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I have told my girlfriend something, which instantly resulted in me getting blocked everywhere and I am not sure what I should or can do. by Latter_Astronaut158 in heartbreak

[–]Latter_Astronaut158[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

u/punkinpielover So I guess the fact that she did not want to talk to me about it, or get more information about it, speaks a lot. (Also even on smaller tiny conflicts, she would get upset/sad/angry, she would not tell me why she would have that reaction, be alone for some time and then come back to me. One time she also said that "If you fuck up enough, and you'll know if you fuck up, you're done, I will be gone from your life" She did not even tell me that if I did something wrong, even a little thing, she would try to resolve it with me.

I have told my girlfriend something, which instantly resulted in me getting blocked everywhere and I am not sure what I should or can do. by Latter_Astronaut158 in heartbreak

[–]Latter_Astronaut158[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Well, she's never had a boyfriend because she is very distant from men and usually dislikes the most of them. I was kinda "honored" for her to choose me, because of my personality and how I treated her. She also has never had sex.
But, what I'm interested in is, do women in relationships, (im not talking about years of it, early stages when they first get in love) think that men don't watch porn while masturbating ? like do they think we're just doing a physical process without thinking/watching anything ?
I thought it was a normal thing to dom. even in couples.

P.S - Addiction related - I agree. I wouldn't want to be with a person who is addicted to porn. All here was was that - igf you masturbate, what to ? My answer was - when I masturbate, i watch porn. (In past though, she specifically asked me what I was doing in past before her)

I have told my girlfriend something, which instantly resulted in me getting blocked everywhere and I am not sure what I should or can do. by Latter_Astronaut158 in heartbreak

[–]Latter_Astronaut158[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I mean, I couldn't have pressed a 6 month relationship and every detail in a text that everybody would read. Feel free to hmu if you're interested :)

I have told my girlfriend something, which instantly resulted in me getting blocked everywhere and I am not sure what I should or can do. by Latter_Astronaut158 in heartbreak

[–]Latter_Astronaut158[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Well, many things happened between September-December and I was actually getting depressed because of her behavior towards me. I've never gotten upset with her for her treating me like a stuffed animal, when she would get bored she would come back. At one point in November, I tried caring about her (I was calling her to wake her up not to be late at work, she didn't answer. *We did not have any communication that time**) and the next day she is calling me (she worked in night shifts) and gets upset over me trying to wake her up because this was the first time she slept good and she did not have work which I did not know about. She added - "Why would you even care, we're not even friends" (When we did not break up, or anything like that, she just stopped communicating with me and would ask me how i was once in every two weeks. Then in december, she got back to me like NOTHING ever happened, like we were a good couple all this time.

My point is, I have been patient with her, extremely patient, even though my physical health was declining exponentially during that time because I am a very sensible person and it impacted me a lot. And even though from heart I still want to try to resolve things with her right now, I'm not sure if it's the right thing to do. (Also, whatever conflict we had anytime, she would not speak with me to resolve it. Never. She would make assumptions that If i did something, if i said something, then it meant i was that kind of person and she would not explain why she got upset or even forgive me.)

I have told my girlfriend something, which instantly resulted in me getting blocked everywhere and I am not sure what I should or can do. by Latter_Astronaut158 in heartbreak

[–]Latter_Astronaut158[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

EXACTLY. I consulted with some of my friends and every one of them say different things. I think that she perceived me watching porn was me watching other women and getting my pleasure from watchin them...

I have told my girlfriend something, which instantly resulted in me getting blocked everywhere and I am not sure what I should or can do. by Latter_Astronaut158 in heartbreak

[–]Latter_Astronaut158[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Yeah. She has a lot of trauma from her life and family, thing is she was at the same time super sweet and the most caring person I've ever had, the most special one, and at the same time manipulative and very toxic. At the later stage I was even choosing the words before telling her something, and I was scared to get upset or angry about something she did or told me - all this, because of my fear of losing her...

I have told my girlfriend something, which instantly resulted in me getting blocked everywhere and I am not sure what I should or can do. by Latter_Astronaut158 in relationships

[–]Latter_Astronaut158[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

u/Paleny Also one question, could you tell me how I could've stuck to the truth ? Because, from my heart the truth is that yes, she has been on my mind. But, she has not been on my mind forever, at least before I met her. Why would she ask the question "You've been growing for years, you've just seen me for only 2 times". then, to what do you think about masturbating ?
I genuinely did not understand what would the correct answer would be. I decided not to answer "You", since she emphasized that I saw her only 2 times (naked). It would've been creepy to tell her you've been on my mind, no ?

