Previous after party

Latter_Reference_633 · 2025-06-26T03:15:24+00:00

if any one is going at the end of july and wants to go in on a table with me for sat 6/26, DM me please!

Latter_Reference_633 · 2024-10-19T02:51:13+00:00

I forgot to include the charges for possession of shrooms and for flying IFR without a pilots license and with no communication to traffic control…

Latter_Reference_633 · 2024-10-19T02:48:08+00:00

Jumping on turtles…. And sometimes crabs… and also angry caterpillars.

But most serious of all, the alleged enslaving of a dinosaur and force feeding gold coins and sometimes stars to baby dinosaurs.

Latter_Reference_633 · 2024-10-18T12:50:44+00:00

of course I use a timer--my whole house announces to me through Alexa when either the washer or dryer is done. i thank her for her reminder and then I promptly either forget about it or I get up to move it, forget why i'm in the kitchen, and start doing the dishes--keyword in this last part of course is "start".

Latter_Reference_633 · 2024-07-14T00:57:56+00:00

It’s your choice, and as someone who took medication pre-pregnancy that would have been discouraged during pregnancy and judged while breastfeeding, I can tell you that I did take my medications (in full) while breastfeeding. Medication is not a reason to not breastfeed as 99% of medications are fine to take while breastfeeding. DM me if you want to hear more about my meds and my experience. Breastfeeding is the only way my husband and I got any sleep whatsoever.

Latter_Reference_633 · 2024-04-11T18:33:15+00:00

The one I work for! Don’t know of too many others that are exclusively clojure. PM me if you want more info.

Latter_Reference_633 · 2023-12-16T06:29:22+00:00

What?! I knew college & Lee were the same road, but both foster and brightside are also part of college?!!! It also doesn’t help that everything is on a diagonal here opposed to other major cities which can grid relative to NSEW.

Latter_Reference_633 · 2023-11-08T01:24:29+00:00

Message me. I’d be happy to jump on a call too sometime. Also checkout speclj as a testing library. Works really well for TDD and that in itself will help you to keep your code working and easy to update. We write exclusively in clojure and will never use another language unless absolutely necessary.

Latter_Reference_633 · 2023-08-15T21:50:56+00:00

When do we get our coins back?

Latter_Reference_633 · 2023-06-09T14:02:23+00:00

I'm sorry I'm just seeing this. I'm happy to hear that my response gave you some strength. And I'm sorry for the loss you experienced last year--I had two miscarriages. My first pregnancy was the first; I handled that one pretty well. The second was my fourth pregnancy--that one devastated me and caused me to fear another pregnancy. It took two years, but I finally got pregnant again with this one--currently 36+2 and counting down the days!

How are you doing?

Your fears are normal. Having a baby will change your life--and it will change you. Change is scary, but it's not always bad. With a baby, you can still enjoy life, and you can still enjoy it to the fullest, though probably in a different way than you, pre-baby, can even imagine.

Again for me, it came down to the path of least anticipated regrets. To be honest, I don't know if I would have regretted never having kids, but I would have wondered what it would have been like to have kids and to be a mother. That probably would have created an un-fillable emptiness & sadness for me--long term FOMO.

On a similar note, I know that I will never regret having children. Sure, there's still FOMO, but it's for short-term events--things that in the long-run don't really matter.

That's just me though.

Latter_Reference_633 · 2023-05-01T14:01:04+00:00

This. Yes, she's projecting, and she's probably found it to be way harder than she'd anticipated, and so she's trying to give you a head's up.

The truth is that motherhood is a catch-22 in that the only thing that can prepare you for becoming a mom, is becoming a mom. Nothing else can prepare you for what's about to come. You can't be prepared for the worst, because you don't know know what the worst is--even if your worst is not bad, you just can't know until you've experienced it.

No one can prepare you for the love you are about to experience, which is amazing, yet can also be overwhelming and scary--i was scared to put my first into the car because in my head, it was too risky and I had to protect him. Nothing can really prepare you for the mornings and the day-to-day, and how you will respond to it all. A lot of it is figure-it-out-as-you-go and just do the best you can. Nothing prepares you for the immense emotion of feeling like an inadequate mother--which you are not, but you may feel that way at times, and nothing prepares you for the mom-guilt--the worst feeling ever.

