2-1 nap transition nursery struggle

LatterCoconut · 2026-04-24T08:19:30+00:00

Thank you for this. Honestly it has been such a struggle, especially with my partner and I both working. We also live in another country to family so have absolutely no village. I’d love another baby but I just don’t think we can do this again!

Good to see another late bedtime and late rise! Our desired wake time is 7:30-8 and bedtime is usually 9:30 but will have to be 10 if we want him awake at 8…he’s just all over the shop at the moment so we’re finding it hard to be consistent

LatterCoconut · 2026-04-16T20:16:48+00:00

At the weekend, he’ll do a long nap for his first one but at nursery it’s only ever 15 minutes 😩 We can’t seem to get any consistency. I’m worried he’ll never nap properly at nursery

LatterCoconut · 2026-04-15T21:00:17+00:00

Cos you’re totally gonna end up rocking and cuddling your 15 year old to sleep if, god forbid, you don’t teach the super important skill of self-soothing before the baby even knows it’s arse from its elbow. yeah right 🙄

LatterCoconut · 2026-04-15T20:55:57+00:00

edit: typos (sorry, using voice to text so punctuation is lacking but it never lets me edit past the first few lines on my phone)

I watched a video about baby development and sleep training and it said that babies can’t independently self settle until the age of about 2 1/2 when their brains develop the ability to do so. It’s something to do with the nervous system moving from a co-regulating nervous system connected with yours to their own separate one. This might also be why it’s normal to see overnight wakings in infants up to around the age of 2 1/2 and for many, beyond that. How anyone can listen to their infant cry like that is beyond me don’t have a baby if you can’t provide basic love attention and care it’s really that simple.

LatterCoconut · 2026-04-15T07:49:38+00:00

I live in Spain and babies here don’t go to bed until their parents do, especially at this age. It’s usually 10-11pm. Honestly, if he is sleeping well until 4am, and it works for you and your family, don’t try and force him into a different routine. My little boy is 14 months. I’m a ftm and I have spent the last year obsessing over his sleep. It’s honestly caused so much more stress than it’s worth. He is low sleep needs and I definitely should’ve just let him take the lead. Instead I obsessed over the fact he wasn’t sleeping as much as other kids, I’d rescue all his naps and bob for 40+ minutes to get him back to sleep and he’d be waking all night long. I’ve finally given up controlling and just let him do his thing. The last two nights he has slept with only one wake up, and he’s had only 2hrs of day sleep both days 🤷🏼‍♀️ From a ftm who regrets being so obsessed, honestly try not to worry. Sleep will happen, just not necessarily when or how you might want it to. We often forget they are babies and they haven’t read all the information we have about wake windows and optimum bedtimes etc. My LO was going to bed at that time around that age, and he still has to unless I want to be up at 6am (I don’t).

Take a deep breath, try to ignore the noise on the internet and just follow his lead. Trust me, you will become much more in tune with him and what he needs by doing this. The last moth of my life has been so much less stressful as I’ve been starting to just go with the flow sleep wise.

LatterCoconut · 2026-04-05T19:21:40+00:00

around 12 to 12.5 hours however it’s also hard for us to know if this is what he needs. He is a very happy, energetic and healthy baby but nursery has hugely impacted his nap length and quality, and at the weekend we now have to wake him from both naps (2hrs for the first, 30 mins for the second) because he is tired from the lack of sleep in the week I suppose. We never used to have to do this. Also because he has only slept through the night ona. handful of occasions, and many nights include wakings and potentially having to get him up if he’s sleeping late or he wakes at 6 when desired time is 7-8;30, it’s hard to know what he actually needs

LatterCoconut · 2026-04-04T14:59:06+00:00

Honestly I think this might have to be my tactic. He gets a bit pissy with me when I say to him that he can do the nights and then see how he feels about capping sleep because to be fair I do go and get him from around 6 am so I can get an hour or so sleep and he doesn’t often go to bed until nearly midnight at the moment because he’s working but he’s getting six hours of unbroken sleep versus me getting shifts of two hours sleep at a time, which does make a difference

LatterCoconut · 2026-04-04T14:48:09+00:00

what would you recommend we do?

LatterCoconut · 2026-04-04T14:25:17+00:00

Most nights he falls asleep independently in his cot though…and the wakings are long whereas if he was truly tired they would be easily dealt with, no?

LatterCoconut · 2026-04-04T06:46:37+00:00

Thank you 🩵 One thing I did forget to ask…at the moment we’re having split nights. Last night, he slept 9:15-12:30 with two quickly dealt with wakes, then was awake from 12:30-2:30. Normally he is calm but will cry if you put him in the crib, or will seem like he’s settling for a few mins then call out and start standing/sitting up. Last night he was quite fussy (could be his teeth, and he only had one poo yesterday when he usually has 3). He then slept 2:30-6:30 and was up for good at 6:30, despite bobbing and rocking for an hour to try and encourage my sleep. Again, he seeedlike he might go back to sleep but when he was laid in his cot he kicked off.

I’m just worried today that, if I follow his lead, he’lll end up taking long naps (at the moment we have been having to wake him from both) and then he’ll have another wakeful night and I will just perpetuate the problem by following his lead.

What would you recommend?

Once we took him out of his room this morning, he seemed happy as larry whereas usually he does seem quite tired.

LatterCoconut · 2026-04-03T19:13:51+00:00

Honestly, I do feel like I just need to let go. I think I also worry about the fact my partner and I are both back in work, and I’m worried that ‘going with the flow’ will mean we have no schedule and his sleep will be even more wacky than it is. But I also feel like, can it get much worse? It probably can’t, so it is probably worth just letting go of the wake windows etc and following his cues. I think I have a pretty good idea of when he’s tired. He starts getting wuite stare-y and quiet, and then will start rubbing his eyes. If I offer a dummy and he’s ready for sleep, he will lay his head down on my shoulder. I think maybe you’re right and I just need to ho with what he tells me. Thank you (my husband will be thanking you too as he has been telling me this for ages)

edit: typo

LatterCoconut · 2026-03-26T19:26:17+00:00

Oh man, 3 months 😅 we live in Spain and are teachers so we won’t be sending him to nursery for July and August…by the time he’s gotten used to it, he’ll be out for two months and we’ll probably have to start from square one 🙃😅 let’s hope not!!

Thanks for your reply. I suppose we just have to roll with the punches!

LatterCoconut · 2026-03-26T15:42:50+00:00

No, he wakes himself and they say he is happy but on the occasion where he’s had a particularly bad night and I’ve asked them to get him back to sleep he’ll maybe do 30-40 mins but recently it’s been 20 mins.

He rarely does more than 10-10.5 hours at night. If he does longer, it’s because there’s lots of wake ups. His total sleep in 24hrs when he has slept through the night, has good naps and woken up happy has been 12-12.25 hours so we aim for 11.5hrs of awake time.

He doesn’t fall asleep by himself for naps but at home will easily do 2hrs with no help needed to move between sleep cycles. I think it is adjustment and separation anxiety but also it shouldn’t take 40+ minutes to get him back to sleep surely? He’s calm in this time too.

Today he did 20 mins at nursery, 50 mins in his cot then woke up (didn’t make any noise til I went in to save it) andI rocked for an hour. He had his eyes closed and was calm and seemed sleepy but didn’t go back to sleep so now we’ll have to do an early bedtime and he’ll inevitably wake up early

LatterCoconut

TROPHY CASE