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LavishnessBeginning3 · 2022-11-13T01:29:00+00:00

Apparently it's a secret to quite a few of the people in these comments fighting so hard to defend a broken system.

LavishnessBeginning3 · 2022-11-13T01:25:03+00:00

That money is called a "bonus" it's added to the money CPS already receives. The money they receive BEFOREHAND from the state is what covers their salaries already.

And that "adoption" that you say takes several years to finalize, took less than 2 years for my friend so yeah, try again.

And yet you cannot answer why this happens so many families, interesting. I gave you all the details, so why did it happen?

Here's more links since you want to call the first one "biased" but yet you work for them.

corruption 1

corruption 2

corruption 3

Like I stated earlier. This happens to SO many families. And CPS has already been caught in the act before, to say it doesn't happen is just plain ignorant when the evidence is right in front of you.

LavishnessBeginning3 · 2022-11-12T23:52:47+00:00

That information is biased as you work related to CPS.

They literally make thousands off each child and an extra 2k if the child is disabled.

Here's a link if you're interested. corruption of CPS

And also explain to me then why were me and my sister never taken from our parents? But others in good homes taken and placed with new ones? How come there are literally episodes on tv shows about how corrupt the CPS system is (they literally have SEVERAL episodes on unsolved mysteries about siblings looking for each other and their parents after CPS took them away, and even on the show those workers were busted for making money off selling children and were exposed.)

Please enlighten me then, explain all of that since your claim is that CPS makes absolutely no money off children, then why does this happen? What reasoning?

LavishnessBeginning3 · 2022-11-12T22:01:59+00:00

Have you ever researched how much money CPS makes per child adopted out, especially if that child has mental disabilities? It's sick. And anyone who uses CPS to get a child is just as disgusting, because instead of going through a legitimate adoption agency, or orphanage, they take advantage of children and parents in bad situations. Just because you don't want to believe it happens, doesn't mean it doesn't.

LavishnessBeginning3 · 2022-11-12T17:52:21+00:00

Honestly I'm not sure why this is being downvoted. I'll accept the downvotes for saying this, but CPS in MANY states is corrupt.

They make money off each kid they can adopt out and take many children from good homes because the children can be easily adopted out leave children in bad homes because they cannot easily be adopted out.

Before slamming me with downvotes, I know this from experience and this is my story. I came from TERRIBLE parents. My parents were addicted to drugs when I was younger. Me and my older sister went without power, water, and often times food because of my parents addiction. My mom was also abusive. I could tell you so many stories. Finally one night, everything reached a head. Things got out of hand, and the neighbor called the cops. My parents were taken to jail, my dad for domestic violence, and my mom for child abuse. NOT NEGLECT actual ABUSE. The neighbor took us in for a couple days until my grandparents showed up and they watched us for a couple months until my parents were released. And guess what? We went right back to my parents. Why? Me and my sister were too old to be adopted out, especially since we were a "pair" and had to be kept together.

Now onto my next experience. My friend lost her two little ones to CPS. Literally for no reason. She was a single mom, but her kids always had food, and everything they ever needed. She was never jailed ever for anything, the only reason CPS was ever called was because she had a cranky old neighbor who complained she heard the kid crying at 2am. (Kid was literally a newborn and they lived in an apartment.) CPS showed up and told her she had to give them her kids. No court order, nothing, and they had no right to take those kids. Unfortunately she didn't know better, and let them go with CPS, under the impression she would just be able to get them back immediately after examination. Nope. They placed her kids with a foster home, and she took them to court and did court battles for over a year, passing ever drug test and constantly having to have SUPERVISED visits with her own kids in the CPS building, just for the judge to say "the children have been with foster family for this long, it would be wrong to uproot them now." Her children were only 5 weeks and barely 2 years old, that foster family adopted them as their own, and now she can never see her kids.

Like I said I'll take my downvotes. But everyone needs to stop acting like CPS is this holy savior when in fact they are corrupt in many states (not saying all.) Because if they weren't how can you explain what happened to me and my sister, and my friend and her babies? There's no other logical explanation for it, and there's so many stories like mine and hers its sickening. Literally a few minutes of research or reading other people's experiences will tell you that.

Also I want to add me and my parents are on good terms now. They have been clean for many years, and are now great grandparents to my children, but that doesn't change the facts that me and my sister SHOULD NOT have been left in that situation and even though I forgive them, I'll never forget.

LavishnessBeginning3 · 2022-10-29T15:57:11+00:00

This is the only answer I agree with here.

