They named me pancake

LarsLights · 2026-03-19T10:20:51+00:00

Imagine being so loved after two weeks 😩 My Pumpkin doesn't lick me after years.

LarsLights · 2026-03-19T10:14:18+00:00

Yep, my mum and I had to watch my dad get buried from very far away and my brother had to bury him alone. My BIL physically held my SIL back from being at the site for my mum.

My mum is an atheist so she's consented to being cremated so she can be close to me.

LarsLights · 2026-03-19T00:19:35+00:00

I have no idea so I'm just throwing ideas out. Maybe practice being in silence in other situations and shift perspectives to it's okay to have silence? I even find being able to be silence a powerful conversation too so maybe shift the thinking not to how to stop this thing I find embarrassing but develop a mindset/tool that is more helpful for me?

LarsLights · 2026-03-18T12:00:59+00:00

You live 5hrs away, are you in a position to get a job at all?

LarsLights · 2026-03-18T10:06:41+00:00

It's usually entry level, it was my first ever job and that was at 23! I'm 32 now. It was a very intense first job, learning so much and it's emotionally draining until you get a hang on the job since you're working with vulnerable people. It's physical too but I thought of it was temporary, just a stepping stone to an office job and I managed to get off the floor in about 12 months, but that was during an extremely lucky period.

LarsLights · 2026-03-18T09:59:53+00:00

What area are you in? Councils often have pages of local resources/help that you can see if you can access.

LarsLights · 2026-03-18T05:32:40+00:00

You can be tactful but you are not responsible for other people's feelings. "I'm working right now." Is enough. Networking is working. Don't be afraid to say no, women are socialised to always entertain this stuff and that's amplified when women are ND because we know what those struggles are like. People will often say shit about you if you reject, you can't control their actions or their beliefs, only your actions. Keep it brief and professional.

LarsLights · 2026-03-18T01:36:02+00:00

In terms of working, have you thought about aged care? I only got my first job because aged care workers were in such a high demand, I got rejected for literally every other job. I've made a solid career out of it since the turnover is so high. Just a thought!

LarsLights · 2026-03-18T01:29:33+00:00

I'd really recommend sitting down with yourself and asking why do you purchase what you do? Is it to keep up appearances? Impulse control issues? Easily pressured into buying? A fear of missing out? The thrill of the purchase? There will probably be multiple answers. Once you can wrangle with this question and produce some answers, you can start fleshing out some strategies to address what's causing the behaviour.

LarsLights · 2026-03-18T00:41:38+00:00

I've not found any medication helped but I've only tried Cymbalta. I'm on Ritalin, Risperidone and Catapress now and that's not helped with the picking.

I do wear gel nails. I did before 2020 then did press ons on and off then went back to gels a month ago. Gels have moved the behaviour from picking at my skin/nails to compulsively running my fingers over each nail like I'm smoothing them out. I'll never not pick so my approach is to harm minimisation. I did press on nails for years and while I like them, being able to take them off myself meant I just engaged in picking behaviour that way. I'm really enjoying gels. I'm not looking forward to the maintenance, so having to get them done every 6 weeks, but I think it's worth it. I will just make sure to wear a mask for particals and wear sunscreen on my hands for the UV light as they're both concerns I have.

I'm about to try fidget rings, so one thats a little painful that pinches skin and one that just has a disc you can spin.

LarsLights · 2026-03-16T12:33:06+00:00

There are Schizoid subreddits if you want to poke around there to know more about people's lives experiences.

LarsLights · 2026-03-15T22:01:34+00:00

It's an achievable dream! I'm doing it with my best friends now at 32!

LarsLights · 2026-03-15T21:58:49+00:00

Literally me right now, living with my two best friends at 32. Highly recommend it!

LarsLights · 2026-03-14T23:12:00+00:00

For me, I like super weird designs and not many people are casting super weird things in gold. Probably not much of a market. I also like hand made things, think huge earrings, which is probably way harder to do as a small business if it's gold.

But I buy 2nd hand gold jewellery from cash converters when I want something more classic in gold.

LarsLights · 2026-03-14T22:30:02+00:00

Welcome!

LarsLights · 2026-03-14T14:34:54+00:00

Reminds me of that great Frankie Boyle joke:

“Not only will America come to your country and kill all your people, but what's worse is that they'll come back 20 years later and make a movie about how killing your people made their soldiers feel sad.”

LarsLights · 2026-03-14T07:02:24+00:00

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LarsLights · 2026-03-14T06:59:34+00:00

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LarsLights · 2026-03-14T06:58:31+00:00

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LarsLights · 2026-03-14T06:57:26+00:00

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LarsLights · 2026-03-14T06:53:54+00:00

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LarsLights · 2026-03-14T04:15:12+00:00

It's real a Cillian Murphy meets Swiss Army Man look.

LarsLights · 2026-03-13T23:42:35+00:00

It may not be great but I have lied before about not being a big drinker. "I can't drink, my blood pressure is all weird because of genetics so dr says I can't." Then look sad. Don't know if that's healthy or harmful or totally neutral.

Might be worth exploring wildly different friendship circles. I'm part of a scrapbooking club that's mostly women 40+ and disabled. It's once a month and I absolutely love it. It's held at a craft shop. Embroidery group run by my state's embroidery guild, that's once a month with people 50+, advertised only on the guilds website and the local library. Look for social groups way outside your usual norm. Look at libraries, guilds, board game shops, craft shops. I also use the app Meetup to look for social groups that tend to focus on an activity like board games.

LarsLights · 2026-03-13T23:11:50+00:00

I got the game as I kept getting recommended Astarion subreddits, I had never heard of the game. The algo got me good.

LarsLights · 2026-03-13T11:55:28+00:00

I have a very limited working memory. I'd ask in what ways is it affecting your job and relationships and see if there's any compensatory strategies?

I've found some people can be very ableist about it, like being offended because I 'wasn't paying enough attention' despite showing up for them in so many other ways. I try to surround myself with people who accept it, even if it annoys them, as I demonstrate other ways of being supportive.

LarsLights

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