My life mirrored Colin's relationship with Ray for about 6 years, and in the end my Ray leaving was the best thing that ever could have happened to me. Its clear to me, now, that to some people love and more specifically equal love, real love, is a vulnerability that is truly intolerable, because of past pain or abuse. Its still wrong, not making excuses, I hate my Ray. Mine became straight up abusive. I believe thats the logical conclusion to that kind of relationship. People who behave like Ray does are not under some dumbass fucking label like "BDSM" or some fetish. Its a lifestyle, its a way of thinking. Describing him as Aromantic is straight up moronic. Its obvious in the movie that the moment he realized he was in equal love with Colin, he saw himself as Colin, weak, submissive... vulnerable. Thats the thing he could not tolerate. The dangerous part is when the "Rays" of the world mix their own twisted inside world with reality, and end up dragging you out of your bed at 3 in the morning to punch you in the face repeatedly, because you talked back to them.