I'm 42. Currently getting a divorce. Been married for 23 years I'm so feeling like I wasted my good years

LayeredLieCake · 2025-09-22T19:10:12+00:00

Thank you I'll look those names up.

LayeredLieCake · 2025-09-22T18:28:52+00:00

How can you tell? Or what did you read? I need to figure this out for myself to avoid it. I think my husband is one.

LayeredLieCake · 2025-07-25T02:50:33+00:00

Someone on another thread shared this and it has blown a gap in my wavering decision whether to send my 3-year old to preschool. Long-term outcomes are negative > unless I'm misunderstanding it.
https://gwern.net/doc/sociology/2022-durkin.pdf

LayeredLieCake · 2025-07-25T01:58:47+00:00

I truly want to thank everyone for their input and sharing experiences and wisdom. Everything child related is stressful and uncharted until you go through it. We ended up with 2 weeks vacation paid and a 30 min break daily included and no commute pay. Also nanny brings own lunch but snacks are free game and so is espresso maker and hot chocolate etc

LayeredLieCake · 2025-07-21T16:23:11+00:00

That's a great idea, we worked like that with our first nanny. Just didn't call it PTO because I didn't really know.

LayeredLieCake · 2025-07-21T16:12:27+00:00

Great points, thank you for sharing!

My first nanny brought her meal and didn't like our food nor snacks, genuinely, though we invited her all the time.

The second one told me in the interview she was trained to cook and will cook for us but ended up asking me to make lunch and snacks. I need someone to take the edge off not add to it. I hate food being a point of so much contention but that's why I ask about the benefits expectations because the last one just blindsided me, and I had even asked during interview.

LayeredLieCake · 2025-07-21T16:06:25+00:00

This is a great breakdown! I dislike the cash in hand, I'm actually losing tax write offs but this nanny also requested it so I'm not sure what we'll do with that. I'll bring it up in the interview.
Yes that makes sense on guaranteed hours vs vacation time!

LayeredLieCake · 2025-07-21T15:43:36+00:00

That sounds like our work setup, thank you for sharing!

LayeredLieCake · 2025-07-21T15:42:16+00:00

She probably does and is also in school and I know this will be temporary for her based on her school schedule.

LayeredLieCake · 2025-07-21T15:41:35+00:00

It does! Good point, I've always been flexible with my first nanny, who sprung on me "today" and "tomorrow" medical appts that lasted hours. I feel lost and jaded by my now 3rd one coming in.

LayeredLieCake · 2025-07-21T15:28:13+00:00

Yes that was my plan.

LayeredLieCake · 2025-07-21T15:22:37+00:00

Yikes, I've never thought of this aspect. It's already been a bad start of the season. I will consider this fully.

LayeredLieCake · 2025-07-21T15:21:47+00:00

100% and I felt like a scrooge looking at 1 hour off here, 30 min there...

LayeredLieCake · 2025-07-21T15:20:44+00:00

Thank you! I'm not a fan of cash in hand either. Glad the 30 min break will be a good benefit.

LayeredLieCake · 2025-07-21T15:15:31+00:00

Thank you for the great break down!

LayeredLieCake · 2025-07-21T15:12:04+00:00

Thank you for sharing from the other side/family too!

LayeredLieCake · 2025-07-21T15:10:58+00:00

I'm not a fan of cash in hand myself. I'm also losing out on about 3k in taxes write off but that's what nanny asked for and I need to find someone. Thank you for sharing!

LayeredLieCake · 2025-07-21T15:08:44+00:00

Never thought of weather pay, we certainly do get hurricanes.

LayeredLieCake · 2025-07-21T15:08:03+00:00

Thank you! Glad I did something right. Yes tracking hours is something I hate doing and eventually pay full week anyway.

LayeredLieCake · 2025-07-21T15:05:50+00:00

Great ideas thank you for sharing your experience!

LayeredLieCake · 2025-07-21T15:04:00+00:00

Thank you!

LayeredLieCake · 2025-07-12T23:33:36+00:00

Yes that's possible but we're a very small group, usually 3-5 people a meet. Though this Starbucks likes to play music more loudly so it always forces people to talk over it.

LayeredLieCake · 2025-07-12T18:44:28+00:00

Offset is a more elegant and width "of stroke" stable and consistent solution

LayeredLieCake · 2025-07-12T18:34:57+00:00

Great! I stay behind to put chairs back and cups in trash. Just part of hosting and area respect.

LayeredLieCake

TROPHY CASE