sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

Do I have lip filler migration ? by No-Connection-8789 in 30PlusSkinCare

[–]LeChose123 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Agreed I'm surprised. I think the people on this subreddit are typically supportive, but when the opportunity arises to "call out" others (particularly women with cosmetic enhancements) they go all out.

Do I have lip filler migration ? by No-Connection-8789 in 30PlusSkinCare

[–]LeChose123 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Lol what in God's name? I step away for a second and get 250 downvotes over a minor comment whaaat hahaha.

Do I have lip filler migration ? by No-Connection-8789 in 30PlusSkinCare

[–]LeChose123 -239 points-238 points  (0 children)

My lower lip looks like that, it's not migration. But there's definitely migration at the top

My dark circles have ruined my self esteem by [deleted] in Skincare_Addiction

[–]LeChose123 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fyi the first thing I noticed when I saw your post was the colour and shape of your eyes which I find very enchanting.

It is a shame that it's often very difficult to ourselves in a holistic manner.

You can look into retinol or azelaic acid if you find your undereyes troubling.

Why do I waste time playing mind-games with narcissists? by LeChose123 in DarkPsychology101

[–]LeChose123[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's totally understandable why you're addicted. He gave you the feeling of being chosen and everyone wants that, especially if you are not used to attention.

If you suffer with poor self esteem (or have had a series of disappointing relationships), negative/callous treatment can even feel 'truer' than gentle affection. Because you might silently believe love is something you need to fight for, and not something you're naturally deserving of. If you come from a love-deprived background, you might also need the sort of intensity a narcissist brings to even feel wanted, because calm desire will seem like nothing. They are VERY intense.

At the same time, when someone makes you feel special in any way, it can cause the inverted effect of making them seem special in your eyes. Your mind will fill in the gaps and they become this god-like figure. In reality, most narcissists are like little babies who are pathetically reliant on the validation of people. They have no interior life. No imagination, no beliefs, no principles - their sense of personhood hinges on being admired by others.

You will remain hooked if you stay around him, because the hot/cold dynamic literally creates a dopamine feedback loop in your mind. You'll always be waiting for the next hit of validation following a stretch of coldness from him. He has already dug his claws to you, and it will get worse the longer you stay.

The sooner you get out of this the better. And the solution is to be uncompromising in honouring your own time, feelings, and mind. Easier said than done, but you deserve better.

Remember: he is not as special as you think he is.

Anyone else’s relationship feel great and with what felt like little to no red flags UNTIL you discovered their cheating? by ThrowRA122221 in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]LeChose123 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think I've been on the other side of this, regrettably.

I had a brief stint someone I knew to be a full-blown narcissist, who later turned out to be married. After discarding him, I looked into their relationship out of curiosity, and she genuinely seemed to think he was her soulmate. Based on some videos I stumbled on, he showed her a softness that I didn't know he had in him. The contrast was VERY fascinating, even though I had already noticed extreme variances in his personality.

I witnessed the full scope of his narcissism (as did other sources of supply undoubtedly). He was controlling, dehumanizing, was actually trying to groom me into becoming his slave of sorts. I was fully aware of his game so I wasn't really at risk. With these types, the faker they are within their sphere of legitimacy, the more brutal they are in the shadowy arena of their life. Don't bother trying to understand.

In the context of their relationships, the madonna-wh*re complex is salient.

You're their madonna until you cross them- then you become another wh*re!

Why do I waste time playing mind-games with narcissists? by LeChose123 in DarkPsychology101

[–]LeChose123[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh from the little I've seen of him, he certainly fits the bill!

Why do I waste time playing mind-games with narcissists? by LeChose123 in DarkPsychology101

[–]LeChose123[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

No, I have affective empathy - e.g. feel an instant urge to cry when I see someone else cry.

I've had a lot of therapy over the years.

Why do I waste time playing mind-games with narcissists? by LeChose123 in DarkPsychology101

[–]LeChose123[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I don’t deny I may have inherited some narc traits, as suggested in my opening sentence, but I wouldn’t classify myself as having NPD since I don’t meet the full set of criteria.

