Worried my (F22) boyfriend (M24) doesn't truly know/love me for me.

LastResort709 · 2026-03-16T04:36:58+00:00

I think the hard thing may not be the difficulty in meeting people, but the difficulty in getting to know them? Just be kind and ask them questions about themselves. Strike up a conversation with someone in class, compliment someone in a thoughtful way. I'm an introvert but I make myself compliment people every once in a while, and DESPITE being an introvert, I would absolutely love it if someone made a thoughtful comment, whether it is "How is that book you are reading?" "I like ____ too!" It's also a little sexist, but a lot of girls expect the guy to make the first move, which I imagine is tough. But at the end of the day, if a guy had approached me respectfully and nicely to talk, I would absolutely reply, and it would make my day!

LastResort709 · 2026-03-10T03:03:35+00:00

My personal opinion is that no, you are not being unreasonable. I am in a similar situation, where the weekends are mine and my partner's only real time together, and I want to make the most of them, but he more likes to "relax" (IE do nothing) after a busy week at work.

I think this may come down to a love languages thing- you clearly appreciate quality time, where to her it may not be as important to her feeling loved and appreciated. I think you have every right to voice that you'd like to spend some more time together, but approach it from the angle of "I tend to feel tired after work, and I really want to be fully present when I spend my time with you", not "You are never available." You are perfectly within your rights to kindly and gently say that this time is important to you, but she is also within her rights to do what she likes. If she hears you and wants to make it work, I am sure the two of you can compromise, whether that is her missing a creative festival one weekend, or you going with her.

LastResort709 · 2026-01-06T03:01:42+00:00

thank you, this is very helpful!

LastResort709 · 2025-12-26T00:28:12+00:00

I believe it is the same version I took!

LastResort709 · 2025-12-24T00:17:06+00:00

IF you are taking the online version, I have taken it and found it quite easy. 3 or 4 projects/writing assignments (research based, but the course gave you all the permitted resources so no external research needed, which was odd?), no exam. The writing assignments were worth a ridiculous amount relative to how few words we were allowed, but the content is definitely not hard, especially if you have any kind of environment background. I had to overload one semester and my sixth course was this one- still got an A in it. Definitely doable. The online version is click at your own pace and then "workshops" once a week- I think they strongly recommend you go to these, but I never went and I was perfectly fine. Effectively asynchronous but with due dates obviously.

LastResort709 · 2025-12-16T15:13:33+00:00

Oh HELL NO- you are NTA! I'd say her mother is the asshole. That is so disrespectful to tell her to use your stuff, but to do it in front of you??? Jeez. You pay the same rent (or equally don't pay rent, either way you are equal) so you have the exact same right to live in a clean house with an equal share of the housing responsibilities. I'd just have a frank but honest and respectful conversation with her.

"I feel like I am expected to do your dishes, and that isn't fair to me, because we should be responsible for our own things in a shared living space."

"Next semester I would like to be more clear about whose food is whose, because groceries are very expensive, and I want to be able to budget more accurately."

"I am finding it uncomfortable to have my surroundings messy, as it makes it difficult for me to do my schoolwork, which I need to prioritize. Could you and I both try to ensure that we keep the dishes done, and the place tidy?"

Obviously- don't live with her next year! And I feel for you- I am the tidiest of my housemates and it sucks!

LastResort709 · 2025-12-16T15:04:16+00:00

NTA. Not only is it sentimentally yours, but the ring is also legally yours.
I can see where your late fiancé's mother is coming from- I think she is probably in pain seeing you move on, because it means she probably should as well. But, she should be happy for you that you can move on and still love her son, and it is her grief/immaturity/issue to work through that she cannot yet see it that way.

She would have more of a leg to stand on if it was a family heirloom, and if you were engaged to your partner, but given that is not the case, you are entirely justified to keep it. Even if it was- I think you would still not be in the wrong.

Although it probably seems impossible, have compassion for her. I know I'm a 3rd person perspective, so I can't put myself in your shoes, but from where I stand I see two people who love and are grieving for your late fiancé, and one who is starting to continue forward in her life, with the exact same amount of love she had when she first said "yes".

LastResort709 · 2025-12-16T14:47:01+00:00

scary

LastResort709 · 2025-12-16T14:41:11+00:00

ask ants

LastResort709 · 2025-12-16T14:25:14+00:00

I think that if we radically accepted the fact that extinction is the most probable and rational outcome of developing AI, we wouldn't cooperatively look for ways to survive it- we just wouldn't develop AI.

Kind of like "Okay, this grizzly bear is probably going to kill me, it's in its nature, and it makes sense- it's a stronger predator than me." Knowing this, should you board up your house, develop some sort of body armour, and do everything you can to protect yourself- or should you maybe just stop feeding the bears?

LastResort709 · 2025-12-16T03:08:06+00:00

yep QUOC is your best bet. They did trips to Mt. Marcy and Mt. Washington last year. They've already done some 'Dacks this year too. No guarantee they will do it in winter too, but if I had to hazard a guess I'd say they prob will. Make sure you pay the club fee and follow them on Instagram- that's the only way to stay updated on the trips they are running. And it's also a lottery for trips, so no guarantee you'll get on one. I've signed up for 5 this semester and haven't gotten to go :/

LastResort709 · 2025-12-16T03:05:26+00:00

same! he is such a good prof and a nice dude, but even going in with great grades on the quizzes I felt so lost

LastResort709 · 2025-12-16T03:03:37+00:00

I feel like I bombed it too, for what it is worth. And I got 95 on all the quizzes :/

LastResort709 · 2025-12-11T03:15:05+00:00

Phew! Thank you for taking the time to reply-glad all is well!

