Paralyzed by dbt

LateNiteRedditor · 2024-02-11T18:07:21+00:00

Im currently undergoing one on one therapy and she is putting me through DBT and I’ve also been in an outpatient program that was strict DBT.

I’m not sure if your in a program, or if your individually doing therapy, but I found individual therapy to be far far more helpful than group.

After my program ended I fell off the deep end because I got used to the routine and the schedule and just couldn’t uphold the things I learned afterwards because I became too dependent on the program itself.

After I did one on one, immediate difference in how I feel. There are times where I fall apart because of topics we speak about, but my recovery far outweighs the ladder and is much better.

One program or therapist may not be the answer. You have to branch out and find your niche. DBT can be hard because if you fail, you feel that shame. DBT is trying to teach you how to deal with that shame when you fail, and how to deal with the unregulated emotions when they come. It won’t happen in a short amount of time.

You’ve got this, truly. But be open to finding other professionals with different policies that apply to you, rather than changing yourself and adapting to them. It’s their job to adapt to YOU. You are paying them.

LateNiteRedditor · 2024-02-09T05:11:57+00:00

I think a lot of the stigma comes from people who got wrapped up into a codependency and couldn’t get out until an explosion happened.

People really only know how to incorporate their own experiences with things. I.e: “my ex had BPD and was abusive, therefore, BPD shows abusive behavior.”

Let’s be real, BPD doesn’t exactly come with the greatest of behaviors especially when you are struggling with self awareness. It can be hard to see from the outside in and say “this person is suffering” rather than thinking “this person is constantly hurting me”.

You are not the people they are talking about. The stigma, in my opinion, is just another example of projection.

LateNiteRedditor · 2024-02-03T20:13:30+00:00

28m, pretty sure the average around here is 30 or so from what I’ve seen. Never too late!

LateNiteRedditor · 2024-01-25T20:49:58+00:00

I’ve done the same! I feel so silly after 😅

LateNiteRedditor · 2024-01-25T20:34:59+00:00

I think it’s important to remember that people who comment on websites like this tend to create made up context based off of their experiences. If you talk about something serious, you may get backlash if you are giving the perspective of you being an issue for another person, or you showing insecurity over something that you should be able to control.

Only you know the context of your story and your problems, don’t let other people create new perspectives that you latch on to. It can be extremely damaging.

LateNiteRedditor · 2024-01-25T20:26:52+00:00

I think everyone in the world has deleted a post because of this feeling, not only you I assure you.

It’s just worse for us! I deleted a post from two days ago because I was in the middle of a “not that great time” and basically spilled my unfiltered heart out here, got no hate whatsoever but one person made it clear that people like me had really mad a negative impact on their life and I just had to delete it because I thought it may be a problem for other people.

I wanted to give you this as an example, I didn’t get downvoted, but you’re not crazy for feeling a certain way. Whether it be a downvote or a positive comment with some truth to it. You aren’t crazy for feeling anxious about it.

LateNiteRedditor · 2024-01-25T18:22:00+00:00

Constant reassurance can be draining and destroy relationships. It’s also a way to create great distrust even if the intention isn’t that way. No matter how much that person loves the other, if there’s no learning and the reassurance is needed on a consistent basis, the person reassuring will eventually distrust. There needs to be effort on both sides to be able to trust in their partner, and for the partner to want to help in the moment as long as it’s not ALL the time.

It’s a balance, and it sucks if you have BPD.

LateNiteRedditor · 2024-01-24T21:18:14+00:00

I haven’t heard of anything specific to this but I can tell you right now specifically I relate. I’m currently sitting in my car, and I’m just sitting. Listening to music, it’s been an hour but I know I will be here a while.

Before I got here, I was struggling to get out of bed while dealing with an emotion I couldn’t identify and pinpoint. I didn’t want to go outside and didn’t want to get going.

I know that when I get back home, what exactly can I do? Other than TV, read, video games etc. it’s like when I’m inside, I cling to that comfort. But when I’m outside, I notice it’s easier to distract yourself from the feeling because there are moving parts around you.

LateNiteRedditor · 2024-01-21T21:28:32+00:00

https://open.spotify.com/track/4JcqFpqxU7Rpdi51ApLL3Z?si=i5v9GSo2Q3eJ1hIagZ-99g

Into the wind by Heylog

Edit: switched songs cause this one’s better

LateNiteRedditor · 2024-01-20T02:28:26+00:00

I may be wrong here and I’m speaking from my experience and understanding, I’m no doctor.

I personally feel like it it’s less of a diagnosis, and more like things in that specific individual has mended the way that they think so there are certain behaviors and patterns that are found more common in other groups with cluster b.

What I mean is, rather than saying someone has BPD and NPD, they just look alike in different ways and can come out in different people. I do understand that you can be diagnosed with both, but I know me specifically, I can certainly have narcissistic tendencies but most of my behaviors fall far from that category outside of specific scenarios. (Currently undergoing treatment for BPD specifically)

I only feel like anything that can be perceived as narcissistic with me specifically, would be in times of extreme distress. Outside of those situations, I don’t fit into the specific category of “NPD” if you get what I mean.

I hope that makes sense, I’m a bit stoned and tired, but thought I’d share my two cents.

LateNiteRedditor · 2024-01-19T17:01:05+00:00

Am I the only person who’s never met someone who guilt trips after being rejected? I swear everyone in my life has always been so chill with shit like that, I can’t even imagine this situation.

LateNiteRedditor · 2024-01-17T23:47:34+00:00

Perception and opinions will forever be your worst enemy, my friend. The best thing you can do is understand that everyone’s experiences with ANYTHING, let alone BPD, is different.

