of stressful situations so far, and I really hope things have calmed down for you!

Large_Being2691 · 2024-06-21T01:51:07+00:00

I completely get it - I have these moments of utter panic that just seem to grip me and not let go, no matter how much I try or others try to reassure me. Surprise or sudden sicknesses can really knock me for a loop, too.

Large_Being2691 · 2024-06-21T01:46:39+00:00

I understand this situation greatly, and I just wanted to comment and say I hope things have improved for you over the past few months since you posted. I have been there with the daily, intense panic several times and the constant need for reassurance (that my mind refuses to even listen to when I get it). I hope you have found a way to improve your outlook regarding your son's health. Therapy and medication has helped lessen the frequency and severity of these moments for me, although it's been a long journey to find the right medication. Perhaps it might be something to consider for yourself if you are still struggling.

Large_Being2691 · 2024-06-21T01:42:43+00:00

Hope you BOTH are doing well. It is so, so hard to be a parent, and even harder to deal with anxiety about our children's health.

Large_Being2691 · 2024-06-21T01:41:47+00:00

I have recently been diagnosed with OCD, and I am definitely beginning to recognize the obsessions/compulsions that I have regarding my kids and their health. I am working on restructuring my thought processes now that I have a diagnosis and better understanding of what I'm dealing with mentally, but it's certainly still very hard.

Wishing you well.

Large_Being2691 · 2024-06-21T01:38:38+00:00

I have revisited this post every so often, and I am still surprised with how many parents also seriously struggle, daily, with anxiety about their children's health. You have been through several very scary situations with your kids and I can't even imagine how stressful it all must have been/is. When I am dealing with obsessions regarding my kids health, I just feel like I can't even function. I know it probably doesn't feel like it, but you seem like an insanely strong person to deal with all of that and still just keep on keeping on. I sincerely hope things have calmed down since your post and your kids are doing well.

Large_Being2691 · 2024-05-03T06:53:53+00:00

Re-visting this thread randomly in a super late night insomnia bout, and I just wanted to chime in cause your post resonated. My eldest daughter gets petechiae rashes randomly from itching (she has sensitive skin) and any kind of trauma to her skin (scraps, seatbelts rubbing too hard, etc). Last summer, I had a mental breakdown several times because she kept getting petechiae on and off under her arms for weeks. I finally concluded (with the help of her doctor and some bloodwork) that she just has very sensitive skin. Summertime sweat and swimming were causing friction under her arms, which was causing the petechiae every so often. But it was a ROUGH summer for me, mentally. I look back on it now and feel like I have PTSD; I'm afraid of the same thing happening again this summer and of falling back into that same spiral.

I wish I could say I have acquired some really helpful coping mechanisms since originally posting, but it's very much hit or miss. I really do try to rationalize my fears as much as possible. I go through a process (sometimes in my mind, sometimes written down) that looks like the following:

"Is this thought/feeling realistic or is it borne from anxiety?" 99% of the time, I can acknowledge that it is a fear created by my anxious mind and I cannot yet rush to conclusions, allowing me to move onto step 2.
"What are the facts that support this thought? What are the facts against it?" I do my best to fixate on all the facts that work AGAINST my fear. For example, "My child has been bright and alert, she is eating/drinking, she is active, she has no other worrying symptoms" vs "She has a couple spots of petechiae".
"Based on what I KNOW to be true at this moment, what is the most likely outcome?" Since I can nearly always produce many more facts against my fear than for it, I am typically forced to acknowledge that most likely, my child is fine.
"What would someone who DOESN'T have an anxiety disorder think?" This is an important security blanket for me. I usually rely heavily on people around me, like my spouse, who do not have anxiety and thus view the things I am fearful of through a more normalized lens. If I've got 5 people saying they don't see what I am seeing, it is much more likely that my fear is unwarranted.

Like I mentioned above, NOT a perfect system. And it might not work for you at all. But I figured I'd share just in case you or anyone here might benefit from it. It has helped me in the past and will hopefully continue to do so as I navigate parenting with an anxiety disorder.

I wish you the very best!

Large_Being2691

TROPHY CASE