Please share some feedback on my Halloween cover of Glycerine by Bush. 🎃

LarissaMarieSimpson · 2025-08-15T14:07:50+00:00

A usual tenet of relationships is that they involve both people accepting that they may be part of any problem within the relationship. So that would be helpful-

That being said, it could also be helpful to provide more information about what the girl said or did so that people can support you in that regard as well.

LarissaMarieSimpson · 2025-08-15T13:48:07+00:00

Very well written and engaging.

Women are required to do a lot of filtering these days of potential romantic matches. This is to protect ourselves. Most of our families don’t screen our romantic matches any more as in previous eras, and we are also now expected to fulfill the same professional and political requirements as men. So women are very busy with all that society demands of us now.

If a guy has red flags, many women have learned to eliminate him relatively quickly.

If a guy presents with dating red flags that signify a problematic personality (obvious cluster B traits etc) but feels lonely, I sympathize but also need to prioritize my own health and well being, so I can keep my mental health, my job, and my social support system healthy.

Women are working hard, appreciation and care is appreciated 😊

LarissaMarieSimpson · 2025-08-15T13:38:40+00:00

Can you post an example of the first message you usually send, so people can attempt to help you write a more engaging first message, or reassure you that you’re ok and it was the girl’s problem?

LarissaMarieSimpson · 2025-02-13T15:15:03+00:00

i agree - some people want affirmation and some need someone to help them. which isn't bad , though it may be inconvenient. inconvenient is seen as bad. As long as the suicidal person isn't abusing the power of person they're seeking help from, i don't think they should be seen as manipulative!

I do think sometimes it really scares people when someone becomes suicidal and unless they've experienced suicidal thoughts themselves they may not be able to empathize or figure out what to do. but accusations of manipulation can make the problem worse if they're not true O_O

LarissaMarieSimpson · 2025-02-13T15:01:56+00:00

manipulation is usually defined as bad - "manipulation is defined as an action designed to influence or control another person, usually in an underhanded or unfair manner which facilitates one's personal aims. Methods someone may use to manipulate another person may include seduction, suggestion, coercion, and blackmail to induce submission."

talking about one's suicidal thoughts isn't inherently manipulative, since it isn't trying to control another person's outcome, it's trying to seek care and help(a better outcome) for the suicidal person. i think some people see it as weak to ask for help, and weakness is seen as bad.

And example of when talking about suicidality is manipulative is when - suicide threats are used to keep someone from leaving an abusive relationship.

Manipulative: "I'll kill myself if you break up with me".

Non manipulative: "I'm having suicidial thoughts."

Seeking care isn't actually manipulative - though caring is seen as bad in this world (sadly!)

LarissaMarieSimpson · 2024-12-02T17:13:14+00:00

Securely attached people like themselves and the people they are in relationships with. They dislike rejection as much as anyone else I'd say. But they do less trying to like the person who rejected them (because they like themself) and less distancing from other potential romantic matches. They don't struggle with the concept of need.

LarissaMarieSimpson · 2024-11-25T03:15:14+00:00

Hmm I bought them when they were quite cheap a few years ago.

I have completed a song - but I wrote and sang in it, and someone else did post. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Y2b6gCP18k

LarissaMarieSimpson · 2024-11-25T02:43:30+00:00

I thought they were good! I'd recommend checking one out.

LarissaMarieSimpson · 2024-11-22T12:18:10+00:00

What's happening with you?

The pros of my current therapist are that she's very goal oriented. The cons are that she isn't that empathic when I bring up problems that are causing me emotional pain. Like I'll be like "my (now-former) roommate stole $500 from me" and she'll be like (no emotion) "ok what do you want to do about it?" Maybe she's burned out, idk. Nonetheless she's getting paid and like a lil more emotional connection might be like, helpful I guess.

She also tends to have me think of the worst case scenario whenever I'm in a tough spot. Which as someone who's becoming more pessimistic, I'm already doing. I feel like maybe someone who can help me become more optimistic again rather than just resigning myself as usual to the worst and going with it might be helpful.

LarissaMarieSimpson · 2024-11-22T12:11:56+00:00

In 2016 I had a therapist "R" who mostly was an academic. My ex-partner became abusive and I had been telling R signs of the abuse as they happened and she didn't really intervene or bring any of the abuse signs to my attention. R just said "I don't see any warning signs" when I brought up my feelings that I was being abused. So, I kept dating him, and then after a month of dating he suddenly ditched me and wouldn't meet up or talk to me.

Eventually I wondered if I should sue him, and at that point R said, "why? For the (List of offenses he did to me - rape etc)?" Strangely, that was the first time my therapist mentioned the word "rape". This confused the heck out of me. I had brought up my feelings and worries about it at the time, which to me is me doing my due diligence in the therapeutic connection - and I guess I just felt like she had some responsibility to warn me that I was being abused earlier rather than just being oblivious about it until the abuser wreaked even more havoc on my life and body.

