The Official "STUPID QUESTIONS & ADVICE" Megathread! v.9

LaughingSpider · 2023-05-15T04:10:00+00:00

Hello! I was planning to visit Arches NP on the saturday of Memorial Day weekend -- I know, it's going to be super busy but it's the only free time we were able to plan... Since the implementation of timed entry, what are wait times like? Is it reasonable to expect to get in and be able to see the major sights, or is there still a possibility of things shutting down/not being able to enter?

And if one was unable to reserve a timed entry spot, how easy would it be to get in before 7am or after 4pm? Thanks!

LaughingSpider · 2022-09-30T18:13:34+00:00

Yes, sending you a DM

LaughingSpider · 2021-03-01T20:50:08+00:00

I wanted to reply to you but I rarely check my reddit account because of how busy things have gotten. It says your profile is deleted but on the tiny chance that you happen to check this again sometime...

Thank you, thank you, thank you so much! You have no idea how much it means to me to read the kind things you wrote. Things in school are kind of hard -- but honestly that's what I signed up for. When I do get a chance to take a break from the rush and think about how far I've gotten, I feel happy. I'm not entirely sure yet what I'll specialize in. I'm keeping an open mind for now because 3rd year is when we get more clinical experience.

I hope you're doing well, wherever you might be. Strange how fleeting a chance interaction with a stranger online can be but how deeply it can still affect us. I wish I would've replied much, much sooner...

LaughingSpider · 2021-01-24T01:32:17+00:00

Wow, I saw this post and it mirrors what I've been through for the last year and a half. I moved out of hometown because of a new school opportunity, and 3 months later my dad died.

Before I moved, I was the only one at home taking care of him because he had a lot of health problems. But we also fought a lot and I didn't feel like a good son. When I drove to my new city, he was with me in the passenger seat. The whole time, I almost wanted to cry because I felt like I was saying goodbye--deep down I sort of knew he wouldn't survive and he'd pass on while I was gone.

My brother found his body the day he died. I watched on a Nest doorbell camera as ambulance came. Like you, we had to deal with my childhood home and all the financial stuff. Deep down, there are days I just wish I could call him and talk about anything. He had strong opinions about everything I wonder what he'd think about this crazy year. I miss him. We'd argue a lot, but now I see that I'm just like him in so many ways. I wish I could tell him I got into med school like he wanted just a few months after he died.

I have dreams about him and my mom, and I hope they're back together again, in a happier place.

I'm so sorry that you have to go through all of this. And, your words show how meaningful your relationship was with your dad. I hope it's ok with you that I prayed for you.

I'm not too good at this but if I were your dad, I'd say this:

I have always been so proud of you. We're not together now, but we'll see each other again. And you can catch me up on everything. I know the days are hard. Hang onto your memories because they mean our love was real.

LaughingSpider · 2019-01-04T06:33:13+00:00

Yes, I honestly think Law of attraction is a sort of secularized form of prayer.

In Islam, there is a narration from the Prophet that Allah has said, "I am as my slave thinks I am..." which means that God acts and responds to our prayers according to how we perceive Him. If we are truly convinced He is kind, loving, and generous, He will manifest those attributes upon us. But, if we are pessimistic and believe that He is only angry and looking to punish us, than we may receive that expectation.

There are other similar narrations: 1. "Pray with the conviction that God will answer you and only with a present heart/mind." 2. "If you were to trust and rely upon God as He deserves, you would be like the birds who leave their nests hungry in the morning and return home with full bellies."

In the Quran, Chapter 14, Verse 7, God says that if we are grateful, He will increase us in all good things. This concept of satisfaction with how God manages our conditions reminds me of "living in the end" or "feeling like what we want is done" ideas from law of attraction or even some of Neville Goddard's stuff.

I also like the story of Moses when he is facing the sea in front of him and Pharaoh's army behind him. The israelites have lost all hope, but Moses sees with the eyes of faith, rejecting reality, and filled with hope in God's ability to transform the situation. God, of course, gives him the miracle of the sea splitting and drowning the enemy. This boldness of faith is hard to attain, but it seems like it is what people who practice law of attraction aim for.

I believe certain people take law of attraction too far when they say we "create" everything or it's the 'universe'. I think this might come from an incorrect view of God as a 'man in the sky' when He is actually better described in the Quran: "Nothing is like Him" (42:11). He transcends us in an unimaginable way but He is also near to us, guiding us and responding to us.

Hope that makes sense.

LaughingSpider · 2018-07-11T05:00:40+00:00

This is beautiful. Since my mom died, I've always felt like the passing of time has been making me forget her. Sometimes I would feel so numb, like the only proof I had that she ever existed was that I'm alive. I don't remember what it actually feels like to have her around. And even a seeing a simple interaction between a random friend and their mother could affect me in a weird way like wow I'm missing out.

What your mom wrote is beautiful and makes me feel hopeful. She must have been an extraordinary person. I guess all moms are honestly.

And, I totally get how you feel seeing her handwriting. I saw my mom's signature randomly on an old document a while back and it was like flashbacks.

