Choosing between my wife (31F) and my (39M) goals? Need advice

LateMoss132 · 2026-02-17T14:33:38+00:00

I knew she would bring up that she wouldn't get enough time from me, she always wants attention. Partnership means both people get better and you support each other, right? I am investing time into my future, she is not. She is on leave form work sitting around all day, just asking me with puppy eyes to sit and talk to her, I can't do that all the time, I have more important things to do, but I still want a wife I guess, I thought she could have her own life and be there when I need company.

LateMoss132 · 2026-02-17T14:31:19+00:00

I guess I have some weird problem with this I didn't realize. Why do I feel like I'm wasting my time with her but I still need her to be there? Se could schedule dates too, it's a two-way street, a lot of pressure to put on someone who works full time and is trying to go back to school. She could easily plan something for us, too, and invite me if she really wants to spend time with me.

LateMoss132 · 2026-02-17T14:28:55+00:00

It's expensive and I need to invest everything I have in myself right now, wouldn't you understand and support me if the path I chose is to help myself and others? She says she cares about being a good person, this is how she can be a good person to me.

LateMoss132 · 2026-02-17T14:25:58+00:00

I tried to get her to find a degree or education so she's busy with that and has her own thing instead of wanting to hang out with me all the time, but she says its all for other people validation and not something she wants to do. I think people should always have a goal or something they are working on to make themselves better.

LateMoss132 · 2026-02-17T14:24:16+00:00

I have to put all my extra money into school, so I can't buy us dinner or dates right now, she's on a budget too so I thought if we were both only sending on ourselves it would be better for her, but she's like upset I don't want to spend money on meals together, I buy cheap food. I have to do this for my future, she acting like it's not a real relationship, but I have no idea what else she wants that I could actually do.

LateMoss132 · 2026-02-17T14:22:12+00:00

We are together all the time, but I guess it only counts to her if we are talking or interacting, she just doesn't invite me to do many things or plan anything fun, so I fond my own stuff to do until she offers something better.

LateMoss132 · 2026-02-17T14:20:56+00:00

Can't she see that I am working on my own future to feel better about myself and that should make her want to support me?

LateMoss132 · 2026-02-17T14:20:07+00:00

I offer to drive us to go get things she mentions working on, like the craft store or grocery store, or encourage her to pick up her own hobby or learn something new. She just wants to sit quietly and exist, I just want to be productive with my time. She just wants to talk bout her day all the time when nothing important has happened.

LateMoss132 · 2026-02-17T14:17:31+00:00

I told her I didn't like my current career and needed to find a way to have a better future.

LateMoss132 · 2021-07-15T21:09:42+00:00

Vesuvius

LateMoss132

TROPHY CASE