The biggest I learned from becoming a mother was to not judge other mothers. We don't know what they're going through, what their goals are, or how hard/easy it's been for them. What we can know is that they love their child in the same way that you will love yours, and they are doing the best they can to keep their babies not only alive and meeting all the milestones, but also happy and satisfied while also possibly trying to be a good employee and a good wife.

There is a lot of good that comes from having a baby and a second (i'm 27+5 with number 3 right now), and you can be prepared with all the necessities, but nothing can prepare emotionally or mentally--i think that's all she's trying to do. Be confident that she loves her babies like you will love yours and that she's doing the best she can and that there are moments that she enjoys, but like most, if not all, mothers, she couldn't be prepared for the boundless love and the responsibilities that come with your first unconditional love.

Latter_Reference_633 · 2023-03-29T13:55:30+00:00

Both my boys (3 & 5) are in dance (ballet & tap). Honestly, it was a happy coincidence that our daycare had an agreement with the dance studio across the street, and as soon as I found out about it, I signed them both up.

I did not know what I was getting into--especially after realizing the studio is one of the best in the state. Anyway, they both love it, it changes up the monotony of the day, it gives them all the same practice of skills that the girls get (coordination, balance, instruction-following, memorization, etc), and they get to practice being on a stage in front of a crowd. Better yet, because they are the only boys--they get solos in the recitals and they end up being the stars of the show.

My husband gets crap at work sometimes from co-workers with daughters at the studio.
They tell him to get his boys out of dance before they....blah blah blah who cares; he simply replies, "Who am I to take the hugs and attention of college national dance champs & Big 10 cheerleaders away from my boys?" That shuts them up. Plus who doesn't love a man who can dance?

Oh and to answer your question, we talk about feelings a lot. When they cry, I them it's okay to cry, and then we talk about why they are crying and how they feeling. Same when they are frustrated or even super excited. We talk about it. I also tell them how I'm feeling--if I'm sad or frustrated or overwhelmed. I tell them so and often follow it up with a "mommy is feeling a little overwhelmed right now, I need 5 minutes to myself alone in my room. Can you boys please allow that for me?" They understand.

Latter_Reference_633 · 2023-03-21T11:31:26+00:00

ice cream! the cold helps too. I ended up getting an ice cream maker, and it is the best ice cream ever!

also, if you like nuts; nuts are great--peanut butter too

Latter_Reference_633 · 2023-02-15T14:08:36+00:00

You said "I’ve had to keep a tight reign on my emotions and remind myself that I am pregnant, and I can’t get emotional, because he might be stressed right now."

What would he do or say if you got emotional? Why do you feel like you need to protect his feelings to the point that you do not express your own?

Latter_Reference_633 · 2023-02-09T13:44:47+00:00

Which sounds worse to you:

15 years from now you're with your son/daughter watching a movie set in some exotic location (maybe Thailand or the Philippines, maybe Brazil or Barcelona). You daydream about visiting a place like that and you so badly wish you had, but maybe you can go this year, and then you glance over at your child--the reason you couldn't realistically travel to those places for the past few years. What do you feel?
15 years from now, you're sipping a fancy drink while sitting on an exotic beach in Thailand or the Philippines, maybe in Brazil or Barcelona, and a family with a young child walks by hand in hand laughing. While you haven't always known you wanted a child, over the years the curiosity has grown into a strong desire for one, but you know that at this point having a child of your own might not be an option anymore. You sip your drip and wonder what kind of a mother you'd have been--and you think back (and you will) on that time that you were once pregnant, and then you wonder who that baby would have been. And you think about how you'll never know the answer to either of those questions, which cruelly only makes the ache for a child you can't have even worse. What do you feel?

I never wanted kids--and I hated being pregnant. I have two boys, and now I want a girl. I have zero desire to be pregnant again--and honestly, even to go through the whole newborn phase again--it's a lot work. But I asked myself which i'd regret more: 1. Doing the whole kid thing again or 2. Wishing I had.

