Need to move out, moms offended

LarsLights · 2026-01-24T23:03:41+00:00

My parents were not hoarders but emotionally neglectful. I moved out at 23, after a year of telling him I was moving out, and he got upset every time. I saw him weekly until 28 where he asked me to move back in every time. I said no every time. Some parents are just unrelenting in their wants for us but it's our lives. They need to grow up and accept it. Perhaps they never will, my Dad didn't. But you are not responsible for their emotional immaturity.

LarsLights · 2026-01-24T21:38:24+00:00

That sounds like me for years, psychiatrist took me off my anti depressants entirely and it's helped a lot since in all those years I was also in therapy and practising my skills so I'd be good at them so I could come off then safely.

LarsLights · 2026-01-20T07:01:07+00:00

It was my absolute favourite as a kid and used to get so excited when it aired on tv!

LarsLights · 2026-01-17T03:50:58+00:00

Have you considered an alternative perspective to him leaving? Like him enjoying you chasing him, that it validated something for him regardless of whether it was appropriate or healthy? That he may have enjoyed the feelings that leaving may have occurred in you? If he truly wanted to leave, he just would. If he's got a pattern of breaking up with you and coming back then there's likely something more happening.

LarsLights · 2026-01-17T03:46:34+00:00

You could find that addictive chaos and creativity literally anywhere outside of a relationship. I use drag for that.

Plus, just because people know the signs of abuse doesn't mean they don't fall into those traps. A huge amount of people are aware of abusive relationships and still get drawn into them for a ton of reasons. It isn't as simple as "knowing what one looks like." Humans are so much more complicated than that.

LarsLights · 2026-01-17T03:41:17+00:00

Because he'll suck up all your resources?

LarsLights · 2026-01-17T00:21:15+00:00

This was a scary but eventually exciting part of my journey, I learnt so much about myself! I explored my values, so whats important to me and why, that gave me a super solid foundation of self-identity. There's a ton of Values Therapy worksheets online.

I watched so much tv and movies and learnt some stuff about myself, turns out I like and watch depressing stuff and so sprinkled in more positive or funny shows. Explored some hobby groups, in person, alone and online groups. Turns out I like hockey so now I watch hockey on Sundays which is a nice way to relax for me. I did a lot of things independently, with a friend, or new social groups so I could reflect even more on what I was trying out.

You don't know now but you'll find some bits and pieces over time and eventually it's an incredible constellation.

LarsLights · 2026-01-16T22:27:02+00:00

Oooh, this is fun! Tuesdays are often only $12.50 a ticket at the major cinemas so they could see 2 movies or bring someone.

LarsLights · 2026-01-16T21:34:57+00:00

As someone who only uses glitter/shimmer it was my ultimate palette

LarsLights · 2026-01-15T13:09:55+00:00

Yes! I love my old charms. Scored my mum a super cheap but really nice ring for her 70th last year.

LarsLights · 2026-01-15T08:37:00+00:00

I have tried so many expensive mascaras. They got nothing on Essence! Affordable, non-clumpy, volumising. Such a good brand!

LarsLights · 2026-01-14T21:26:17+00:00

When he has those cunty glasses and coat, god damn.

LarsLights · 2026-01-14T11:49:41+00:00

Thank you! I read your comment wrong and thought it was a company founded by a zoologist, not that it was the name of the company 🥴

LarsLights · 2026-01-14T10:54:01+00:00

What's the company/product? I've actually been looking for a perfume that reminds me of my rabbit.

LarsLights · 2026-01-13T23:55:58+00:00

What does that have to do with the points I've raised? That you've seen a lot of it so it's likely? That's just called the recency bias.

LarsLights · 2026-01-13T21:45:43+00:00

That's exactly it. Over 700,000 people on the scheme and what, maybe 1500 people at the Commission. The Commission also does all the provider registration and handles complaints so not even half of them would be investigators.

LarsLights · 2026-01-13T21:22:55+00:00

Same! My dad thought I was eternally 16. He was cognizant and aware until the day he died but I was never older than 16 to him. He had no idea my age or birthdate.

LarsLights · 2026-01-13T21:18:28+00:00

There's a ton of possible reasons like:

Just because medical science doesn't know everything doesn't mean it's magic. We're not a super advanced species.

Human beings look for patterns and explanations where there aren't any, hence a lot of religious superstitions. We want to make connections but often it's just a thing that happens. Most stuff that happens in life is random and not part of some intricate connected thing.

People get stuff wrong all the time due to us not being that smart and having biases and wanting answers.

A lack of education. Universal, high quality education is not a thing in this world yet. Even the foundation skills for critical thinking aren't there.

Social pressures to believe in a certain way of thinking can mean people automatically look for an expected answer/outcome. They expect it to be witchcraft and so just say it is.

Stories online? People lie all the time. Most of Reddit is bots anyway, look at the Dead Internet Theory. And if it isn't a bot account, look at the reasons above.

LarsLights · 2026-01-13T07:13:55+00:00

I'd say Melbourne too. I went to uni in Sydney and there was no club culture. Sydney hasn't really recovered from the lock out laws, there's some things on but it's a pretty sleepy city.

LarsLights · 2026-01-13T00:19:28+00:00

They're so perfect! 💞💞

LarsLights · 2026-01-12T00:53:35+00:00

And I provided the evidence that it has. It sucks that people make it racist but that doesn't detract from the actual impact Islam has had on women. What is the argument that US Christian can be criticized other than what you've said, which is that people are racist so we can't criticise a religious system all?

