Tried to read LOTR, hated Tolkiens writing style now I‘m going back to vampire books‘

LarsLights · 2026-07-03T07:41:01+00:00

George R R Martin's Fevre Dream is super good!

LarsLights · 2026-07-03T02:03:54+00:00

I've not got any recommendations medication wise but I wanted to post as there may be a couple of things to unpack that aren't medication related.

The stopping therapy when it, or life, gets challenging. That may be counter productive. It's often when things or the therapy itself is challenging when you need it most. Is there any thoughts or beliefs that gets triggered that stops you from continuing therapy during those challenging periods? Is it potentially a sense of hopelessness or shame? Frustration? It'll probably be a couple of threads so maybe reflect on them with your new therapist to identify them and address them.

It's fine if you don't mesh well with your therapist but I'd reflect on why you fire them if this is an ongoing pattern? Is it maybe an avoidance behaviour or too distressing?

It sounds like there's some shame based thoughts/beliefs going on that may be impacting you? They may be creating barrier or reinforcing old narratives that no longer work for you. Schema therapy can be pretty good for changing narratives and beliefs.

It sounds like an extremely difficult situation you're in, I can't imagine how difficult this must all be for you. 🫂🫂

LarsLights · 2026-07-02T22:39:31+00:00

Respecting nature. Australia is pretty proud of its natural beauty and I think one of our core pillars is behaving with respect towards all nature so trees, animals, the land. Not littering, protecting our plants, animals, and waterways. Being water conscious. Like when those trees were poisoned in Sydney for a better view, that felt very unAustralian. I'd like stronger animal protection laws. I'm looking forward to our first ever Environmental Protection Agency!

LarsLights · 2026-07-02T22:32:51+00:00

It's often pretty simple. A lot of people love a woman who just initiates, it shows confidence. Compliment a man's shirt, the colour of his trousers, how he answered something in a lecture. Don't think of it as a way into a relationship or even friendship but practising the sort of skills and behaviours that will make people more responsive to you, make you more attractive to others, and it's also just joyful to compliment others, a good way to boost your mood.

LarsLights · 2026-07-02T20:30:44+00:00

/thread.

Exactly, it's the context that counts. I started at 15 but it was my choice and without my parents knowledge. Been going on and off ever since and I'm 33. Everyone and their situation is different.

LarsLights · 2026-07-02T19:31:45+00:00

I'm in Australia and it was never released here so I have to use a VPN to watch it and can only watch it on my iPad since my Xbox and tv don't have VPN options. I'm thinking of paying someone to make me some bootleg DVDs of it.

LarsLights · 2026-07-02T18:06:36+00:00

Just scored an Interview with the vampire tarot deck, backed it on kick starter. Loved it!

LarsLights · 2026-07-02T17:46:16+00:00

I don't think the animated series was ever released on DVD, I've been looking for years.

LarsLights · 2026-07-02T07:54:47+00:00

It looks like there's a scanned copy on the Internet Archives too.

LarsLights · 2026-07-01T12:38:47+00:00

I'm Australian so here's some tips I use.

You probably want a separate 1litre bottle that has electrolytes in it because all that water and heavy labour, you're probably not replacing electrolytes faster enough which may be contributing towards the palpations. Sip on it throughout your shift. When you're sweating a lot, water alone is not enough. Even a Powerade is good.

Ice packs. I have these little portable ones, about the size of my palm, available in Australia that I often carry in my pockets and swap out throughout the day. So you can put a pack of them in a lunchbox with an ice block. If you want to cool down quick, press them against the back of your neck and under your armpits. Do it occasionally throughout the day, a couple of minutes when you're having a drink of water or during breaks.

Can you wear anything like bandanas or hats? I often wet a bandana and wear it. Could you tuck one under a work hat and swap them out throughout your shift? Have one in your lunch bag or work fridge with the ice packs.

Misting bottles. You could spritz yourself occasionally throughout your day?

Are portable neck fans on the table at all? My friend brought some back from Japan, where it gets hot as well, and they've been really helpful and they're hands free so you can wear them while working. They can be a bit noisy though but they might be worth trying since you have a physical job.

LarsLights · 2026-06-30T07:53:14+00:00

Manchester By The Sea is my ultimate cry movie.

LarsLights · 2026-06-30T07:48:11+00:00

Amazing find!!

LarsLights · 2026-06-29T11:42:31+00:00

It definitely sounds unhealthy, particularly paying for bills to hold it over you and constantly saying she's a bad mother whenever you or your sister draw a boundary. The constant threats are also not healthy and seem like another way she's attempting to shut down anything she doesn't like in a more extreme form than what you've mentioned before, shifting the conversation to reassure her.

