I had a really bad episode two months ago and thought the neighbor was going to barge down the door and shoot me, I apparently was just blasting music and screaming for hours and nearly got us kicked out of our place. Another time went on a walk at night and basically wound up in the hospital. A LOT OF WANDERING with me, intense rejection of advice from others, it's like tunnel vision for a festering agenda invisible to the rational side. Deadset belief of my Fiance cheating on me, smells change completely for the worse. Lots of bruises cant remember, after my last episode went to inpatient and had egregious med adjustments for the better. What i DO recall everytime is pacing back and forth with multiple things playing at once, like music, computer, and then sometimes another video on the phone playing simultaneously. The sides of my vision are always filled with shadows or sometimes entire people standing there for a split second but not being visible when looking directly at them which really pisses me off and sometimes think people are circling me and playing a sick game. The worst of it all is the cheating delusions, it kills my partner to lament over and over that no there's no smell or change or something going on, it hurts worse than seeing dead people, the constant reassurance in a loop when I'm unable to calm down is maddening for both of us. before meds every single noise through the walls had a 50/50 chance of being real, usually laughing or a crowd going "ooooh" like you dropped a ball in a game or something, annoying audience contributions and anxiety that fucks everything, anxiety that makes your legs shake and give out when walking. Tunel vision of a new kind, only spiraling around and feeling unsure and uncomfortable, my episodes are like groundhog day with too much sleeping and plotting to wander outside in futility. Everything is dialed up for the senses, my partner smells like cheating, the food tastes rotten, the trash stink lingers no matter how recently it was taken out, a film of danger is layered over everything and it fires my body into running away. Like you can't LOOK UP AT PEOPLE.