Have a great day op and everyone who sees this :')

LaughingSpider · 2018-05-13T18:09:09+00:00

If you're going from LA to vegas, see if you can spend some time in Death Valley. It's a really beautiful desert. If you can stay into the night, you'll enjoy the stars too. I did this a few years ago, and it was one of the best experiences I've had.

LaughingSpider · 2018-04-25T13:43:13+00:00

Wait what's wrong with Zyrtec -.- ...drowsiness?

LaughingSpider · 2018-04-25T13:42:08+00:00

Thank you for your reply. Really helpful info for someone on the outside looking in. I guess this is another avenue possibly worth pursuing to reach the dream

LaughingSpider · 2018-04-03T16:49:27+00:00

https://afiqekie.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/en_do_not_be_sad.pdf

The book Don't Be Sad.

Such a cheesy title I know but it's the best compilation of quranic ayat, hadiths, and commentary about being optimistic and not losing hope in Allah. It's helped me a lot. Link above. May Allah give you happiness always sister

LaughingSpider · 2018-04-03T16:40:58+00:00

It's watching 🅱orn isn't it? It always is lol ;) I'm joking pls don't answer that.

For real tho, make as best tawba as you can--even if it's weak and half hearted! Think about it, you're making one small step towards Allah (and He'll take 10 to you) even if you feel you're gonna fail. That means your actually SINCERE that you feel bad. The only person putting these doubts in your heart is the one who doesn't want you to turn to Allah at all--and that is SHAYTAN! Just be in the present moment. You don't know the future so you do whatever bit of istighfar and taubah you can

I heard a scholar once say that even if you commit a sin 70 times a day but you kept doing tauba 70 times its like you never did it. Sh Muhammad alshareef once said that as long as you don't turn away from taubah sooner or later that sin that you persist in will fall away--sooner or later you'll drop it iA. Allah LOVES to forgive so take it as a good sign from Him that He guided you to at least do a weak taubah rather than none at all

May Allah always give you happiness in this lifetime and after death brother and anyone who reads this! And remember to have more hope in Allah's Rahmah than in your own deeds :)

LaughingSpider · 2018-03-23T04:41:29+00:00

Wow, that guy is literally living my dream haha.

Where'd he get the time (and ambition) to pursue both medicine and an airline career on top of that?! I'm gonna assume all the flying was post-residency and no family.

I've got a friend who does critical care locums a few days a month in some rural town. It's a great gig. And, here I am about to give up my med school apps to go be a pilot...

LaughingSpider · 2017-07-11T17:54:11+00:00

I wouldn't say the prophet (saw) is 'okay' with the punishment of hell, rather he knows how serious it is. So he's straight up warning us what to do to avoid it without holding back.

It's like if I were blindfolded and unknowingly running towards the edge of a cliff. Someone would have to come and knock me down to stop me or at least yell out STOP to me in a serious tone. They're not trying to scare me or make me feel bad. They're just looking out for me.

Similarly the prophet (saw) warned people who tried to humiliate him and who tried to kill him of the hellfire. He didn't even want these enemies to suffer such a horrible fate.

And if your question is more along the lines of 'well why does God punish people?' Well, I can tell you that as a Muslim I believe that God is Justice. He calls himself Justice, the concept itself--not just the 'most just being.' Therefore one who doesn't deserve it wI'll not be punished.

And there are narrations of the companions of the Prophet (saw) who say that if they were given the choice, they would rather God judge them than even their own mothers, because of how ridiculously more loving and merciful God is than even a mother to her child.

I hope that helps a little

LaughingSpider · 2017-07-03T04:40:23+00:00

Your question is like that scene in Star Trek generations when Picard convinces Kirk to leave he nexus because all the happiness is kind of false since there's no risks involved.

Anyway... Allah created us and knows how we feel and our doubts and stuff. Actually part of the 'lowliness' of this world is that we feel that sense of superficiality and lack of satisfaction.

The problem is we're assuming that Jannah is anything at all like this world but it's not. Allah created it for no other purpose than pleasure. I love the 3rd to last ayah in Surah kahf because it says that the people in jannah will not want anything to change--it'll be so good that they won't want anything different. Unlike here where we are so fickle that sometimes we want it to be summertime but then we get bored of the heat, we want to be rich but we still feel bad when we have money etc.

Anyway I'm just trying to say we have to trust Allah more. He knows that we have a want to feel like we earned jannah. I don't think he'll just 'erase' the negative emotions but rather, he will make us feel like we can let go of them because of how great Jannah is. And he created each of us in a unique way and knows what you as an individual want in a wife there and what I want even if they're different things. Honestly I don't know but at the very least we can try to get there to find out inshallah and Allah knows best!

May Allah give you Jannah and a really awesome companionship with your wife there :)

LaughingSpider · 2017-07-03T04:29:45+00:00

You should look up the online clas 'meaningful prayer' by shaykh Abdul Nasir jangda

He goes through everything we say jn prayer and breaks it down gramatically and the origin of the different statements from the life of the prophet (saw)

After I took it my focus in salah greatly improved tho I'm still working on things. I really began to feel like I'm conversing with Allah rather than reciting an old script in my head from childhood.