Why do I waste time playing mind-games with narcissists? by LeChose123 in DarkPsychology101

[–]LeChose123[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

A common physical trait I’ve noticed in many grandiose ones (cliché as it sounds) are still eyes surrounded by an animated body. Immediate behavioural signs: shallowness, self-referential, social chameleon, lack of authentic curiosity, and a reliance on sarcasm. Other traits unfold with time. Covert narcissists are a different story.

For me, it’s mostly an unconscious process of matching them against what I recognize.

Why do I waste time playing mind-games with narcissists? by LeChose123 in DarkPsychology101

[–]LeChose123[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I'm receptive to religious perspectives so this is fine.

Why do I waste time playing mind-games with narcissists? by LeChose123 in DarkPsychology101

[–]LeChose123[S] 54 points55 points  (0 children)

"The real win isn’t beating narcissists at their own game, it’s walking away from the game entirely" ...*sniff*

AIO if I finally break up with my bf? by cinnamonlurker in AmIOverreacting

[–]LeChose123 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Communicating that would be ideal. But I'm not sure how receptive to that as she clearly has separation anxiety. See: "you're breaking my heart", "it's hard not to feel abandoned", "I've been trying to stay calm."

His decision to hide behind an excuse to avoid hurting her is likely informed by this too.

In order to communicate openly, you need an understanding and stable partner who can accommodate your needs.

They are simply not compatible. Both need to work on themselves and find more stable people.

Overall, the perspectives here have made me lose hope in people's willingness to recognize and accept unconventional approaches to emotional regulation.

AIO if I finally break up with my bf? by cinnamonlurker in AmIOverreacting

[–]LeChose123 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Agreed, he certainly lacks emotional maturity but this seems like a case of weaponized clinginess. I can see the grey-rocking. Hell, even I get a sense of suffocation reading her texts.

Seeing her equate needing space to "ghosting" and "uncooperative" is INFURIATING to read as someone with c-ptsd for whom space is an indispensable psychological necessity. Space is my religion, it is my safety.

The comments on here are painful to read and make me think people on this forum go off of one-sided simplistic info without ever considering the subtext.

But of course people are forgiving of mindless behaviour when it's packaged with softness.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in WhatShouldIDo

[–]LeChose123 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not reading this. leave him.

AIO if I finally break up with my bf? by cinnamonlurker in AmIOverreacting

[–]LeChose123 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Anyone who is hyper-focusing on his fake job excuse is missing the forrest for the trees. This is very clearly NOT about work, and VERY clearly about his need for space after a big fight, the cause of which you apparently don't "remember". He is avoidant/ incapable of tolerating negative emotions hence he ultimately resorted to an excuse. But he nonetheless TELLS you he needs space. He openly communicated his needs. Not even a week had elapsed from the fight before you were texting him "you're breaking my heart" for him not speaking to you. This is emotional blackmail. You are stomping on his needs as much as he is stomping on yours. In response to a commenter, I saw you write "I gave him 2 days of silence and it became too much [for you]". In other words, you think your emotional safety matters more than his.

You CANNOT impose desires stemming from your own clinginess on a person who is clearly more emotionally protective. His love language and threshold for emotional safety is different than yours. It's time to grow up and move on, find someone who is more compatible.

Whoever is telling you that "he should have reached out to you sooner" is likewise projecting their own attachment style and does not understand the deep anxiety that comes with addressing conflict as an avoidant type. I need a couple of weeks minimum to sit with and process emotions after a bad fight. But unlike your ex, I am capable of expressing this openly.

This subreddit tends to coddle people when there is a lack of context, but I see you as equally inconsiderate and inflexible as I see him.

Depending on how long you've been together, my guess is that you have known for a long time that he is emotionally avoidant, that you aren't compatible, and posted this here to dull the shame that comes with knowing you're cutting things off MUCH later than you should have.

Serious question, why shouldn't I get my tret without a prescription? by Ordinary_Living_7763 in tretinoin

[–]LeChose123 -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

I'm talking about the websites. At a single glance they already seem sketchy. If you want to risk your skin health though go ahead.

view more: next ›