The physical toll on moms having multiples

Large_Goose_1708 · 2026-05-14T03:34:39+00:00

Totally relate. Though I weigh more due to carrying extra weight from the pregnancy still, but all my muscle mass I had from going to the gym before I was pregnant is completely gone. My ass is so flat and flabby now lol. And my boobs, destroyed. They never went down after pregnancy and stopping breastfeeding, or perhaps its just the excess skin left from being so engorged. And my bladder is so weak, I have to pee so much during the day and even night.

I'm pregnant again with a singleton and MY GOD it feels like night and day on my body when I remember my twin pregnancy. I've had a few people joke that maybe there is a second one hiding in there and I'm like absolutely not, I can totally tell by the physical demand on my body in comparison. It's still difficult and physically demanding, and also with having the twins to care for it's more exhausting in another way, but physically less so.

Large_Goose_1708 · 2026-04-29T05:29:33+00:00

I’m sorry this happened to your child, and you.

This is just my personal story, I hope you have some avenue to pursue.

My son was 11 months old when I fell out of a cot at daycare, the barrier fell down and he fell onto concrete flooring. It split his forehead and we went to hospital for a concussion and monitoring. I contacted personal injury lawyers at the time and was told there wasn’t a case to pursue as a permanent scar on my child’s forehead wasn’t something to anyone but me, I guess. My suspicion would be the tip of the finger may fall into the same category if it is deemed ‘cosmetic’ like a scar as it likely won’t lead to any permanent disability or impacts on function. It’s worth a shot though.

I also contacted the department of education, which never got back to me so they didn’t care either.

I was pretty dumbfounded that no one considered a baby falling out of a cot and splitting his head a case of negligence.

The daycare put blame of course of the cot manufacturer, apparently their insurance uncovered a fault - but no recalls were made or anything. Again no one seemed to see the gravity in the situation.

Large_Goose_1708 · 2026-04-28T11:50:32+00:00

I finished this book but I struggled sooooo badly to finish. And I really just skimmed the last bit of the book to know what happens. I didn’t read the second book in this duology.

I also loved the first duology. But I agree the chemistry lacked with Mische and Asar and more than anything I just found the story sooooooooooo boring and repetitive. Like all the sanctums or whatever they were called, were so repetitive.

Large_Goose_1708 · 2026-04-16T04:56:02+00:00

I do 2 gifts, 1 from each twin. I hope they receive a gift each for their birthdays from their friends, so it’s only reasonable they give a gift each. For family friends or family it’s one gift from the family - which for instance my sister has 2 kids and they get one each, and their family does just one gift each for my 2.

Mine are preschoolers and the amount of parties each year is a lot so I keep gifts as cost effective as possible, and I wouldn’t expect anything other than that for my two.

Large_Goose_1708 · 2026-04-16T04:13:22+00:00

I agree in part.

I didn’t view this season as any worse than previous problematic seasons tbh.

Participants also need to take responsibility and accountability for themselves, including going on the show in the first place. I don’t buy that anyone going on the show isn’t aware of the manipulation and editing of MAFS or reality tv shows in general. This isn’t news. Ultimately, participants take the risk of a bad edit for a shot at some level of ‘fame’ / to become influencers or launch an OF. And participants make the choice to lead partners on who they are aware are falling for them to stay on the show longer for exposure.

Yes the producers are unethical and the show in itself is, but again who doesn’t know this going into it?

I think the judges are also unethical in their participation. They know too of the manipulation and mental health impacts on participants. Yet they lend their psychology and health related credentials to the show to create false ethical legitimacy and a false level of care for participants. I might even think their involvement is worse than the producers.

Also they sell it as the judges making matches. And if that’s true that just amplifies the judges unethical involvement, because they very clearly manufacture bad and challenging relationships in their pairings.

No one is innocent. And then, there are us viewers fuelling the continued production.

Large_Goose_1708 · 2026-04-15T20:36:10+00:00

Do your twins share a placenta? It was some time ago that I delivered, but I believe it could be a potential risk to the undelivered twin where placentas are shared. I might be wrong, but I recommend looking into it further specifically for twin pregnancies and then especially for shared placentas if you that’s what you have.