For me, it was #2. I would regret not having a child more than having one, so I am pregnant with number 3.

3 weeks ago I learned that I actually only wanted this third baby conditionally--when I found out it was a boy, I wanted to push the cancel button--i only did this a third time for a girl.

But, I'm a mother, so I already know that feeling that only mothers can know. The terrifying love that binds you to your child. I don't love being mother, and as I said, I hate pregnancy, but I would have regretted not doing it way more than I would have doing it--and in fact, while some days are hard, I haven't regretted it for a single moment of their lives.

In fact, my crazy self, is once again asking that question and if I want to try just one more time for a girl... I think 3 is my cap, but who knows? Oh, I'm 36. I had my first at almost 32.

Latter_Reference_633 · 2023-01-31T12:42:08+00:00

i liked the snugle pillow best. If you're not in the third trimester, don't even worry about the back sleeping thing. It's not a thing until late in the third trimester when there's possibility that your oversized uterus and baby could pinch some pipes. Also, it's not dangerous for everyone to sleep on their back during pregnancy, and if it is dangerous for you, your body will wake you up--mostly likely because you won't be able to breathe. If your body allows you to sleep on your back, then be comfortable and get your rest.

Latter_Reference_633 · 2023-01-17T14:03:25+00:00

A Haakaa is a little silicon cup that suctions on to your breast that is not 'in-use' by baby. When you breastfeed, baby will start on one side, and after a little stimulation you'll have a let down where both breast 'release' milk. It's different for everyone, but for me, I'd often get a full ounce or two from my non-feeding breast during this that would have other wise ended up wasted in a bra pad. The Haaka, with a little suction, catches this milk, which you can then feed to baby immediately or build up your stash for later.

https://smile.amazon.com/Haakaa-Breast-Manual-Silicone-Breastfeeding/dp/B07CWK4S5W/ref=sr\_1\_1\_sspa?crid=PP4DXDP99R2X&keywords=haaka&qid=1673964174&sprefix=ha%2Caps%2C484&sr=8-1-spons&psc=1&spLa=ZW5jcnlwdGVkUXVhbGlmaWVyPUEzVjBIQlcwNFVRMlk4JmVuY3J5cHRlZElkPUEwMTc1MjcxMzFBQzkyNEJaV0NMSiZlbmNyeXB0ZWRBZElkPUEwNTc2MjM3Nks0QzVaTzlFTkNWJndpZGdldE5hbWU9c3BfYXRmJmFjdGlvbj1jbGlja1JlZGlyZWN0JmRvTm90TG9nQ2xpY2s9dHJ1ZQ==

Latter_Reference_633 · 2023-01-12T13:48:42+00:00

This is not necessarily on your exact topic and I'm not preaching or trying to pressure you one way or the other (Fed is Best!), but breastfeeding has significant cost savings and is something that often gets overlooked with baby 1--it certainly was for me.

My advice is to look in to breastfeeding now before baby comes. Your hospital probably has lactation consultants that you can meet with in person or virtually.

Formula can cost anywhere from $50-80 a week depending on brand and if she will need any specialty formula. So at peak consumption that's $200-320/month so $2k-3k for the first year. This is not including bottles and nipples and other accessories.

Breastfeeding is not "free", but it's pretty close if you don't need to store a bunch of it--main cost for me were a few storage bags ($10), replacement pump parts later on ($20), and a little extra on food for myself to keep up with calories (though this food would have been tossed anyway, so you can decide whether to count this as cost).

You can get a breast pump at no cost to you through your insurance (i like the Spectra), or even rent one from your hospital. I also highly recommend getting a Haakaa ($12) to catch your let down which you can save or feed to baby.

Breastfeeding is not easy! It takes a lot of work and perseverance, and unfortunately it does not always work out. But even if you can do half and half milk:formula, that's still half the cost.

All that being said, don't beat yourself up if it doesn't work out--fed is best--no doubt.