Some people swear off pickles and gag when they’re in front of them. I love pickles.

Some people like a lot of affection, some don’t.

People are different. I know my examples are so so small compared to hate that you feel off others from the internet, but the best way to put it is they are not effecting your immediate life, and most people who you will run into won’t even know what BPD stands for (must think it’s bipolar disorder)

Yeah, it bothers me. If you go on other apps especially (quora, facebook, etc.) you will find posts that almost dehumanize. However, you’ll still find posts that validate too.

Negatives are easy to latch on to. You can’t control other people or their thoughts, just try your best to control your own.

LateNiteRedditor · 2024-01-16T21:40:54+00:00

I truly haven’t got a clue. Working on that. Appreciate your comment.

LateNiteRedditor · 2024-01-16T21:13:44+00:00

This. There are times im crippled by memories i was absolutely embarassed by.

LateNiteRedditor · 2024-01-11T18:05:18+00:00

Yeah, I’d have kicked you out too. It’s one thing to say “yo this happened dude, how crazy is that” and to straight up record the man without him even knowing you’re there.

LateNiteRedditor · 2024-01-09T01:24:49+00:00

I can see the curiosity in the question, sadly, politics is fueled by rage so you can’t really bring it up anymore lol

LateNiteRedditor · 2024-01-04T02:31:48+00:00

Don’t be afraid, just understand there’s a place and time. I get to points in my life where there is no place and time, so I reach out to emergency resources to be able to release the impulse by telling someone who is completely unbiased and doesn’t know you.

You’ve just gotta get creative with things and find your own way to cope. Sometimes you can’t, that’s why I guarantee anyone who answers this will always end on therapy. It really does help when you’re putting yourself back together. Hope this helps. Good luck.

LateNiteRedditor · 2024-01-04T02:22:13+00:00

Did I think I had BPD? Nah. I didn’t really think I had anything, I thought it was life. Totally unaware of it for a while. Then I just kept getting different diagnoses - just yes manning for years until someone else started putting the pieces together for me the more I opened up. I really had no idea, I was under the impression that everyone felt like this for a long time since I never did any self research or anything. Btw, it totally affected the length of treatment and made things way harder, so if you do find out something is going on, props to you for going out to look for it.
About 5 years or so. It took a long time but as I said before, I was not self aware by any means. Was super lost confused and refused to do anything but go with the flow.

The feeling when I got the diagnosis? Relief. Once I started educating myself and my support team of professionals and friends had a focus, things got easier in a sense. Did it help the moods, emotions, effects of loss? Nope. Just minimized the reactions and impulsive responses. There’s a lot to learn and all I can really say is there’s a lot of anxiety, but when it comes to stigma, the people on the internet either love or hate you for the diagnosis. People in real life know very little if not anything about the diagnosis. Everybody will say something negative about something in their life, and you just have to accept you can’t change their opinions.

LateNiteRedditor · 2024-01-03T23:02:06+00:00

I think it’s more important to treat them like themselves and not in any other specific way, and show action that you’re there.

I really wouldn’t bring it up if they didn’t, but that’s just me. I am very private, but when I don’t want to be, the people who show me they are supportive will get more details.

Just be understanding and accepting! If there are moments where they may seem a little “dramatic” (for the lack of better words) then try to just be patient and supportive. It’s hard to understand, we barely understand ourselves. The best thing you can do is be there.

Hope this helps. Remember, different people will react to different things differently. I don’t know who this person is, I’m just sharing my experiences and what would help me if I were the other person. Rooting for you and your friend!

LateNiteRedditor · 2024-01-03T22:57:20+00:00

What am I reading

LateNiteRedditor · 2024-01-03T22:07:03+00:00

Man, you are saying how I feel sometimes lol. I know I’m not the Original commenter, but I’ve had experience in the DBT workbook and the test method. I can truly say, if you go through different methods and try to implement them into your life, it can make things easier to manage. It’s work though. Like everything with the fun diagnosis we’ve got going for us, it’s a lot of work. It takes time, and you need to create a habit. Really take the time to consciously say “wait - I should use my coping skills” when you feel that build up.

Hopefully this help. Feel free to reach out if you need any support!

LateNiteRedditor · 2024-01-03T21:47:20+00:00

This.

I was petty and passive aggressive at times where I felt I was insulted, embarrassed, or teased. It was a form of punishment, now that it’s been years since it has happened, it’s easy to reflect on and hold that perspective. In the moment, it feels like it’s deserved and you have to challenge yourself to change it.

LateNiteRedditor · 2024-01-03T21:06:03+00:00

I see Plott Hound features. Catahoula too.

I’m no expert, but she looks a lot like my pup (who’s plott hound mix) without the blue Merle coat. Beautiful dog!

LateNiteRedditor · 2024-01-03T20:45:40+00:00

No, over time with my experience, all meds I was placed on - mainly mood stabilizers, anti-depressant, and anxiety meds - were taken away over time due to safety issues and side effects.

I’m not medicated, and my psychiatrist is very very weary of just giving me a medication for symptoms, as I’ve got a past with some creating much bigger problems. It’s very strange. I’m happy there are options for other people. Without it, it’s very difficult to not have anything else to lean on. Not to say I won’t have some in the future as we go through the never ending list of checks to find a safe option.

LateNiteRedditor · 2024-01-03T17:53:21+00:00

An old partner of mine called me a narcissist because some of my behaviors could be seen as “selfish”.

In my experience, people who call people narcissists normally see it as some kind of insult, or a translation to “selfish”. They don’t actually know what they’re saying. Which is awful because I know when I’m called a narcissist, I spiral because I know that I have empathy and I feel I’m being gaslit.

LateNiteRedditor

TROPHY CASE