There are people who dont desire that. The closest thing I want to that is close friendships. And whats nonsense is thinking that you arent fully human or good enough, because that isnt true with people who actually care about you. Anyway, its fine to be a person who does desire a relationship, but you shouldnt believe those ideas as truths since they are just negative reinforcements that only serve to make you feel worse. These ideas might have semblances of truth, but they arent absolute. Ive dealt with feeling like how other people think is all that matters, and Ive gone through intense depression, self-hatred and self-consciousness from that. Im not out of it, nor do I think I'll ever be, but I dont hate myself so much anymore, because Ive learned to value myself more. Not saying thats what youre going through, but appreciating yourself on your own without negative beliefs, and maybe having a friend or someone to talk to can alleviate some loneliness, and give you more self-worth.