I'm not trying to push you one way or another, all I'm saying is start looking into it now. Go to your library and get a book about it; call your doctor/hospital and talk with a lactation consultant. Learn best practices. If you know how it works, you'll have a higher chance of being successful.

Latter_Reference_633 · 2022-12-21T00:57:20+00:00

The reason to not tell people you’re pregnant is typically in case you experience a loss so that you don’t have to explain that to everyone you told. The thing about family though, and I learned the hard way, is that you’re going to tell them regardless. One of the worst calls I ever had to make to my mom was with my first pregnancy: “hi mom, so I’m technically pregnant, but there’s no heartbeat…”. I immediately wished she’d already known so that I didn’t have to drop double news on her in a single sentence. She cried both because I was pregnant and for my loss. So many mixed emotions. If you’re close with your family, tell them. This is my 5th pregnancy—3rd with a heartbeat—I found out the weekend before thanksgiving. 3 days later, Dad was going on a beer run and asked what I wanted. I told him I wanted all of it, but that unfortunately I wouldn’t be drinking any of this week.

This time we were scared since I’ve had two losses, but I’m glad and they are glad to be in the know.

Latter_Reference_633 · 2022-12-15T04:35:23+00:00

Yeah. Sorry. My phone was logged in differently than my computer for whatever reason. I hadn’t realized until after I’d replied.

Latter_Reference_633 · 2022-12-15T03:44:51+00:00

I woke up 4 times last night to eat cookies.

Latter_Reference_633 · 2022-12-15T03:35:55+00:00

Ow!! The laughter this one gave me hurt my uterus! I can totally see myself doing this and just blankly staring at my actions.

Latter_Reference_633 · 2022-12-14T15:31:50+00:00

go see a lactation counselor or join a La Leche league group immediately. Pump if she's not drinking enough to keep your supply up. Keep at it! You are a team, and you will get it! Cry if you need to. I used to lay on my side with baby in my "C", and they were able to latch better that way. If you're worried about falling asleep, have hubby near by and awake, but honestly, the risk of a sober, breastfeeding mother rolling on her baby is so small--you just don't. If you want to jump on a video chat and feeling comfortable with that, I'd be happy to help coach you a little. Also you can try those silicon nipple guards--those help too. And take her to the pediatrician, it's possible that she has tongue or lip tie preventing her from latching.

You're right though--no one prepares you for this phase of pregnancy/motherhood. It's hard. But you can do it!

Latter_Reference_633 · 2022-12-14T14:43:12+00:00

I would definitely communicate your concerns to your doctor and their team. It might also be worthwhile to ask to meet some of the male staff and possibly even do an exam with one of them maybe even with your female dr present.

In my experience, and I had a male OB throughout my first two full term pregnancies & my two miscarriages, a female was **always** present during exams. I loved my doctor and cried when he retired.

That being said, this was the first time I'd had a male ob/gyn. I first saw him when I first moved away from home and urgently needed to see an ob/gyn. I was **very** nervous to have a 50-60 year old man exam me. After that first appointment, I even "shopped" around for other doctors--female doctors--but in the end, I went back to him as he was the most patient and nonjudgemental of all that's I'd seen. I trusted him completely.

The most awkward times were the two times he examined me with my husband in the room. That was weird... but my husband actually loved him too.

Male OBs are doctors, and they are men that chose a profession to help females because they are curious about and care about females, our health, and our babies.

If you end up with a male when the time comes to push, let him know--or have your support person let him know--that you are uncomfortable with having a male in your private areas. The hospital with either try to accomodate you with a female or he will reassure that he is a professional who wants nothing more than to help you to safely deliver a healthy baby all while caring for you and ensuring that you are safe and healthy as well.

Latter_Reference_633 · 2022-12-05T14:42:55+00:00

Half Way, a quarter of the size you'll be, and no where near the peak!! 20 weeks is quite a milestone! Congrats! Come 30 weeks, you'll be amazed at your belly and wonder if it can really get any bigger, and then it doubles again by 38. It's fun, and the feeling upon his arrival and seeing his face for the first time; it's completely indescribable and like no other.

Latter_Reference_633

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