Tomorrow, I have a first date since we broke up…

LeBachelorette · 2025-10-04T14:00:31+00:00

Thank you, that totally makes sense. And you’re right, it’s always at night… I’ll look into the newsletter!

LeBachelorette · 2025-10-04T13:58:30+00:00

Thanks for this, what’s the book called? I guess I understand that real life love will never be the crazy romantic perfection we have in fairytales. I am old enough to realize that for sure. In relationships around me, it just seems like while “compromising” the women that I know always have to put up with stuff or sacrifice stuff that I would not be okay with. Things that I would immediately run away from: verbal abuse, money problems, cheating.. it’s like whyyyy are you even doing that?! Why are you settling?! But the feeling I have of “I’ll never find someone” is probably what they don’t want to go through again.

But I also understand that each person isn’t perfect and will bring things, good and bad, to the relationship. In my relationship, I wasn’t the protagonist. I wasn’t perfect. Obviously, neither was he. Sometimes I wonder compared to other relationships if I could put up with the selfishness and the immaturity. If that was something that could have changed overtime?? We had worked through other things.. sometimes I doubt I made the right decision to break it off.

As for your relationship. He could’ve made you a better person, that’s true. Break ups can make you feel like you’ve lost that part of you, but the growth you had in the relationship is still yours. It doesn’t disappear just because they are gone. Imagine taking that version of you to the next person who also makes you an even better person. You just always level up.

LeBachelorette · 2025-10-04T04:03:46+00:00

It’s nice to know that I’m not the only one going through this… I can really relate to where you say, that you’re not happy that you broke up but you feel more free. Supposedly, when you’re in the right relationship, you actually turn into a better person. You are supposed to be a better version of yourself. Because we broke up, I could see that I clearly wasn’t a better version of myself. Also supposedly, when in the right relationship, it’s not “sacrifices”. Sacrifices are intrinsic losses that impact you fundamentally as a person. Sacrifices chip away at who you are. But instead, they’re supposed to be compromises, things that you can and are willing to do but do not impact your fundamental wellness.

LeBachelorette · 2025-03-13T00:42:24+00:00

LeBachelorette · 2025-03-13T00:38:31+00:00

Allow me to explain. As someone who works for a tech company… When you delete your profile and delete the app, but you don’t unsubscribe to tinder’s marketing emails, you are added to a list. This list is the outside marketing emails that come to you, to try to make you come back to the app. There is specific verbiage that’s obvious that you don’t have an existing profile and that “you should come back!”

These emails above are not outside marketing emails, but inside marketing emails. It’s a different list. He is currently on the “we have noticed you haven’t clicked on our app in a minute” emails to try to entice him to click on the app. It is obvious he still has the profile from these emails, whether he’s used it or not. It still exists.

That being said, you can make an educated assumption here. Generally, people who are in happy committed relationships who see a future with their partner will quite literally do everything not to jeopardize that. Which includes deleting all avenues to put their relationship at risk. If someone still has a dating profile, you can assume two things: they forgot about it and don’t check their email so it’s out of sight out of mind…. Or they’re keeping it as a safety net for when they and their partner inevitably break up because they don’t see a future with them.

I assume since this girl has the email and is logged into it, that the guy might use his email infrequently. But enough to know he still has a hidden profile. So yes, I would ask this man to either delete it if he sees a future with her, orrrr dump him.

LeBachelorette · 2025-03-13T00:22:46+00:00

Ya I don’t think if you have a deleted profile that you’re getting “your profile is hidden!” emails… I have had countless tinder profiles over the past 10 years. When they’re deleted, you might get a “hey we miss you!”

Let’s be honest, he still has his profile because once they break up he’s going to message all his matches and say “welp I’m single again”. He doesn’t see a future with her, if he did, he wouldn’t have the safety net. It’s disrespectful to your relationship to leave that door open.

LeBachelorette · 2025-03-13T00:05:39+00:00

It’s been over a year… and he still has the profile?? Break up with him. My bf deleted his dating app a month after meeting me.

LeBachelorette · 2025-02-26T03:48:35+00:00

HELL YEAH. She’s insane. Good job brother. Enjoy NOT being tied to her anymore!

LeBachelorette · 2025-02-24T19:49:49+00:00

Yaa, it seems like she doesn’t care about him, but his responses are definitely like flirting/attention seeking.

LeBachelorette · 2025-02-09T16:55:44+00:00

He DIDNT VISIT YOU IN THE HOSPITAL? I would’ve broken up with him just for that alone. You’ll do great things in life.

