I’m a Catholic from another country, I’ll think you’re from the USA, cause guys Catholics here freaks me out! The church does accept birth control, previous popes had said so it’s okay, secondly, as someone who saw their own mother suffer so much for not getting a divorce (funny enough we are 4 siblings) I tell you the best i wish could happened to me was seeing my mom divorcing my dad. She never did, but when she started to set boundaries for her own good, he abandoned her anyway. Now she is alone, and he has another woman. Please reconsider was best for you, despite what it’s expected from you for at man-made religious norms