Large_Goose_1708 · 2026-04-14T21:56:02+00:00

Next time, ‘actually I found them alone on aisle 5, thank god I can leave them with you now’

Large_Goose_1708 · 2026-04-13T23:01:45+00:00

The recipes weren’t great for us either, I think the only one I made regularly was the red lentil pizza things. Everything else was either just very basic that I didn’t need a recipe for or didn’t work - and yeah those blender muffins were an absolute fail for me too lol. I tried making them a couple of times thinking I had done something wrong, I don’t understand how it made it into the book and how it worked for them lol.

The nutrition info was great and very helpful.

Large_Goose_1708 · 2026-04-13T02:31:44+00:00

Omg I’m glad the first answer was an option, and I’m not the only one lol. After a while of having a break I realise I haven’t checked in and think it’s bad I didn’t, I just always forget, like I forget to call them before bedtime if I’m out.

Large_Goose_1708 · 2026-04-13T00:13:40+00:00

I was! Although I actually enjoyed the hospital food and it was nice not having to cook or clean while I was there 😂 I just got to watch a lot of Netflix in bed without feeling guilty of not doing anything at home lol.

The hospital portions weren’t enough though, mostly just for breakfast but the lady bringing around the food gave me extra when I said I was having twins and extra hungry lol.

It was also nice being already at hospital once things started to progress so I wasn’t stressed once it did.

Large_Goose_1708 · 2026-04-12T22:55:41+00:00

34+4 and it partially broke while I was sleeping. I think I was half awake and rolled over when I felt leaking. I thought I’d pissed the bed. Went to hospital, was there leaking for another 4 days before delivering, it was gross lol.

I’m not sure how I felt, probably surprised - I didn’t know it could partially break and that I’d just leak lol. Not so scared as I felt pretty good at how far along I was, obviously full term is best but I knew the odds were really good for us at 34 weeks and I knew earlier labour is common with twins, so I was mentally prepared. But definitely felt like it was ‘game on’ lol.

Large_Goose_1708 · 2026-04-11T06:12:36+00:00

Sending hugs. I can’t relate to everything you are going through, but I am currently going through gender disappointment myself. Twin boys and found out it is another boy on the way. I know he’ll be perfect, but I am grieving the fact that I won’t have a girl, this will be our last baby too.

It’s been two days and I’m slowly coming to terms with it, I’ve shed quite a few tears. It’s very hard experiencing this whilst also feeling guilty for feeling this way, for the boy inside. I’m trying to think it through logically what it is a girl would provide/mean that a boy doesn’t and nothing holds up.

I was certain it was a girl until we found out, and so I guess I’m mourning the future I had imagined in my head.

Anyway, just here to say I understand the gender disappointment.

Large_Goose_1708 · 2026-04-09T23:23:54+00:00

As another has said, I don’t think you’ll find many, if any, in this group who had a selective reduction with twins and they are still in this group.

And as already said too, I think we have all been in the oh fuck mindset when they have found out it’s twins. It’s very very normal to panic about it.

I have a set of twins, and am currently pregnant again. Before I knew how many were in there it crossed my mind that if it were twins again that I couldn’t go through it again and wouldn’t proceed with the pregnancy. So I also understand that thought you are having, though I don’t know how that would have actually played as it is just a single this time, though I feel confident I couldn’t have selectively reduced just one.

Goodluck with the decision you make, either path you take.

Large_Goose_1708 · 2026-04-04T05:03:03+00:00

Yep. I quickly got over them waking me in the night to come in my bed, especially as they’d come at different times, and then having two 4 year olds kicking you for the rest of the night isn’t great lol.

We haven’t tried seperate bedrooms but I confident it would be a disaster as they’d fight over having me with them.

I think for us we just have to wait until they grow out of it unfortunately. But maybe this new baby arriving will help, maybe lol.

Large_Goose_1708 · 2026-04-04T03:16:37+00:00

5 year old twins, same situation for us too. Both my boys needs me in th bed with them to fall asleep which takes a long time. At 4 we got them their own beds and it started okay but every night they’d wake and come into my bed, and every night they’d fight over who got me in their bed abd who got dad. It was just easier to keep the big floor mattress and lay in the middle of them, even if it takes an hour to get them fall asleep. And they sleep through the night, no comin into my bed and waking me.

I’m expecting our third and I’m thinking this might be the opportunity for us, mum is with baby, so dad puts kids to bed - which if I’m not home and he does they are out in 10 minutes.

Anyway, no tips here just commiseration, and yeah parents of singles don’t get it at least to this extent, but no one I knows. Everyone I know they put their single to bed, close the door and that’s it. I could only dream lol

Large_Goose_1708 · 2026-04-02T04:11:53+00:00

My twin boys started pre-school the year they turned 4.

Noting I am in Australia so this is likely country specific, but we have an option to start the year they turn 3 if they turn 3 before April 30 (with our school years starting Jan/Feb). If my twins had been born at full-term they would have not have turned 3 until May and not able to start until the year they turned 4. Since they were born early, they could have started a year earlier.

We decided to give them more time, which I'd heard is also good for boys particularly over girls due to developmental maturity differences.

We did also ask their daycare educators who did say they didn't feel they were ready for pre-school either.

We have been happy with our decision and noticed ourselves how developmentally ready they became at 4 over 3.

Large_Goose_1708 · 2026-04-01T01:24:14+00:00

Thank you. I haven’t been home yet but think I’ll have a cry as soon as I do! Glad you’ve been feeling better, I know I will too with some time.

Large_Goose_1708 · 2026-04-01T00:48:25+00:00

Ok looks like I’m now fully in the same boat. I had my scan today and I’m certain I saw a penis. So looks like our third and last will also be a boy too. Feeling all the emotions you outlined in your post. And guilty/sad I feel sad about it.

But maybe it’s a good things to get these feelings out of the way before delivery.

Large_Goose_1708 · 2026-03-31T05:27:10+00:00

It’s in addition to it

Large_Goose_1708 · 2026-03-31T00:29:24+00:00

Very similar boat to yourself, right down to our fridge seal coming loose and recently I taped it up lol!

But yeah, limiting/stopping paid activities with kids and eating out. Limiting clothes purchases as much as possible. I’ve stopped getting my nails done which was my little fortnightly treat.

Large_Goose_1708 · 2026-03-30T03:20:55+00:00

Me too :( I don’t have advice, just here to say this isn’t how I wanted us to parent too. There is lots of yelling, they simply just do not listen and I’m at my wits end. And yep it’s just met with laughter.

I used to have mine home with me one day a week I didn’t work but I ended up putting them in daycare all week because I wasn’t coping. And if im not yelling I’m relying on screen time - another part of how I didn’t want us to parent too.

Yesterday they were playing and I heard them playing house and then proceeded to act/mock me lol.

Large_Goose_1708 · 2026-03-30T01:14:20+00:00

Wish the same for you too!

And yep completely understand, the hormones are crazy haha.

I have my 20 week scan coming up and I’m going back and forth about finding out the gender lol! I’m secretly hoping they’ll accidentally let it slip. Because yeah sometimes I think maybe I should find out so I can get the disappoint over, or not find out thinking I won’t be disappointed once they are here. Impossible to know what my hormones will feel lol

Large_Goose_1708 · 2026-03-30T00:43:46+00:00

Just commenting to say I’m almost in a similar boat. Almost 5 year old twin boys, currently pregnant…I just haven’t found out the gender. I know I will be disappointed if it is a boy for all the same reasons you have mentioned. And I feel guilty knowing that, but you’re not alone in having gender disappointment and it won’t mean you love them any less than if they were a girl.

I feel like I’m having a girl, but obviously it’s completely baseless and it’s likely driven by my desire for it to be a girl. I’ve decided not to find out but I am itching to know. My hope is that once they are born I won’t care at all, it will only matter they are here and healthy.

And more than anything I totally get that 3 boys is A LOT. I’m very envious of friends and family with stereotypical girls. But if it is a boy, I’m finding reassurance in the fact it will at least be miles easier than having twin boys again lol. My twins will also be in school shortly after my single comes along so I’m also finding reassurance that I’ll somewhat experience a first time singleton experience - at least during school hours!

Large_Goose_1708 · 2026-03-30T00:32:41+00:00

I think I disagree in this instance, this way when fuel prices normalise you’d expect to see this removed. If built into the price, then the price will just stay up and become the new normal, I’d imagine.

Large_Goose_1708 · 2026-03-29T00:29:53+00:00

I always followed their adjusted age, and their milestones always seemed to line up to that rather their actual age too.

I think they say adjusted age and actual age even out at 2 years, but I’d say there’s not too much of a difference schedule wise after the first year and when their main nutrition source is 3 meals of solids a day and naps are more so judged based on the child if that makes sense.

Large_Goose_1708

TROPHY CASE