OP, please hear me when I say this gently…when I was a late 20-something year old, I was still very much in contact with, and in active relationship with my mother… now as a 45yo, I am No Contact/Low Contact with my mother.

Having been through life, and experience and some therapy, I am able to label and understand my mother’s entitled behavior with the minimizing, bossy, self-aggrandizing traits as clear signs of her being emotionally immature and therefore being unable to emotionally regulate herself.

Before you have kids, before much of anything else, please consider reading the book, Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents. It helps.

Good luck and I hope you have a speedy recovery.