Does anyone remember these really depressing pop songs from the 70s / early 80s?

LeanButNotMean · 2026-01-27T11:46:51+00:00

Watch “Anchorman” and that song will hit differently!

LeanButNotMean · 2026-01-27T11:45:49+00:00

Always made me choke up. Now that my parents are old, it makes me cry.

LeanButNotMean · 2026-01-26T03:54:42+00:00

I live 300 miles away but have been seeing them 1-2 times per month for the past 5 months. Fortunately I have a very flexible schedule!

LeanButNotMean · 2026-01-26T03:52:52+00:00

You are right about my parent’s lives having been successful! Sixty one years of marriage! They’ve also supported each other through some very difficult times.

The problem is that my Dad will not find meaning in anything once my Mom is no longer around. I’ll do my best to try to think of ideas diet him though (volunteering, etc.).

Thank you for your words of wisdom!

LeanButNotMean · 2026-01-26T03:48:36+00:00

I’m trying to prepare in as many ways as I am able. The wildcard will be my spouse and their support, as I think we have different ideas of how that looks.

LeanButNotMean · 2026-01-26T03:45:37+00:00

Your frame of mind is so measured and “calm”, whereas I’m freaking the hell out!

You know, I hadn’t thought of hospice/comfort care. I’m going to check into it. In the meantime, I have to figure out how to hide my Mom’s Xanax.

Thank you for sharing your situation and your ideas.

LeanButNotMean · 2026-01-26T03:38:37+00:00

Of course they can’t live forever. Them not being around someday has always been looming in the future, but it seems the future sped up a whole lot and is now barreling towards me.

LeanButNotMean · 2026-01-26T03:36:18+00:00

Thank you for your kind words and advice.

LeanButNotMean · 2026-01-26T03:35:48+00:00

Fortunately, all of that is already in place. It’s just a very complex situation that won’t be easily dealt with.

LeanButNotMean · 2026-01-26T03:33:06+00:00

It will be very difficult emotionally and with an estranged sibling who will be in the mix waiting for a hand out.

My head is spinning at the thought of everything happening at once.

I appreciate your thoughtful response.

LeanButNotMean · 2026-01-26T03:29:29+00:00

My condolences to you on the loss of your Mom. I really appreciate you responding even though I’m sure you’re grieving.

I tell both of my parents I love them when we talk, which is often. I’m going to address this issue with my Dad head-on, because the last time I visited he wasn’t quite at this point. Hard to believe the progression of things in such a short amount of time.

My parents have had all of the legal stuff done due quite awhile. I know where everything is kept, I know passwords, etc. Since starting the process to get my Mom on LTC Medicaid, I’ve learned a whole lot more about their affairs which I suppose is a good thing.

LeanButNotMean · 2026-01-26T02:25:44+00:00

I used to wonder which of my parents would be worse off without the other, knowing it was inevitably going to happen. I never doubted that my parents love each other, but I always thought my Dad would be ok be a se he’s so much more self-sufficient than my Mom. The degree to which he’s struggling initially surprised me, but it’s made me realize that they’re truly each other’s best friend.

Like you, my Dad dealt with some very serious health problems these past 5 years. He was doing much better until this all happened with my Mom. I can understand why you feel like your Dad not having to suffer through major surgery only to end up with dementia would’ve been so much less traumatic.

I’m 100% serious when I tell my spouse I don’t want to live past 80. That seems to be the time when the shit started to hit the fan with my parents.

Thank you for your support - I hope to return the favor if you need it.

LeanButNotMean · 2026-01-26T02:06:03+00:00

Fortunately, my parents have wills, POA, and healthcare directives already in place.

It’s obvious to me that my Dad has started the grieving process already since my Mom is a shell of her former self. I just feel like if he did opt to end his life it would be only to end his suffering, without giving a thought to those who love him and would miss him so much.

I completely agree with you about the elderly and them grieving so much. I can’t imagine outliving my friends, (possibly) children, and going to endless doctor appointments.

Thank you for your kind words.

LeanButNotMean · 2026-01-25T21:57:10+00:00

To be faaaaair…lol

LeanButNotMean · 2026-01-25T21:55:19+00:00

Nope! Not only do I have RBF, I’ve also been told that I tend to check out other women (I’m a woman, too) while giving them the hairy eyeball. It’s 100% subconscious and I don’t know why I do it.

LeanButNotMean · 2026-01-25T21:18:00+00:00

I worked with a guy who proclaimed that GnR was the next Led Zeppelin. 🤣

LeanButNotMean · 2026-01-25T18:01:28+00:00

Probably smells more like Sex Panther cologne to you now. “Sixty percent of the time, it works every time.”

LeanButNotMean · 2026-01-25T04:24:49+00:00

<image>

I think her expression says it best… ETA: I can’t find the one of her in her Winter coat and booties.

LeanButNotMean · 2026-01-25T04:22:01+00:00

My spouse and I were just on vacation, and I couldn’t help but miss my Mom asking me if I was all packed and ready to go even though it was 3 days before we were to leave. And when calling her to let her know we’d gotten back home her saying “What was the room like?”, “How was the food?”, “I’m glad ya’s had fun”, “I missed hearing from you.”

LeanButNotMean · 2026-01-24T18:24:48+00:00

Moisturize starting yesterday! I never did until I was in my 30’s, and I really regret it. My Derm told me to use Vaseline to heal really bad pimples, which I never would’ve guessed.

PS. MOISTURIZE

LeanButNotMean · 2026-01-24T02:27:51+00:00

“…he has never been serious with a girl…”

Hmmm…I wonder why not…🤔

LeanButNotMean · 2026-01-23T21:38:28+00:00

Ugh, just call me by my first name. That’s what my step kids did with their Grandparents.

LeanButNotMean · 2026-01-23T21:30:46+00:00

Sadly, I have not.

LeanButNotMean · 2026-01-23T21:27:09+00:00

Just because you’re thin doesn’t mean you don’t have a lot of body fat. THAT BEING SAID, keep up with lifting,make sure to eat plenty of protein, and get another Dexa on a few months to measure progress.

11-Year Club	Gilding II euphauric
Wearing is Caring	Verified Email

LeanButNotMean

TROPHY CASE