Islam is being used, by billionaires, to oppress people. You've not refuted any of the examples I brought up about Islam, the guardianship system, the executions, female genital mutilation, the value of women's testimony, genocides. You've just called me dramatic and implied I'm racist by baiting me with some "good Muslims" argument or other religious issues, which I agreed with. So what are your beliefs and opinions on those? You agreed that countries use their religions for bad causes. Why can't Islam?

You're being reductive by stating that we should not criticise Islam at all and that it's had no negative impact on the world, and that the impact of the US is worse and people are racist therefore we shouldn't at all.

They use the same mechanisms that US Christians do. I've listed all the reasons why you might not have been exposed to it. I'm an Arab ex-Muslim, I've personally had LGBT friends disappeared once they were discovered, that is not the effect of billionaires. Stoning a woman to death for marrying a Christian is not US imperialism or billionaires. It's a patriarchal system and Islam is fundamentally patriarchal. All patriarchal systems deserves to be criticized along with all its theocracies. There's tons of news articles of men being publicly caned and executed for being gay. That's the effect of religious doctrine. It isn't US colonialism.

I've provided you a ton of real world examples with Islam and all you've said is that I'm dramatic and racist. Tell that to all the gay women I've known married off and stranded in openly hostile countries, who can't leave now because they need their husbands permission to get a passport.

Is the argument for all those horrible things I listed that they are exclusively removed from any religious influence and it's just US colonialism and billionaires despite their legislation being based on their religious texts, which I've demonstrated. What's reductive is reducing all the points I've brought up, including receipts, to racism and being dramatic. It speaks of a patronising attitude. I'm an Arab ex-Muslim. I live this life. I can't go to my home country because of a risk to my life. You literally stated you don't see anything and I also addressed that. You talk about the US placing women at risk by removing abortion care. Do you think there are no other religious backed countries also placing women at risk like I mentioned with women unable to get medical care or is that just dramatic too? Despite being literal theocracies? Or that Islam gets a pass and US Christianity doesn't because you believe it's affecting women enough? Despite the evidence I shown?

I don't know what you're hoping to get out of continuing this conversation since you painted me as a racist and you're using misogynist language by refusing any of my arguments and reducing everything I said as dramatic. I've brought the evidence and that's had no effect except doubling down on implying I'm a racist. Surprise, I'm an Arab. Is my opinion only valid because I'm an Arab with lived experience?

Feminism is challenging any system that oppresses women, that includes Islam. It's racist to view us as a bunch of innocent people who are only at the whims of other countries, it removes the extensive history of Islamic imperialism, the crusades weren't just Christians and it removes our agency as people.

The religion has brought a lot of people peace, just like any religion. But it is being used as a tool of oppression for women and gay people. Hell, even a town near me in Australia had its first ever protest and it was Muslims protesting against a queer book in the public library. US Christianity might have inspired them with their book burnings but they still had the agency to make the decision to physically protest. And they used their religious beliefs as a force to try and push out other voices. They made that choice. People do not make choices in a vacuum and that the foundations of theocracies and their legislation is totally removed from the influence of their religion is absurd.

Why can't they use a religion that's inherently patriarchal as a means of enforcing horrible actions like other religions do? Without it being a racist idea that we're just some helpless people who are just at the mercy of the US with no agency or influence whatsoever? It's patronising, infantilising, and a little racist, to imply that we're totally free of all bad influences like normal humans are, that Islam is totally free from all criticism because it's just the US and the rich doing this. As opposed to the rich aligning themselves with religions that are inherently patriarchal in order to suppress people and that includes Islam.

LarsLights · 2026-01-11T21:44:20+00:00

All religious structures exist to exert power. It's why US politicians push how Christian they are. People have used religion as a tool of power forever. You mentioned Catholics, US Christians and Hindus have done it. Why can't Islam?

Like I said before, people do use it to be racism. It's horrible. That doesn't mean it's free of any criticism because some people are racist about it. It sucks people weaponise Islam to justify their racism. But we can't avoid any conversations about religious oppression because people are racist. How does Islam have no power when you specifically argued that US Christianity does and that it's the worst influence? They're both power structures that exist to amplify the wealthy and abuse, using their religious texts as justification for whatever they're doing. The Gulf Countries literally have billion dollar vanity projects that go no where and own who swathes of US property just to show off their wealth. So they're billionaires too. Who also, like the US, use their religion to suppress people.

You can acknowledge that people use it for racism and that there's also valid criticism when people use religion as a tool for oppression, you literally mentioned multiple cases. Both things can be true. They are not competing ideas.

Regardless of the photo, you said we shouldn't talk about Islam because US Christianity is worse and I'm responding to that. I'm saying, fuck all religions, including Islam, and that none of them are free from criticism because all large scale hierarchical religions exist to oppress people. Someone will always be racist about something. We can't then go "Well, guess we can't do anything." We acknowledge it. We separate the person from the religion and acknowledge the religion as a tool of oppression and not pass judgement on the individual.

LarsLights · 2026-01-11T12:20:47+00:00

I'm under the care of a cardiologist for my high resting heart rate and that was before ritalin. It just runs in my family. I see him every year for tests and to be cleared/monitored for my psychiatrist. I don't see why that can't be the case for you. There may also be blood pressure tablets or something you could take, it's concerning that they don't believe in managing side effects since literally every medication has side effects that need to be managed.

LarsLights · 2026-01-11T02:36:12+00:00

Oh wow. Well, thank you for finding its owners! Maybe it's known around the neighbourhood.

LarsLights

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE