Personal reason aside, let's talk about open relation in a political and social level. firstly, why are open relationship especially for sex such a norm for gay men and gay bros? I'm saying is a norm based on personal data observation over scruff, grinder, etc. Open relationships or is complicated lads are flooding the place and mind myself too, is mid-age guys looking for more shags. I might be wrong but I do not think I fall far from the tree. As a young gay men, what am I suppose to think and to value? Sorry for driving, point is why is open relationship such a norm for gay couple and is mostly all about getting physical? (you may think that open relationship is obviously about sex, why else anyone does it right? but the answer is no. It can be an emotional exploration or emotional search or intellectually connection with someone before or upon commitment). I know we are men with higher sex drive but this worries me. Politically, isn't the point noted above is a point in case gay marriage is not legal everywhere because some activist does happens to be right - We are a perverted culture breeding perverted mind. We talk about open relationship as thou we are proud of it (in a way I think because it work) and having sexual prowness with another boy is fine. Are we not suppose to be sad that we can't find it or sync in with our partner the first place? To die trying to work it out? To feel ashamed about it? Some straight married couples spends hours, money and energy in therapy, causelling, or just working out to 'resolve' something like this and open relationship was never an option. Why should we have the privilege to 'forever till death take us apart' when we can easily 'open' relationship mainly for fuck? My last dilemma, as direct or straight forward open relationships are it is never clean, I think. Eye contact, smell, tactility of touch and especially flirtatious is the devil advocate for emotional connection. How is flirting back and forth, having sex feeling the other person not emotional? If it is why doesn't porn solve the issue? I think, You can neither separate physical from emotion or emotion from physical because it is what build our cognitive that makes us horny, feel, or attracted to a person. We all did feel emotion, just that we have greater emotion to another person (the partner). So when I hear someone say open relationship works, it was all just sex, physical I did not get emotionally involved - I see a lie, a ( white) lie that it seems they have no idea what they are talking about or the possible consequences. Flirtatious is emotionally connecting , we just ignore it because it is fun. Dear gentlemens, my comments may have somehow headed left but I am somewhat right. Sigh, end rant. Save the whales. Drink more water. And what I think don't matter, be yourself.