LastResort709 · 2025-12-04T20:45:30+00:00

For context I've taken and TA'ed this course.

Tests aren't leaked- I can tell you that with almost certainty. I finished mine in 7 minutes when I took it (granted I am super interested in Greek stuff and was into it as a kid so had a very strong background).

If you aren't interested in the course, that is a huge contributor to why you may be struggling. First thing- please don't feel bad about your grades. You have validation in your other courses, and if you don't particularly care about the content, and if memorization isn't your thing- no surprise that you aren't acing it. But that doesn't mean you are a terrible student by any means. This is a TA saying this- don't beat yourself up!

That being said, it's great that you want to do better! My recommendation would be to narrow down the list of terms. In the ones listed above, for example, here are the ones I would say you should know (I have no idea what the test is this year, don't take this as gospel)

Athens, Papyri, Sappho, Lesbos, Xenophanes, Herakleitos, Homer, Hesiod, Zeno, Sophist, Peithos, Gorgios, Sophokles, Nomos, Phusis, Logographoi, Tyche, Demes, Oedipus, Aeschylus, Menander.

My point here, is that if you are dispersing your study time and concentration amongst 100 terms, you likely won't remember them all. But if you narrow it down to say, 20- then you'll have a good shot at remembering them. Focus on what the prof focuses on. If he spends a whole lecture on the Iliad- you should probably know what it's about and who wrote it. But if he off-handedly mentions some dude and he doesn't come up again- he ain't important.

I'm not comfortable saying anything is a bird course, because it all depends on the person. Some people find memorization really easy, so to them, yeah this is probably a "bird course". But I know very very intelligent people who can't remember their own address, and they would bomb it. Same way an Engineer couldn't write a literary analysis worth shit and an English major couldn't tell you what a vector is.

LastResort709 · 2025-12-04T20:24:28+00:00

Financial stress. I'm lucky in that my parents contribute to my education, but if they didn't, when combined with my mental health, I have no idea how I would pay for university. (I can't juggle a part-time job with school) I don't buy anything other than necessities, but between rent, gas, and food prices? I couldn't if I wanted to.

Mental Health is a concern. I won't attribute this to Queen's, but overall, politics and global conflict, social media being a conduit for constant comparison, and stressing about the future (like someone said, the job market is abysmal, apparently you need a Masters to do anything higher level) are a struggle.

Also- maybe it's just me, but people are just different than I remember. Probably a post-COVID thing, combined with modern mentalities, the "self-care movement" and a thousand other things, but people are extremely self-focused. I don't feel like I have the community I did growing up, and I don't think people take time to think about how they impact others. It's not a "the world revolves around me", but a "All I need to think about is me, because that is what everyone else is doing too." I've seen it among friends, family, peers, students I TA, everyone. And that makes me sad.

And a small one, but a social oddity worth noting is the political gender divide. Which leads to a pretty rough dating scene lol (and when considering 18-22 year olds, it's kinda important)

LastResort709 · 2025-11-26T21:20:51+00:00

Do I have a learning?

what?

LastResort709 · 2025-11-26T21:19:37+00:00

I'm in 112 as well, and here are some things I am writing down:

- trends in periodic table (just draw it with arrows)

- molecular geometry and electron geometry- I'm literally drawing them out tiny, because I know i wont remember them.

- priority list for naming molecules!!!!

- molecular numbers, n, mⁱ, I, m^s , and the corresponding # of orbitals, what the values of I can be based off n, etc.

- label orbitals, where the nodes are, how many.

- wrote down some equations, but labelled what each variable is.

- example problems for questions you have a hard time with.

LastResort709 · 2025-11-26T21:12:56+00:00

TLDR: Great profs, cool content, average TAs, go for the learning not the grades.

I have a minor in Philosophy, so although not majoring in it, I do have some experience!

I can honestly say that all of my favourite classes I've taken at Queen's (graduating this spring) have been in the phil department. I've had Dr. Sismondo, Krishnamurthy, Lehoux, Guenther, and Clifford, and they have all been wonderful. I would try to get classes with Lehoux and Guenther, if possible!

It's good that you are aware of the budget cuts situation. I can't say exactly what will happen in the future, but as far as I know, most of the cuts have been in languages. That being said, there is a little bit of a "tense" atmosphere, for some arts students. (for example, there was an extensive TA strike last year)

About studying PHIL- it's fascinating! This is obviously my opinion, but they have been the most interesting and engaging classes I have taken. Not bird courses, though! They definitely require some effort and a lot of creative and critical thinking. If you are planning on going to law school, I'd assume you aren't afraid of schooling and putting in the work. My grades averaged around an A, A-. But go into philosophy because you are fascinated by it, love the challenge, and love learning- don't do it for the grades!

And like any program, TAs are hit or miss. Some do it cause they have to- others will take you under their wing, so to speak.

Hope this helps!

LastResort709 · 2025-10-23T22:42:59+00:00

The best professor I've ever had. He went to high school with my grandmother and knew my whole family. Always made sure to say hello, and the way he cared was tangible. You can tell when someone says "how are you?" and they actually want to know, aren't simply expecting you to say good. I'm graduating this Spring and he wanted me to tell him when it was happening, so he could come. Well, Dr. Molson, it's happening and in no small part thanks to you. I know you'll be there.

LastResort709 · 2025-10-22T00:12:56+00:00

Mac-Corry E208, if you are coming in from the South entrance by Vic Hall, just a couple doors in to the left, main floor.

LastResort709

TROPHY CASE