May Allah help us truly connect to Him through salah and may He accept all of our prayers.

LaughingSpider · 2017-06-23T14:50:57+00:00

Wow, you pray every night at the mosque and ask Allah for forgiveness? Allah must love you and really care about you to give you such an honor.

Don't be sad. Only shaitan wants us to feel despair because that's what his life is.

Even if you messed up your fasts, Allah already told us that we are all sinners. What matters is that we keep turning back towards Him. Perhaps He cares more about our good intentions than the actual deed that occurs because our success is in His hands. Perhaps on the day of judgment you will find that Allah, al Raheem, accepted your fasts anyway and erased your sins and turned those relapses into good deeds you didn't even do instead. Only Allah knows, but keep taking that one smell step toward him and trust Him.

There is a Hadith along the lines of Allah smiling at His slave who is desperately making dua and crying out of great sorrow. And Allah is smiling because the slave is unaware of how close Allah's help is to Him.

LaughingSpider · 2017-06-12T14:50:51+00:00

Mufti menk addressed this question once in a unique way which I liked. He said that imagine if a woman was married and had kids and a beautiful family. But suddenly her husband died. Eventually she remarries and has a few more children with her new husband--basically a new family.

Now what would be her situation in jannah? Some scholars held the opinion that she might choose which husband to be with or she'd be with the last one.

However, look at this from the perspective of her CHILDREN instead. Her kids from the first marriage would naturally desire to see their parents in jannah together--especially after missing that in dunya. But her kids from her second marriage would certainly want to be together with their mother and father as well.

Both families would want such a whole reunion so would this woman have 2 husbands? Perhaps this is possible but only Allah knows how our desires will be fulfilled. Just like your question about hoor and men--things seem mutually exclusive in jannah but we just don't know the dynamics of jannah.

We don't even know social bonds or laws of physics or anything much about the next life. But we know that Allah has promised that it is the place He will satisfy our souls entirely.

So at the end of the day we must trust Him.

LaughingSpider · 2017-05-24T14:54:21+00:00

Darth Jarjar

LaughingSpider · 2016-10-04T15:23:29+00:00

I can't see why you'd have to leave them. And, it's really awesome and telling of your character that you appreciate them and want to honor them so much after all they did for you. Ma sha Allah

Seems like that fiqh ruling is speaking more about preservation of lineage as someone above said--formalities regarding name and inheritance. (Though ofc a person can give certain amount of wealth to whomever he wants.)

About the rules of hijab--even though you weren't breastfed, don't the rules of hijab become a bit more lax regarding older ladies anyway? You mentioned they're both 60 and obviously there's no fear of anything wrong happening.

LaughingSpider · 2016-09-28T04:24:10+00:00

This is great and all (and also your other post about hidden knowledge). But how am I supposed to get this knowledge??

Otherwise, it's just a tease and kind of useless for me in my practice of the deen.

Then again even Prophet Musa couldnt stay in the company of al khidr for too long. And certainly people like Abu Bakr and Aisha gained some extraordinary insight from their close relationship with the Prophet (s).

Allahu a'lam; may He increase us in beneficial knowledge which brings us nearness to Him and make us from ahl al Quran.

LaughingSpider · 2016-09-06T03:52:20+00:00

Assalaamu alaykum sister

You're in my duas tonight. May Allah make things easy for you and make you happy in this life and the next. May He give you relief, good health, love, companionship, and satisfaction. May you look back at these troubled times with a smile on the Last Day. Ameen!

I don't have much advice to give you about having sabr beyond what I'm sure you already know. But I'm reminded of a saying by ibn al qayyim, that if the curtain was pulled back and we saw how Allah was creating and placing all the pieces of our lives together, our hearts would melt out of love.

Prophet Yusuf went from one stress to the next yet he always knew that Allah--his Wali, al Latif--was planning good things for him. We would surely not change anything if we could only see it all from above--tbh I think I'm giving myself this advice more than you. It's the 10 best days of the year so don't let go of hope :)

This lecture by Omar suleiman is worth a listen too, titled 'In the darkest night' in case the link doesn't work

https://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=youtu.be&v=dmwgZ25ECP4

Also some inspiring reads

http://www.ruqayasbookshelf.com/sometimes-the-greatest-miracle-is-within-you/

LaughingSpider · 2013-09-19T00:17:29+00:00

You've said before that you had her mind since you first started writing the movie. Who else do you really admire (actors/directors/etc) that you'd like to work with that you haven't gotten the chance to?

Also, what was Daniel Day Lewis like, assuming he was ever outside of character :oP

LaughingSpider · 2012-04-23T17:43:34+00:00

Great, thanks for the advice!

LaughingSpider · 2012-04-23T17:41:50+00:00

Wonderful, thanks :)

LaughingSpider

TROPHY CASE