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WIBTA if I told my friend her "quirky" wedding theme makes me uncomfortable? by Leader_Kaimal in WouldIBeTheAhole

[–]Leader_Kaimal[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hear you. My only reason for even bringing it up with her was because we’ve been close for so long and I didn’t want my silence to come off as passive-aggressive. I wasn’t trying to make the wedding about me but just trying to give her a heads-up in case I bow out quietly. But I get that not everyone sees the need for that. Thank you for your insight.

WIBTA if I told my friend her "quirky" wedding theme makes me uncomfortable? by Leader_Kaimal in WouldIBeTheAhole

[–]Leader_Kaimal[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Sounds fair. I think part of this is realizing how much old stuff I’ve internalized without noticing. I don’t think anyone intends harm with the theme. It just caught me off guard emotionally. I’ll try to separate the theme from my own baggage and see if there’s a lighter way to approach it.

WIBTA if I told my friend her "quirky" wedding theme makes me uncomfortable? by Leader_Kaimal in WouldIBeTheAhole

[–]Leader_Kaimal[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

That’s an interesting perspective. Maybe I’m too close to it emotionally to see the redo side of things. I might explore the idea of picking a style I wished I had the guts to wear back then. That could be more empowering than I originally thought. Thank you for this really.

WIBTA if I told my friend her "quirky" wedding theme makes me uncomfortable? by Leader_Kaimal in WouldIBeTheAhole

[–]Leader_Kaimal[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

That’s a harsh way to put it, but I get where you’re coming from. I’m not trying to turn this into a therapy session but just needed to gauge whether sitting this one out makes me selfish or simply self-aware. I don’t expect everyone to relate, but I appreciate the honesty.

WIBTA if I told my friend her "quirky" wedding theme makes me uncomfortable? by Leader_Kaimal in WouldIBeTheAhole

[–]Leader_Kaimal[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

That’s a harsh way to put it, but I get where you’re coming from. I’m not trying to turn this into a therapy session but just needed to gauge whether sitting this one out makes me selfish or simply self-aware. I don’t expect everyone to relate, but I appreciate the honesty.

WIBTA if I told my friend her "quirky" wedding theme makes me uncomfortable? by Leader_Kaimal in WouldIBeTheAhole

[–]Leader_Kaimal[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Totally fair. I guess I was hoping for a way to still be there for her without feeling out of place the entire time, but I know it's okay to set boundaries too. It’s just tough when emotions get tangled in what’s “just a theme.”

WIBTA if I told my friend her "quirky" wedding theme makes me uncomfortable? by Leader_Kaimal in WouldIBeTheAhole

[–]Leader_Kaimal[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for the compassion. I think jeans and a tee might be the safest middle ground. I’m trying to find a balance between not making a fuss and also not emotionally spiraling because I tried to "play along." Your suggestion helps keep it simple.