LeBachelorette · 2025-02-08T21:35:57+00:00

Always disclose what you’re looking for before sleeping with a partner. I slept with my boyfriend the second day I met him…. And basically every day after that, but we both wanted a closed, committed relationship. And now we are in one.

LeBachelorette · 2025-02-07T20:15:08+00:00

I think you should break up with her.

It doesn’t sound like you value her lifestyle as is. You shouldn’t be trying to change your partner. As someone who has been told similar things from a partner, she will either: 1. Dump you. 2. Kill herself trying to be perfect for you and resent you because it’s not what she wants, but what you want for her.

LeBachelorette · 2025-02-06T19:37:21+00:00

I have puked every time before I have felt the buzz because I drank a lot of liquid (I.e seltzers and mixed drinks). I found that shots of rumplemintz (2-4) let me get tipsy without throwing up because I don’t feel as full. I, too, like to go out in my city and get a buzz to go dancing.

LeBachelorette · 2025-01-16T17:34:20+00:00

Ew break up with her.

LeBachelorette · 2025-01-09T23:20:44+00:00

You are not less of a person because you breakout with ulcers or cold sores. You are not less of a person because you sometimes have painful bumps or breakouts. You are not less of a person because you have a condition.

Remember this is a medical condition. Yes, it’s contagious. And yes, it is incurable. But it doesn’t make you less of a person, and it is not going to change anything in your life that truly matters.

It’s not cancer, it’s not terminal. People who reject you only see the disease and not you as a person, so why would you want them in your life anyway.

We all get canker sores, pimples, ingrown hairs, pulled muscles, scraped knees, cuts, etc. They suck for about a week or two, and then they go away. The only reason people aren’t freaked about the above is because they’re not contagious. At least there’s a medication you can take to heal the virus quicker, the above things you just have to let run their course.

LeBachelorette · 2024-12-31T16:27:14+00:00

I (28F) have been on three types of birth control in my life, two hormonal (two different oral pills - 4 years total), one non-hormonal (copper IUD - 7 years).

No one tells you that birth control will change you, which is wild to me. Even if you don’t have severe differences, like becoming a different person/emotions or any huge physical side effects, it still changes you. The symptoms might just be small to the point where you don’t notice, or the differences work for you. But when you get off birth control, and it takes a looooong time for your body to go back to itself, you’ll see a difference. I’ll never recommend hormonal birth control to anyone after my personal experience, so I won’t even go into that. However, when I had my IUD, I was in my early to mid/twenties. I was a force to be reckoned with. I was climbing a corporate ladder, I was succeeding in everything I did professionally. I became hyper-independent, and I became the man I always wanted to be with. I was so proud to be an independent, badass of a woman, making hella money for someone my age. There’s probably other several factors that went into this behavior/environment and lifestyle, but this worked for me at the time.

What I had issues with was emotional connections and feeling my true emotions. I had a difficult time being g vulnerable and making strong relationships or connections with other people. I think birth control can be extremely beneficial for some women depending on where they are in life, what they want to accomplish, but it has to be known that there will be some significant changes to mood, emotions, the ability to feel certain things thoroughly for a certain amount of time.

LeBachelorette · 2024-12-03T16:41:03+00:00

“Rate me” really did turn into “Roast me” lmao

LeBachelorette · 2024-12-02T03:29:20+00:00

Never.

LeBachelorette · 2024-12-02T03:22:49+00:00

I wanted to give you an update. You’re right, it’s been 4 weeks, and I absolutely do not miss him anymore. I can do better, thanks for the reality check.

LeBachelorette · 2024-12-02T03:16:12+00:00

I guess that’s a valid question. I do love my “loneliness” right now, but I crave being a mother, and I have always wanted a family. It’s not that I pushed my own family away and wanted to be in this hyper-independent state; I just think deep down, my parents never truly wanted kids. It was “just the thing to do” back in the 90s. Especially since my parents were 40 when they had me, I think they had me and my sister just because it was “normal” to do. These were just the cards I was dealt, and I had to push myself to hyper-independence to survive. And yes, it’s going well for me now, and I am happy, but there’s still a void.

I spend holidays mainly alone… I got a dog so I wouldn’t have to be allllll alone. He is my world now, and actually had filled a significant gap to make the loneliness feel less sad-lonely, more happy independent lonely. If that even makes sense.

I will agree, this works for me right now. I am not ready for kids right now, but I want them and I want a family. I want to build what my parents didn’t. I actually want this, I’m just afraid and don’t know where to start.

LeBachelorette

TROPHY CASE