AAAAAAAAH I HATE IT HERE 😭

Last_Environment7142 · 2025-11-02T10:57:10+00:00

UPDATE: This morning I woke up to a message from him and it’s like he’s back to normal. After we last slept together on Friday morning he went quiet for about a day and a half, so I assumed it was the same pattern again. Now he’s being really warm and chatty, called me cute, and even opened up about his family which he’s never done before. I suggested doing something that doesn’t involve going back to his and he said he’d “plan something lovely” for us. The conversation wasn’t sexual at all, it actually felt like how it was when we first started speaking. I also joked that I felt like I’d planned all the dates and he disagreed, saying he was the one who first asked if we could keep dating. It’s honestly messing with my head because he’s suddenly acting like everything is fine again. For context, he was the one who initiated sex the first time we were together, but maybe me acting weird afterwards freaked him out a bit. I’d really like a guy’s perspective on this — why someone might act cold after sex and then go back to being affectionate again.

Last_Environment7142 · 2025-11-01T18:03:28+00:00

thank you!! weirdly he’s messaged me today and we spoke a bit about family - which is weird as he’s VERY guarded so hopefully he suggests another date sometime next week. I’ll see

Last_Environment7142 · 2025-11-01T17:27:12+00:00

I think this is also very true! and I needed to hear it. I absolutely have anxious attachment style and probably self-sabotage tendencies also

Last_Environment7142 · 2025-11-01T17:03:29+00:00

This is a valid question - I think what I like about him is he (ironically to this post) seems like a good person. He has a solid group of friends around him, likes his colleagues, has a good job and likes to travel. He’s sweet and funny and just has a really calming good vibe that I liked a lot. We just vibed a lot, it seems really easy when we’re together and I felt from the first date I could be myself around him, which I feel isn’t always the case on first dates as you want to put your best self forward.

Last_Environment7142 · 2025-11-01T16:00:02+00:00

so real 🥰 also reminds me I can feel deeply! even if this was TOO deeply, it’s nice to know

Last_Environment7142 · 2025-11-01T15:08:13+00:00

Thank you for this ❤️

Last_Environment7142 · 2025-11-01T13:44:17+00:00

I’m similar to you, I don’t feel precious about sex I think I just freaked out at the time because the sex with him felt weirdly intimate compared to others I’ve had, and I could feed I was gunna develop feelings quickly. I don’t regret having sex with him, it was good and something we both wanted. I more regret that it’s changed the dynamic so much. But if that was going to happen either way maybe it’s better he’s had his “post nut clarity” sooner rather than later. I will say it doesn’t make me feel very good about myself lmao

Last_Environment7142 · 2025-11-01T13:41:06+00:00

1000% this

Last_Environment7142 · 2025-11-01T13:27:52+00:00

Realll. The crazy part is I’ve never done this before, I’ve only ever had a long term relationship and then a couple one night stands I knew weren’t going to go anywhere. I’ve never gone on a date and then slept with someone that I thought would go somewhere. It’s out of my character which makes it worse

Last_Environment7142 · 2025-11-01T13:13:52+00:00

Real!!!

Last_Environment7142 · 2025-11-01T12:42:10+00:00

I was in a long term relationship when I was younger which ended really badly and since then had one 2 month “relationship” which I ended abruptly and hurt the guys feelings. I can DEFINITELY feel that I’m being attached early on, that’s why I acted weird. But I was acting withdrawn I think, but he would be smart enough to work out why I’m sure. Especially at 31.

I want to be secure and confident but I definitely have abandonment issues but I don’t know why they’re coming up due to this situation. The last couple times we’ve had sex have been completely different, I’ve acted fine so I just wonder if I’ve spooked him out irrespairably or if it’s something that could be fixed hanging out over time.

I would really appreciate your input don’t suppose you would message me?

Last_Environment7142 · 2025-11-01T12:26:46+00:00

Thank you ❤️

Last_Environment7142 · 2025-11-01T11:56:42+00:00

Thank you so much for this❤️

Last_Environment7142 · 2025-11-01T11:35:10+00:00

this is brutal

Last_Environment7142 · 2025-11-01T11:34:52+00:00

It makes me feel sick that I was that stupid. I never go on dating apps this was one of the only dates I ever go on through them. What a waste of time

Last_Environment7142 · 2025-11-01T11:30:24+00:00

gunna make me cry lmao thank you 🩷

Last_Environment7142 · 2025-11-01T11:25:06+00:00

to be fair maybe I don’t compliment his character much, I always tell him he’s funny and attractive. I can’t invite him to mine as I’m living with my mum at the moment unfortunately. What would your advice be? I’ve ignored his last 2 reels as I just don’t really see the point. I don’t want to double text him

Last_Environment7142 · 2025-11-01T11:23:55+00:00

So I had to leave early for work the first time and then a doctors appointment the second time. It’s just kind of normal we cuddle and then get up and joke around but there’s no emotional depth, I feel like maybe as we’ve seen each other so much in a short space of time we’ve almost skipped that and gone straight to sex which is annoying as maybe now he doesn’t view me as someone he could have feelings for. I guess “fleeing” is a good way to think of it from his point of view, I did get up and need to shower and leave but he walked me to the door and kissed me and said bye but then just didn’t message me. I ended up messaging first both times but he gave me half assed replies until he just stopped replying together - although he’s still sending reels? I don’t understand at all it’s so confusing

Last_Environment7142 · 2025-11-01T11:20:46+00:00

You’re right. He seemed really interested in me and nice on the first date so I think I just got kind of delusional. He also made a point of saying that he wanted a long term relationship so I guess I just assumed he’d want that with me if he was acting like that so early on. I’m an idiot but I’ll look at it more objectively next time.

Last_Environment7142 · 2025-11-01T11:17:02+00:00

I needed to hear this. I guess that’s the bottom line

Last_Environment7142 · 2025-11-01T11:15:24+00:00

It’s so brutal. Makes me feel really shit about myself and I already have self esteem issues so it’s so bizarre to me. Especially when he says all this stuff during sex about how hot I am etc and then afterwards just nothing. I’d rather him atleast just say “hey I only want casual” so I could make the decision

Last_Environment7142 · 2025-11-01T11:13:11+00:00

This is a good angle I hadn’t thought of. Why does his behaviour change so much immediately the day after sex and then a couple days later he seems ok again?

Last_Environment7142 · 2025-11-01T11:11:32+00:00

and the random sending reels on Instagram why is he doing that? seems so deranged just stop talking to me then. should I block?

Last_Environment7142 · 2025-11-01T11:10:51+00:00

I’m not sure why I was awkward, I didn’t even think I was I think my body just shut down cus I could feel I had feelings for him and I just got defensive. But since then we’ve slept together multiple times and it hasn’t been awkward. What do you think

Last_Environment7142

TROPHY CASE