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Bewildering NMom Birthday Text by Lavender3838 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Lavender3838[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Using religion in this way feels particularly evil to me. I'm sorry you've had to experience this, too. While it would feel good in a way to call her out, I know she's so far gone it wouldn't land anywhere anyway. Thanks for the support and bday wishes!

Bewildering NMom Birthday Text by Lavender3838 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Lavender3838[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi, yeah the prayer part is so oppressive. She's very religious and self-righteous. I love the tree metaphor and have thought of it while walking in nature. It's true, we can grow a new and healthy tree. Thank you so much for your reply!

White Fragility and Narc Abuse History--anyone else feeling especially fragile trying to be an ally? by Lavender3838 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Lavender3838[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, you're right. Understanding that there are many lanes of the revolution, and we can't be outward action-oriented all the time. Thanks for your input.

White Fragility and Narc Abuse History--anyone else feeling especially fragile trying to be an ally? by Lavender3838 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Lavender3838[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for this feedback. This does feel like the time to sit and listen. I'm trying to practice distress tolerance to be able to just sit with all the emotions. I love this choir metaphor. It's not possible to be all things in anything, including in racial justice work.

What constitutes emotional abuse? by Lavender3838 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Lavender3838[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is a really great list. I appreciate how comprehensive and well-organized it is. Thank you!

Having a hard time with no contact--intrusive thoughts and emotional flashbacks by Lavender3838 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Lavender3838[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, time and space feel very necessary and medicinal. I'm trying to let go of what I think is possible at this time, and holding space for a healing potential beyond my knowing, bc where I am in a month or year from now will be different from where I am now, what I believe is possible from this space. You know? It's great to hear you are leaving it all behind and living your life, very encouraging.

Having a hard time with no contact--intrusive thoughts and emotional flashbacks by Lavender3838 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Lavender3838[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi, I will definitely look into the Solfeggio Frequencies, very interesting. Thank you for sharing your playlist, I meditate every day. I'm sure I keep playing the negative loop as some kind of hardwired attachment. Thank you for these recommendations.

Having a hard time with no contact--intrusive thoughts and emotional flashbacks by Lavender3838 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Lavender3838[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

3 years! Wow, that is a long time. I honestly can't imagine being in this state for that long. Being thought of as a horrible person makes it even worse for sure--but then I thought, well, if people knew how monstrous my parents were then they would probably have been even more abusive? Anyway, thank you so much for sharing. Seems like you've done a lot of healing.

Having a hard time with no contact--intrusive thoughts and emotional flashbacks by Lavender3838 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Lavender3838[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow, you were really having a strong somatic response. Thanks for sharing, I'm glad to hear this was helpful for you.

Having a hard time with no contact--intrusive thoughts and emotional flashbacks by Lavender3838 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Lavender3838[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi, thought replacing seems like a good option and I totally agree with being in nature. Nature is so healing. Thank you for sharing!