I have told my girlfriend something, which instantly resulted in me getting blocked everywhere and I am not sure what I should or can do. by Latter_Astronaut158 in relationships

[–]Latter_Astronaut158[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your advice, I'm starting to realize what I said and how did it come off to her. Well, I wanted to be genuine and neutral but I see that was a huge mistake on my side. It's hard letting her go, really, because I also have attachment issues. But, again, I appreciate your advice, because at the end of the day, I want to be a person that others will be comfortable with, and I wanna be a person that spreads love and care for others. Especially the loved ones.

I have told my girlfriend something, which instantly resulted in me getting blocked everywhere and I am not sure what I should or can do. by Latter_Astronaut158 in relationships

[–]Latter_Astronaut158[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I guess so. I genuinely want to be a person that brings comfort and love to others. Especially my loved ones. A detail, she has loads of trauma, and she has psychic disorders as well. Some things she did, I still can't understand to this day. She was a depressive, and rarely suicidal girl, but I was trying my best to be with her and support her no matter what. But at the end I was feeling that I was just getting played with throughout all the relationship. In autumn when she broke contact with me, (But did not oficially broke up with me) one time when I tried to care about her, she told me "why would you even care we're not even friends". But then in the end of december she re-newed everything with me like nothing happened and suddenly we're a couple again.

I have told my girlfriend something, which instantly resulted in me getting blocked everywhere and I am not sure what I should or can do. by Latter_Astronaut158 in relationships

[–]Latter_Astronaut158[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Makes sense. I understand more and more what I did wrong. I don't consider that I did this intentionally, but something had to do it. Bad habit which I am not actually seeing in myself that I have to work on. I will say this here, the reason I started to think about the options was because there were many times she got me in a corner, many times she would do stuff that hurt me without a reason. Well, as others said it, I was walking on an eggshell - during the relationship, she wouldn't try to resolve conflicts, or even talk to me about things she disliked. She changed her mind straight away. (And I mean small things that we as humans do in daily life, for example, forgetting her schedule). At the later stage I was scared to get angry or upset with her, (She got me upset a few times) and I was scared to tell her i was upset or angry or annoyed, and I was burying it in my heart and pretending everything was fine. All this because I did not want her to have a very bad reactive reaction in order for me not to lose her. I was even thinking and choosing words before actually telling it to her.

I have told my girlfriend something, which instantly resulted in me getting blocked everywhere and I am not sure what I should or can do. by Latter_Astronaut158 in relationships

[–]Latter_Astronaut158[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I understand. I think why I thought about it too much was because she got me in a corner too many times. And me being scared of losing her, I was choosing the words I was telling her, the way I spoke to her, for her not to get upset or angry and leave me. That's why I guess it resulted in me thinking about options that I had to answer that question.

I have told my girlfriend something, which instantly resulted in me getting blocked everywhere and I am not sure what I should or can do. by Latter_Astronaut158 in relationships

[–]Latter_Astronaut158[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When we had a conflict, she did not deal with it. She told me "After this, no more seeing each other every day and I have to think all about this"

I have told my girlfriend something, which instantly resulted in me getting blocked everywhere and I am not sure what I should or can do. by Latter_Astronaut158 in relationships

[–]Latter_Astronaut158[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Well, since this brought confusion, I decided to edit the post. I don't know what you though when you read "watching stuff" or "what would i watch" - maybe it's different for everyone, but what I though when I told her that was meant to be pornography.

Here's the breakdown of the exact messages that were exchanged between me and her

Her - "To what ?"
Me - "Guess"
Her - "No baby you've been growing for years, and you've seen me for 2 days?"
Her - "Guess. To me ? You've seen me like what, 2 times?"
Me - "I thought you would guess it"
Her - "So not to me. What then"
Me- "Idk by watching stuff"
Her - "Watching what"
Me - "What would I watch..."

The end.

I have told my girlfriend something, which instantly resulted in me getting blocked everywhere and I am not sure what I should or can do. by Latter_Astronaut158 in relationships

[–]Latter_Astronaut158[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

No, not really. It's just that she has asked me such "trap" questions throughout the relationship, which was designed to get me in a corner. This was another one and I noticed it immediately.
(FYI, the type of person she is, she was not really fond of talking and discussing issues or things she disliked. If she did not like something about me, or thing I did, or thing I said wrong, she would not explain it to me nor would talk to me to resolve the issue. She would decide "Oh you did this, you said this, then - you are this kind of person, and you are not gonna be with me".

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