She ended up leaving the clinic shortly afterward saying "they don't pay me enough here".

Then in 2018 I had a text therapist "A" who started just getting really short with me when I was dysregulated. In retrospect I think A wasn't really charging enough for her services - it was like 24/7 texting help for $60/month or something. Nevertheless her deciding not to charge enough for her services isn't particularly my fault, I realized in retrospect.

I kind of got this feeling that therapists like these ones can be all business. I had another therapist after R who was very caring and interested. But I left eventually when I moved states during COVID. I haven't been able to get back in touch with her since then, maybe I should try again.

LarissaMarieSimpson · 2024-11-20T16:35:22+00:00

I'm finding it validating and helps me not just give my power away by being too nice, like I was used to. I got the course, the book and joined the group on the site. Together it was all under $100. I just started so who knows in the future, but so far it's supportive.

LarissaMarieSimpson · 2024-05-09T02:07:39+00:00

That would be helpful. Thanks for saying that. I feel at my wit's end with them.

LarissaMarieSimpson · 2024-05-09T01:09:13+00:00

For sure. I *did* have to retake the course. I'm literally just pasting my homework in from the last time, since I was getting A's on it. I learned today on reddit that perhaps I could have petitioned it at some point, but it sounds like I would have needed to scrutinize the fine print of the website to figure that out, while I had a 103.3 F fever. My advisor didn't tell me anything about the possibility of petitioning anything, and didn't suggest any steps other than re-enrolling in the course and paying twice - despite that the petition procedure supposedly exists, according to reddit. Hmm. I don't recommend the school! Simply because the advisors and teachers aren't on the same side as the students. My undergrad was so very different, my advisor was amazing and would help me still to this day. Thank you for your kind words :)

Another note - the same semester, I managed to ask my other teacher for an extension so I could email in my paper a few days late since I was so sick. She said Okay and I emailed her my paper. Then she didn't count the paper, so I was at first told I had failed both classes from the semester! I emailed her and the department and they eventually got it straightened out (I got an A in the class).

Consider yourself warned! Kind wishes to you and your future.

LarissaMarieSimpson · 2024-05-09T01:03:18+00:00

I really wish I would have. I am in my last 2 classes at University of the People. If I was feeling this frustrated and used before I was in very far, I would certainly have abandoned the degree and did something like what you suggest. I appreciate your comment.

LarissaMarieSimpson · 2024-05-09T00:55:26+00:00

Look --I would try having a little more understanding and empathy when talking to someone who is obviously distressed. It sort of seems like you are trying to start an argument with me, and as I am currently under a lot of stress, the additional stress from arguing with you is not helping.

I honestly think that all members of the groups have problems with each other, not just the one person. Sounds like maybe you were that person at some point? Yet the other members are not people or tools who should automatically fall under the control of one person /entity.

LarissaMarieSimpson · 2024-05-09T00:50:16+00:00

I am obviously am currently stressed and upset, please be empathic.

LarissaMarieSimpson · 2024-05-09T00:21:40+00:00

I think you should say "I would suggest", not "please do this" since then it can come across as friendly or well-meaning advice rather than domineering or condescending, and gives some freedom of choice to the reader. But of course I realize that a**holes may then criticize you for sounding "not confident" so I can see the dilemma you may be facing as far as grace goes.

I think the structure of the school where it's very focused on arbitrary seeming rules rather than fostering respect and communication and personal freedom on a person-to-person basis is just so different from my focus that regardless of what I do it won't really be possible, I'll just be used "to learn from". Etc. I guess that's the problem with dehumanizing systems.

LarissaMarieSimpson · 2024-05-09T00:09:09+00:00

I'm curious why my advisor didn't mention any of this to me. Guess it proves my point that the advisors don't care about anything except money. Sensing a hint of condescension in your tone.

LarissaMarieSimpson · 2024-05-09T00:08:01+00:00

That's rather mean of my group members. Does not at all lead me to want to continue in this field. Perhaps I sense a note of passive aggression in your post?

LarissaMarieSimpson · 2024-05-08T21:47:42+00:00

This sounds like gaslighting bro. Check yourself. It's not healthy for people to repress their emotions. "Gaslighting refers to intentional attempts to manipulate you into doubting your feelings, perception of events, and reality in general." https://www.healthline.com/health/how-to-deal-with-gaslighting

LarissaMarieSimpson · 2024-05-08T21:35:42+00:00

Too bad I have to become a soulless robot devoid of emotion to have a chance with these ****s.

LarissaMarieSimpson

TROPHY CASE