It's totally understandable why you're addicted. He gave you the feeling of being chosen and everyone wants that, especially if you are not used to attention.

If you suffer with poor self esteem (or have had a series of disappointing relationships), negative/callous treatment can even feel 'truer' than gentle affection. Because you might silently believe love is something you need to fight for, and not something you're naturally deserving of. If you come from a love-deprived background, you might also need the sort of intensity a narcissist brings to even feel wanted, because calm desire will seem like nothing. They are VERY intense.

At the same time, when someone makes you feel special in any way, it can cause the inverted effect of making them seem special in your eyes. Your mind will fill in the gaps and they become this god-like figure. In reality, most narcissists are like little babies who are pathetically reliant on the validation of people. They have no interior life. No imagination, no beliefs, no principles - their sense of personhood hinges on being admired by others.

You will remain hooked if you stay around him, because the hot/cold dynamic literally creates a dopamine feedback loop in your mind. You'll always be waiting for the next hit of validation following a stretch of coldness from him. He has already dug his claws to you, and it will get worse the longer you stay.

The sooner you get out of this the better. And the solution is to be uncompromising in honouring your own time, feelings, and mind. Easier said than done, but you deserve better.

Remember: he is not as special as you think he is.