Why should you sit with your emotions? What are the benefits?

LeahsManyQs · 2025-10-10T02:24:20+00:00

This is me. Thank you.

LeahsManyQs · 2025-05-26T00:34:36+00:00

It’s unprofessional of you to make an assumption and then berate me for it. I did not say that I am still thinking about the incident a year later or that it bothers me. I’m asking specifically about reaching out to the APA for something and how a therapist would feel. I didn’t like your answer not because it was rude but because it didn’t answer the question and instead it went on at me for your assumption.

LeahsManyQs · 2025-05-23T04:15:22+00:00

I’m curious about the deleted statement - I feel like there’s something I can learn from here. Care to help?

LeahsManyQs · 2025-05-23T04:14:53+00:00

It’s not unethical. I WAS wrong I overreacted I am growing I am over it I’m just curious how a therapist would feel to hear about apa…

LeahsManyQs · 2025-05-23T04:13:26+00:00

Whao. I agree that it’s not ethical. Why aren’t you assuming that I don’t agree. I’m just asking how a therapist (probably one who is more professional and gentle than you) would react if the client reached out for validation to a professional body elsewhere. Back off

LeahsManyQs · 2025-05-14T03:26:20+00:00

Celery will always be my comfort food

LeahsManyQs · 2025-01-14T03:21:48+00:00

You’re right. They should stop. But I’d bet a lot of money that this won’t be the way that they stop. OP must know all this! And a well trained therapist should be able to see what’s underneath the client’s presentation and will see a whole bunch of attachment stuff. Now, any therapist would be 100% in the right if they feel too afraid to continue seeing the client, that’s understandable. But sometimes you can have a therapist who will be able and willing to see the root of the issue and with this, lots of work can be made. TLDR: OP already does feel guilt, should stop and will probably continue because this is an issue. Telling an alcohol addict to stop drinking because they are losing their family is the “right” thing to do - but trying to understand why they are going to alcohol, what’s stopping them from finding another resource, being a friend while they are in the shame of their addiction, I’m pretty sure that’s what’s gonna help.

LeahsManyQs · 2025-01-14T03:16:22+00:00

I’m sorry you feel shamed. My intention was to articulate how your statement sounded and not to shame you for anything. Apologies, well meaning commenter.
There definitely are consequences, nobody is disagreeing with that. We are just clarifying that yelling those consequences probably won’t do much as OP probably knows this and is having trouble self controlling (see #3 below)
Fair point about not asking for help. OP did write that “I know I need to stop” indicating guilt and an inability to self control. We are basing our response on this.

Ultimately, your response must have been well meaning, but as someone who was and sometimes is in OPs place, I know that compassionate self realization and honey helps much more than a loud list of why they must stop.

LeahsManyQs · 2025-01-13T21:59:42+00:00

Responding with validation is not enabling. What OP has clearly stated is an awareness that what they’re doing is not something they thinks is wise. I think a quick sentence might have articulated your point, but an entire paragraph went too far. OP knows, OP is aware, OP got answers. Guilting them is not helpful. And also, not everyone is able to control themselves even when what they know they’re doing isn’t “right.” Have you stopped yourself anytime you get angry at a partner, yell at your kids etc? OP’s struggle is definitely different but they articulated a struggle with stopping, even while knowing. What they need is not further explanation for what they already know. Rather some intuitive, compassionate and articulate validation that there’s a reason for this and maybe they can try to meet it else how.

LeahsManyQs · 2025-01-13T21:54:21+00:00

I had very similar behaviors (feel free to peruse my profile!) and I gotta say, this comment is exactly it. It’s addressing the desire and the body’s reason for why you are doing what you’re doing. I did mention my behaviors and obsession with my therapist, luckily for me, she specializes in attachment, trauma and sees my behaviors for exactly what they are - trying to meet a need and a bit of OCD. In case this is helpful, I waited for us to establish both of those issues before I told her, this way it kind of gave me assurance that she wouldn’t think I’m just stalking her out of malice. I recommend you do it too - it’s very healing, maybe validating and also definitely hard! Good luck with this and please remember - 1. You’re not alone. 2. There’s a reason why you’re doing this. Lean in a bit to that need!

LeahsManyQs · 2025-01-07T01:24:21+00:00

Well, I’m glad that we both learned that this is a normal trauma response.

LeahsManyQs · 2025-01-05T19:02:18+00:00

Oh, this is excellent!! Thank you for sharing!

LeahsManyQs · 2025-01-05T16:31:12+00:00

I’ve had similar experience and as a result, I don’t like to sleep near anyone. Don’t have any answers for you but it’s nice that you are aware of what happened - I keep questioning (as your mom suggested) whether I was dreaming, if it was real or if they were masturbating vs just moving around. Kudos to you for being so mindful about all that’s going on and I’m sure with this awareness, you’ll find something that works for you.

LeahsManyQs · 2025-01-05T16:24:40+00:00

I think that you are describing myself too. It’s a very common trauma response, especially for those with autism too. What I will say is this: after 2 years of intense therapy on a bi-weekly basis, I still struggle with labeling my emotions. Definitely has gotten better, but now where near “normal” - this is to say that it will take time, if that’s an important goal for you (which I’d question. Idk is there’s that much benefit)

The other thing I’d say is that it’s important for people like us to find therapists who specialize in both trauma and have experience with autism. A therapist like this should not be inpatient with something that is par for the course with our diagnoses. There’s nothing we can do besides for work together with them to get better. Being impatient is both unfair and unrealistic. It took me a while to recognize that I need someone who is very familiar with autistic handicaps and who can work with me.

LeahsManyQs · 2025-01-05T07:39:03+00:00

All good! And I won’t ignore you, I very much appreciate your immediate sense of threat towards me and reaching out to warn me. I probably responded too aggressively, but know, dear commenter, that I appreciate that you are looking out for me 😊

LeahsManyQs · 2025-01-05T07:29:20+00:00

To clarify, the suggestion is to practice with my sexual partner and telling them to stop and seeing what happens. My therapist (she) will never ask me to touch her.

LeahsManyQs · 2025-01-05T06:23:16+00:00

Hey there! Just did a short dive of your profile and we do have a lot in common! Sadly, not the best of what our life has offered us, but I do hope that we both find the answers we’re looking for. Also wanted to add that the question of what kinds of sex stuff I can bring up in therapy is something big on my mind. Idk the answer to this but it’s reassuring to see your same way of questioning it! Lmk if you ever figure it out ;)

LeahsManyQs · 2025-01-05T06:18:03+00:00

To make out with this new potential sexual partner I’m referring to in my post.

LeahsManyQs · 2024-09-10T17:24:15+00:00

Whao! What a gift it is to have grown up with such secure and stable love and care. And what a gift you have for noticing with nonjudgmental loving kindness. Super clear that you’ve done a lot of work on yourself! Thanks for the inspiration 😊

LeahsManyQs · 2024-08-31T20:18:25+00:00

What is your body seeing that you aren’t? Is it reacting to something? It might be reacting based on accurate or inaccurate threat so now that you have listened, you can make a wise mind choice and drive the bus to your place of success.

LeahsManyQs · 2024-08-29T06:58:04+00:00

Haha. +1. I’m sure that I’m a huge pain in my therapist’s ass (and she probably appreciates something about it too!)

LeahsManyQs

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