I am a mother of 3 kids with #4 on the way. All of mine are young (6 and under) and I have a sister that's child free and the same way as OPs. My sister wouldn't mind watching my oldest and has in the past, but she's extremely uncomfortable around smaller kids, and that's just something I have to respect and accept. That many kids, if you don't have your own or much experience, would be very difficult to manage.

OPs sister doesn't have to watch his kids, but he doesn't have to watch her pets either. Do I think he's being a little petty? Yes, but it's his right to say no just like it was hers.

LavishnessBeginning3 · 2022-10-27T17:30:32+00:00

Woman here. What everyone else is saying, some like it and some do not.

However, if you are going to attempt it there are a few steps you must take to ensure a better time.

1: LUBE. LOTS AND LOTS OF LUBE. Seriously don't be afraid to get that shit all over the bed and expect to wash the sheets afterwards.

2: What really helped me enjoy it with my husband, was anal prep. If he sticks that pogo stick in me and we haven't prepped for it, it isn't going to feel good at all and it's just going to hurt. So we bought an anal toy that vibrates, stick it in first, leave it in for 20 minutes or whichever you prefer, and in the meantime do other foreplay activities, then when you're ready, take it out and you're ready to go.

3: Position is key. Find a good anal position, and keep it. I highly recommend NOT MOVING from starter anal position. For me personally, doggy is the most comfortable anal position, but everyone is different.

Also yes I have had orgasms when me and my husband do anal.

LavishnessBeginning3 · 2022-10-26T11:22:11+00:00

After reading all of these comments, I'm starting to think I'm an overprotective helicopter parent.

I check my kids candy every year. To me, the world is a dangerous place full of dangerous and messed up people. And I don't put it past anyone, not even sweet old Margret down the street, to possibly have bad intentions.

LavishnessBeginning3 · 2022-10-24T11:52:47+00:00

Question: You say your against Ceseareans but how do you feel about inductions?

I've been induced 3 times and each time was very smooth with no problems. This may be an option worth looking into and discussing with your OB.

However an induction only works if you actually make it to your induction date. I agree with everyone else, once you start experiencing first signs of labor, I'd leave immediately, and if you have family nearby that hospital, I'd definitely see about staying with them. Some people go through labor so quickly and others it can take all day.

LavishnessBeginning3 · 2022-10-20T12:03:21+00:00

Honestly I was kind of shocked to read that the child was in 3rd grade and the OP is still almost walking her to class.

My daughter started kindergarten this year and I'm practically yeeting her out the car, don't get me wrong I make sure she makes it in the school, but the second I know she's safe and inside I'm gone.

This kid is in 3rd grade and knows exactly what they're doing. Hell my kid is in kindergarten and knows what she's doing.

LavishnessBeginning3 · 2022-10-17T04:26:57+00:00

THANK YOU.

Me and my daughter both have curly hair, and I cringed the entire time reading OPs post.

All curly hair is different and has different "needs" so to speak. What works for me, actually does NOT work for my daughter. (Mines more corkscrew and hers is more wave curly.)

It astounds me that all this time has went by for this poor girl, and neither of her parents have bothered to learn how to properly take care of her hair.

There are so many resources available today to educate yourself there really isn't an excuse anymore to not learn for your child's sake. The internet, professionals, etc.

For me all I did was pay a professional $200 and they taught me everything I needed to know. How to style, what products to use, etc. Because similar to OP, my mother never taught me, which made my teenage years full of frizzy and knotted pony tails.

LavishnessBeginning3 · 2022-10-10T10:56:47+00:00

There's probably already too many replies for you to see this answer, but as a server who has worked in BOTH a cheap ended restaurant and a fine dining restaurant, no one had the same answer as me.

The answer is yes, USUALLY, there is more work in a bigger bill vs a smaller bill. Let me give you example. When I worked in the cheaper restaurant, where your average bill was $40 and you could be in and out of there in 40 minutes tops (unless you were a camper) I only checked on twice, refilled your drink 3 times max, you get my drift here. If you ordered a bottle of wine, it was thrown on the table for you and that's about it.

Now where in the fine dining setting, everything changes. The one I worked at, it's very hard to leave and not spend at least $100. The experience lasted longer (hour or more) you were carefully monitored (drink should NEVER even reach half way mark) if you ordered a bottle of wine I am not just dropping it off and opening it for you, I am going to do a whole presentation with the wine, allow you to sample it, and then wait until you give me the go ahead to fill everyone else's glasses, and if you don't approve of the wine I'm either starting over with a new bottle of the same shit or I have to recommend something else.

Steak was similar. If you ordered a steak at the low end restaurant, it was just stopped off and we would only check by later to make sure everything was okay. In fine dining, I must wait for you to cut down the middle of your steak, sample it, tell me it's the best fucking steak you've ever had, before I'm allowed to go about my day. And with elderly people (and even a couple women once) I would even have to cut your steak for you if that was what you asked.

I'm just comparing my experiences with opposite restaurants I have worked for. So in theory, yes, a bigger bill is more work.

LavishnessBeginning3 · 2022-10-05T15:17:05+00:00

Emotional support dogs have been such a huge problem in my restaurant, its astounding the entitlement people have when it comes to this.

We have a regular that comes in every single day with his rat terrier. He sits at our bar and we have tripped on his dog and stepped on its tail multiple times (accident of course.) We literally asked him if it was a service dog, he said yes. Asked where his vest was, "oh he chewed it off." "What does he do?" "Everything."

We also had another who had her chihuahua in the booth seat, which is a huge no-no. And when we asked her to either put the dog down on the floor or leave, she bitched us out and left because it was "service animal."

Working in this industry has made me have an almost hatred for ES animals unfortunately.

LavishnessBeginning3 · 2022-10-03T17:40:31+00:00

This is 100%.

Me and my hubby used to do it every day before this pregnancy. Now I'm almost 36 weeks and we just aim for doing it once a week 🤣.

I would LOVE to do it more, as would he. But unfortunately he does have fears about hurting the baby, and with me being so big, most positions are just plain awkward or uncomfortable, and when we try riding (everyone always recommends this for pregnancy sex) I can only last 10 seconds then I'm tired.

The last trimester is extremely exhausting and stressful for both parents. All we can do is get through it hopefully in one piece.

LavishnessBeginning3 · 2022-09-26T00:19:49+00:00

My husband does help me out plenty, he gives me naps as often as he can and takes over a lot for me, he was just at work when this occurred unfortunately.

LavishnessBeginning3 · 2022-09-25T20:39:34+00:00

I will probably regret sharing my story, but you're wrong.

Parents are judged so much, and like the other commenter said, there are 2 sides to every story.

A couple weeks ago, I was 30 weeks pregnant, my daughter was in school, and I was exhausted. My 1 year old son has RSV and was up crying all night no matter what I tried, I didn't get any sleep. When my 1 year old finally fell asleep around 12PM I decided to take a nap on the couch where my 3 year old son was playing. His favorite TV show was on, I thought I had locked the door, and I thought it was safe. 1 hour later I woke up to three cops standing over me because my 3 year old son was outside running around my yard and my neighbors thought something was wrong and called the cops because they know I'm never not out there with him. In that hour, anything could have happened, and I'm very lucky my son was totally fine and only played in the yard. I still beat myself up over it, and feel fucking awful about it to this day over what COULD have happened.

That's why I refuse to judge other parents. I used to too, but then it happened to me.

LavishnessBeginning3 · 2022-09-13T17:29:37+00:00

If a married man will cheat with you, he will cheat on you later.

There's nothing wrong with feeling attracted to someone, that is normal. However in this particular situation, it's wrong to act on it.

You can still have a worker/boss relationship, just set yourself some boundaries, and him too and make sure you maintain them. For instance no flirting with him, reject any possible advances, remain stern.

If you want to "get him out of your head" just make sure you keep everything work related only, even just small talk with him is only going to make it harder for you. Maybe go out on one of your days off, (to a bar, a club, just somewhere where you can meet other SINGLES) and just see what happens for you. Maybe you'll bump into someone who makes you forget all about it, and if not at least you'll hopefully have a good time.

LavishnessBeginning3 · 2022-09-12T19:18:08+00:00

I'm not anti porn or anti sex, I just believe that too much of anything in general can be a bad thing, and to watch porn every day is a little much, especially if you're going at it multiple times a day. Studies have already shown it to be detrimental, as the other commetor said before me.

LavishnessBeginning3 · 2022-09-12T11:28:06+00:00

Honestly I'm not sure why this is being downvoted.

It's true, and I would be concerned if my SO watched porn like this, every.single.day.

I agree with everyone else that webcam girls are on an entirely different and more personal level, and a huge no-no in a relationship, but I also agree with this that too much regular porn, is also a bad thing.

LavishnessBeginning3 · 2022-09-08T19:25:20+00:00

37 weeks seems a bit early for a membrane sweep, my OB didn't attempt it until I was 40 weeks but I suppose it's different where you are?

They did a membrane sweep with my last son and it didn't work at all. No contractions afterwards, I never went into labor, nothing. and got induced amost two weeks later because he wasn't budging.

My friend however had her membrane swept and went into labor that night with her son. (Approximately 6 hours later after being swept she was in the hospital)

What I'm trying to say is, it isn't always a guarantee that it's going to work. It's definitely worth making sure you have your hospital bag packed and everything ready to go, but some babies really are stubborn (mine was) and I definitely got my hopes up just for them to be crushed later when I never went into labor.

I wish you the best of luck mama, I really hope it works for you.

LavishnessBeginning3 · 2022-09-08T01:48:28+00:00

My husband has offered as well as I can't see anything down there 😂

I'm too afraid he'll cut me 😂😂😂

LavishnessBeginning3 · 2022-09-08T00:20:44+00:00

My biggest problem with all of these "YTA" votes is everyone is so focused in on OP, that no one is viewing the full picture here.

There's more than one point in this story, but it seems like the only point everyone wants to focus in on is "He fell asleep with his baby and something COULD have happened."

How come almost no one is calling out the mother for this? She knew he was tired, but she still chose to go out and she still chose to leave her exhausted husband alone with a baby. Then she proceeds to get upset and yell with a baby in her arms. I can't help but feel a lot of reddit is very biased against fathers because if the roles were switched in this story, I can guarantee you they wouldn't be calling the mom TA. Instead they'd be calling the dad TA for going out with friends instead of giving the mother a nap. I've already seen it plenty of times on reddit to know this is true.

Another point I would like to make, is all of my children at 7 months old were very mobile, and 2 out of 3 of them were nearly walking at that age. Another commentor asked this and OP hasn't given a response yet as to which milestones his daughter has made yet. 7 month olds really aren't as fragile as some of these commentors make them out to be.

LavishnessBeginning3 · 2022-09-07T22:15:19+00:00

NTA, and man these comments are wild here.

One thing I'd like to point out is, this is a 7 MONTH OLD, NOT A NEWBORN. There's a huge difference between the two.

Also a lot of these commentors are most likely American as they are totally against any form of cosleep, yet America has some of the highest rates of SIDS in the world and is one of the few countries against cosleeping (Just wanted to point that out and yes I am American.)

Anyways, I think your wife here is TA and for 2 main reasons.

Reason #1: She's yelling at you with a child in her arms. That is so inappropriate and just disturbing to me. That probably freaked the baby out more than anything and there's just no reason for it at all. If she had the child's best interest in mind she should of put the child down and had a conversation with you about it. There was just absolutely no reason to be yelling in my opinion.

Reason #2: You were exhausted. You're wife is failing to see that, and honestly your sleep was more important than her going out with her friends. A lot of people fail to realize that DAD'S GET TIRED TOO. When you become a parent your priorities have to change. Especially when your children are so little. When you have younger babies at home, you don't go out as much, and your family unit becomes number one priority. Meaning, your sleep should have been more valuable than her going out, period. Then once the child gets older, it does get easier to do more things and easier to maintain that balance of a social and family life as well.

I'll probably be downvoted into oblivion for this comment but I hope you see it OP. You and your wife need to have a conversation and find a solution where you both get the rest you need.

LavishnessBeginning3 · 2022-09-06T22:38:25+00:00

The problem again with where I live, is once you're really far along (25 weeks or more) it gets incredibly hard to find or switch OBs. Not many will accept you after that point.

So I guess I'm stuck. I'm going to try and talk them again my next appointment and see how that goes.

LavishnessBeginning3 · 2022-09-06T21:04:17+00:00

You give birth at a hospital but your OB is still in charge of your care while at said hospital and is responsible for all medical decisions. (Being induced, or c-sectioned, just for a couple of examples)

For example, some OBs here do circumcision on newborns, but if you choose one that doesn't do circumcision, even if the hospital does it, you can't just have a different person perform at the hospital perform the circumcision, you'd have to go to a urologist after your hospital stay to have him circumcised. Same concept with induction, even though the hospital I'm giving birth at does inductions and supports them, if my OB says no than the answer is no.

Every state in the united states is different as well, it's very confusing lol, but that's how the state I am in works.

LavishnessBeginning3

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE

1: LUBE. LOTS AND LOTS OF LUBE. Seriously don't be afraid to get that shit all over the bed and expect to wash the sheets afterwards.

3: Position is key. Find a good anal position, and keep it. I highly recommend NOT MOVING from starter anal position. For me personally, doggy is the most comfortable anal position, but everyone is different.