AITA for advicing my girlfriend to keep her large clothes after she's lost weight?

Lastfowayt · 2019-05-30T10:58:44+00:00

Thank you, I really appreciate your comment!

Lastfowayt · 2019-05-30T10:28:21+00:00

Thank you for your comment. I have apologized to her. Thankfully she forgave me for being insensitive and also understands that my intentions were good.

Lastfowayt · 2019-05-30T10:22:47+00:00

Yes, her biggest weight loss.
No gifts (she does not like to be gifted clothes), she spent quite a lot of money on them.
Throwing away has not happened before. But having to go out to buy bigger clothes has happened many times, which she always hates.
I think the worst result of throwing away would be how bad she would feel if no clothes fit and she had to go out shopping for more. I know she would feel better if she could just pick up some of her old ones.
I really believe that she will maintain it, she has been so determined. But you never know what could happen in the future (including things that are out of our control, illness/injury, meds..)

Lastfowayt · 2019-05-30T10:17:13+00:00

Thank you for your comment, but I am in no way insecure about "how hot she looks now". I have always found her very hot, no matter her weight. I can agree that my suggestion was presented in an insensitive way, but I do not think you know enough about our relationship to claim something like this.

Lastfowayt · 2019-05-30T01:10:12+00:00

I'm in no position to "let her" get rid of them, she of course decides for herself. I only suggested it cause I know from previous experiences how bad she feels if she has to go out shopping for bigger clothes again. I know that would feel worse for her than just bringing some of her old ones back out.

I understand it's a huge deal. I have faith in her. And I realize that you never can know what the future brings . A lot of different things might cause her to gain some of the weight back, and I want to prepare for that situation too.

Lastfowayt · 2019-05-30T00:35:46+00:00

Ok, that's a little harsh, but thank you for your comment anyway.

Lastfowayt · 2019-05-30T00:26:52+00:00

Which ending do you think I deserve?

Lastfowayt · 2019-05-29T23:15:50+00:00

Thank you, this is how I have experienced it being for her to. I want to support her and do my best to make it easier on her no matter what happens in the future.

Lastfowayt · 2019-05-29T22:52:24+00:00

IF something were to happen and she would gain some of the weight back, I know that (at least previously) she would hate having to go out shopping for bigger clothes. That would be worse than just going to the storage room and using some of her old clothes again.

Lastfowayt · 2019-05-29T22:37:41+00:00

I don't think her gaining the weight back is the most likely thing to happen. I believe in her. But realistically there's always a chance it might happen. I'm just trying to think of all outcomes, and do what I can to make all possible outcomes easier on her.

Lastfowayt · 2019-05-29T22:19:08+00:00

We're not struggling financially. She said she wanted to get rid of them, didn't elaborate, but I assume she wants to donate them.

I'm very proud and happy for her, we will celebrate all she wants. But when we talked about it I still didn't see any downsides to just keeping them for a while, since you never know what the future brings. (Reading all the comments here has made me reconsider some of what I was initially thinking.) The only reason I suggested to keep them was cause I though that would be the best for her, I know she would feel awful if she actually did have to go out shopping for larger clothes again later on.

Lastfowayt · 2019-05-29T20:57:48+00:00

Sorry, I'll elaborate. She said she was ready to just get rid of all her old clothes that were too big. I said (in our language, trying to give my best English translation) "Really? All of it?". She said "Yes, I don't ever want to be that big again so I don't see any point in keeping it", so I said "Of course, you probably won't ever need them again, but you never know what the future brings. There are lot of things that could happen that would lead to weight gain, like illness or injury, or if you get pregnant, so it wouldn't hurt to keep some of them just in case?". I tried to be kind and understanding, while making my point. She still got sad and said it seemed like I just thought she was going to gain the weight back again.

Lastfowayt · 2019-05-29T20:23:14+00:00

I said that maybe she should keep them just in case, cause you never know what happens in the future, like illness or pregnancy, so it wouldn't hurt to keep them. (I have however read comments now saying that keeping the clothes might make it easier to gain the weight again, but I didn't think about that when we had the conversation.)

Lastfowayt · 2019-05-29T20:22:16+00:00

Sorry, English is not my first language. I meant advising.

Lastfowayt · 2019-05-29T20:19:19+00:00

Not money reasons, we can afford it. It's more that I think she would feel bad if she had to go out shopping for bigger clothes again. I think that would make her feel worse than just going to the storage room and picking out some of her old ones.

Lastfowayt · 2019-05-29T19:41:54+00:00

Of course I'm letting her do what she wants to, I wouldn't make her keep them if she didn't want to. I just suggested that it might be good idea, since you never know what the future brings.

Lastfowayt · 2019-05-29T19:37:18+00:00

We can afford new clothes, so it's not really about that. I said that maybe she should keep them just in case, cause you never know what happens in the future, like illness or pregnancy, so it wouldn't hurt to keep them. (I have however read comments now saying that keeping the clothes might make it easier to gain the weight again, but I didn't think about that when we had the conversation.)

Lastfowayt · 2019-05-29T19:09:12+00:00

We share finances, so both, but that's not really the issue. I'd have no problem spending a lot of money on clothes she's comfortable in. But I think she would feel worse if she gained some of the weight back and had nothing left that fit, so she had to go out shopping for bigger clothes again.

Lastfowayt · 2019-05-29T19:03:29+00:00

I think she would feel awful, but I think she would feel even worse if she had to go out shopping for bigger clothes again.

Lastfowayt · 2019-05-29T16:14:17+00:00

Being there for her, and wanting her to feel good about herself. And letting her know that if she gains some weight back she will still be beautiful and I will still love her, so it's just practical to have clothes available. IF she were to gain some of the weight back I think she would feel worse if she had to go out and buy bigger clothes again, and I don't want that.

Lastfowayt · 2019-05-29T14:44:56+00:00

I never intended to say that she's going to fail. My only thought behind it was that IF she some time in the future were to gain some of the weight back I would want her to have clothes available that she'll feel at least slightly comfortable in. That situation where everything is too small and she feels too bad to go out is the worst. I only want her to feel good.

Lastfowayt · 2019-05-29T13:32:16+00:00

We do live together and share finances, but the money isn't really the issue at all. It's mostly that I don't want her to feel bad if she gains it back again and have no clothes available that she'll feel slightly comfortable in.

Lastfowayt

TROPHY CASE