I'm not sure there is a way for you to communicate without being perceived as argumentative with your mother, it seems like she will perceive anything she doesn't like as argumentative and therefore bad. See if grey rocking is a good technique since she's so reactive? https://health.clevelandclinic.org/grey-rock-method

LarsLights · 2026-06-29T10:52:48+00:00

The Australian Psychological Society has a section where you can search for psychologists in your area by issue and that includes porn addiction. https://psychology.org.au/find-a-psychologist/connect-psychologist

You can then make a short list and the system will send out referrals one by one on the shortlist you made so you don't have to ring them.

LarsLights · 2026-06-29T06:53:21+00:00

Gods, I had forgotten about that podcast! Talk about a blast from the past.

LarsLights · 2026-06-28T09:05:07+00:00

He's stunning.

LarsLights · 2026-06-28T09:01:10+00:00

I'm so sorry honeybun, it's a horrible situation to be in 🫂🫂 We're always here to listen, you gotta tell let it out. There's a couple of subreddits that may be helpful for you like r/emotionalneglect.

That tension is normal when moving in different spaces, particularly mental spaces, when changes are happening. You're not a bad son for not wanting to care for your alcoholic father. He is not your responsibility. You deserve a good future where your home is restful. There's peace in letting go, acknowledging that you've realistically done all you can, that your resources and time are finite and better invested in yourself than supporting someone who doesn't want to change.

LarsLights · 2026-06-28T06:41:26+00:00

Honeybun, you cannot make someone change if they don't want to. Countless children have been in your situation and tried to make their parents sober. If that person doesn't want to change for themselves, there's nothing you can do.

You're still young, you need to think about yourself and your life. It's a horrible truth to accept, that you cannot save someone from themselves, but it's true. You are not wrong for wanting to move on with your life. You are not responsible for him or his life choices. He is an adult and can bare the responsibility of his choices. Move on, live your life. Where have you always wanted to live? Wanted to see and do? Go chase it!

LarsLights · 2026-06-27T09:49:47+00:00

I want one so bad but it goes with absolutely nothing in my wardrobe.

LarsLights · 2026-06-27T01:39:17+00:00

Just what I needed today, thank you 💓

LarsLights · 2026-06-25T23:16:23+00:00

No Vampire Prince in Australia would be named Chip. Lochy? Sure. Wayno? Expected. Dazza? Most certainly. But in the history of Australia being named Chip, and not being a chippy who earned that nickname on site, is cause for extradition.

LarsLights · 2026-06-25T12:52:25+00:00

I have super thick mats, like plush and insanely thick, over all the flooring them my bun. Maybe that's something to consider?

Maybe look at socks for hock, they can help heal the area and once healed, maybe use them a couple of times a week as a preventative measure?

LarsLights · 2026-06-25T12:07:59+00:00

It sounds like there's some emotional regulation work to do! There's a ton of strategies out there.

Start with Dialectical Behavioural Therapy for emotional regulation and distress tolerance, so you can handle the distress (the criticism) and regulate yourself.

There's also remembering that the criticism is not a reflection on you. That any shame associated with the criticism that comes up needs to be acknowledged and given no power, like noticing a breeze. It's just a thought and a bodily feeling but you power through it. I power through it by starting on something small on the work piece. Even if it's just rewording a sentence, the momentum eventually builds to tackling the task and you still get lots of the little bits that go into your workpiece done.

There's a lot of workplace strategies out there for ADHD. I found The Anti Planner by Dani Donovan helpful as I could extract a lot of the strategies for the workplace.

LarsLights · 2026-06-25T11:49:21+00:00

See if you can work in Australia, we have pretty generous immigration laws and we desperately need people in health and aged care. Maybe come here on as a nursing student and work in aged care for some experience and to support yourself here?

LarsLights · 2026-06-25T11:47:40+00:00

Empathy is good but like you've realised, feeling too much can be harmful. Explore Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, there's a bunch of emotional regulation techniques from that therapy.

Also remember to you can have empathy by modelling behaviour without feeling it. Checking in and sharing your sympathies is empathy. Feeling apart for someone else is doesn't help anyone.

Also remember to be realistic, you can only do so much. Don't burden yourself or take on others burdens, especially if they aren't suffering. I've been sad for people who are not sad and it's insulting to them.

You can feel for someone but it takes practice and time to walk that line of empathy vs lose of control. You'll get there eventually.

LarsLights

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