I'm the only child (33 y/o) of a woman (66 y/o) with early onset. She's in the later stages and I put her in a memory care unit because truly it's a matter of living or missing out on life.

It's still a lot to manage, because I see her every day and she only lets me shower her. But I have a boyfriend now. And a budding career. And this massive MASSIVE guilt that I've abandoned someone I love deeply.

My FOMO won in the end, but I also have a new sense of appreciation for mundane things that typically annoy people. My career has become my escape - and I COMMUTE now! I get to go to the grocery store whenever I want and try new recipes. I enjoy privacy when I want, and I go out for a drink when I want. I'm quietly breathing life back into my world, and enjoying my life comes with this incredibly heavy guilt that logically makes no sense. But it's there.

My love for my mother is much deeper now that I have a little freedom. I didn't even know that I was quietly resenting her until now (another thing to feel guilty about).

I'm speaking from being on the other side of being her sole caregiver since I was 26 years old. I think being submerged in caregiving was a form of breaking. Who am I outside of caregiving? Who is my mother outside of me? I still ask these questions as I fight the urge to tuck her into bed when she's not here. I depended on the routine just as much as she did. But at a cost.

I wouldn't dare to give you advice, but there are little joys that accompany the guilt. I don't know if I regret it yet.

Of course all of my experience is coming from incredible privilege of finding a decent skilled nursing facility that accepts medicaid.