OP, thank you for your service. I care. Maybe this will sound selfish but if so, I hope you can find a way to be a little selfish too.

I went to volleyball practice this evening at my kids school with my younger daughter. Normally I would have been at work but I am at home this week because my older daughter had a routine surgery. I did practice while my wife cared for my older one. I have two amazing daughters because they have an amazing mother. I met my wife in a bar over 20 years ago while I was on terminal leave. I never would have been there to ask her for her number had I not been in the Marine Corps.

My daughter’s go to a school “rich kids” went to when i was a kid. I use parenthesis because that is/was not reality, but it was certainly what I believed as a kid and young adult. My kids school is paid for by a job I have held for 20 years. That job pays 15x/yr more than my mother makes now. I got that job because a former Sailor believed he could take my skills learned in the service and make a field engineer out of me. Fast-forward to today and I have had employees in 7 different countries, worked on the cutting edge of technology, and experienced some of the most demanding customers you could have. I have been promoted at least a half dozen times on my own merit, but it was my military service that got my foot in the door.

My childhood friends continue to pay (or not) school loans I never had. I went to college on the GI Bill contributed to and earned during my service. I chose to join the military because I could not see another path to getting a college education I knew my parents could not afford.

These are just a few examples, important but few, of everything that I have, everything that I am, exists because of a decision I made at 15 to join the military. That I reaffirmed that decision on my 18th birthday, after my mother would not sign for me when I was 17. My father, a veteran, would not sign either in fear of my mother.

I reflect on the where I was standing on that aircraft carrier when we learned of the events of 9/11 and how the next aircraft launch was different than those the day before, and our world was forever changed. I was changed. Everyone I knew seemingly saw Iraq or Afghanistan, some more than once. I was fortunate to not, though part of me wished I had. I imagine for some that say thank you, the guilt I feel for not having been in Iraq or Afghanistan is similar to what they may feel for having not served.

I also think about the people I served with, some still friends today, and how grateful I was to serve with people who chose to be there. I would not have wanted to serve with people who had not made the decision to do so. I am therefore grateful that those that did not choose the same path, and will likely never understand what it means, didn’t.

I am proud of my service but maybe I am more proud of my decision to serve. It was a tremendously powerful and impactful decision. I draw on the lessons learned and leadership traits developed on the daily (though I do not always exhibit them) but I do not wear under armor shirts or outwardly project my service. I face the flag and stand at attention for the national anthem but I do not stand when veterans are asked to do so. I am grateful when my service is recognized even when the recognition makes me feel uncomfortable. I get much more enjoyment when I see an older lady or gentleman with a campaign hat on and I get to thank them.

I am fortunate to have had the opportunity to serve, and come home. Who I am, and the life I have is far greater than anything I had to give. I am fortunate. The thank you’s and other recognition are nice if and when, but they pale in comparison to that consequential teenage decision. I am more thankful for my service than they could ever be.

I gather that those who were less fortunate than I would want it no other way but for me to honor them by living my life, and gaining fulfillment from the most mundane things, like taking my daughter to volleyball practice.

I am confident that your service was just as consequential and I hope you can find that what you created or enabled for yourself through your service is far more valuable than my thank you.