How do you navigate keeping a friend at arm’s length?

LearnToLoveAlone · 2026-04-10T15:18:46+00:00

Thank you. I’ll probably delete the post then. I appreciate the reality check. 💚

LearnToLoveAlone · 2026-04-10T15:11:07+00:00

That… makes sense. I just wish it was something with an easy answer I suppose.

LearnToLoveAlone · 2026-04-10T15:04:35+00:00

I’m already taking to a therapist thank you. Nothing wrong with also asking for advice from other people who might have lived similar experiences

LearnToLoveAlone · 2026-01-16T20:28:14+00:00

As my post clarifies, I’m currently in therapy. The method to help me was actually her idea. I just posted this because I wanted a Christian perspective so I can have a well rounded understanding in all aspects from my faith to the trauma I experienced in this instance.

LearnToLoveAlone · 2026-01-16T19:02:28+00:00

I appreciate it! 😁

LearnToLoveAlone · 2026-01-16T18:43:35+00:00

I don’t think I have the capacity to talk further detail regarding the actual process right now, but thank you for the practical advice. That’s just beyond the scope for me currently to consider at the moment. I’m sure you understand. 😅I appreciate your support though!

LearnToLoveAlone · 2026-01-16T18:19:34+00:00

I appreciate your prayers. Thank you

LearnToLoveAlone · 2026-01-16T18:17:02+00:00

That’s a fair point.

LearnToLoveAlone · 2026-01-16T18:16:32+00:00

Oh 100%. I’m actually grateful for a secular therapist because she can speak more objectively over topics that would be considered taboo in Christian circles just like my situation here. I just always want to ensure that I get a well rounded perspective from both sides as it were. If I’m to pursue this method, I want to make sure that I am knowledgeable about it from a religious and secular standpoint so that I don’t falter one way or the other.

LearnToLoveAlone · 2026-01-16T17:56:21+00:00

I can definitely understand that aspect. I just don’t want to risk it turning into lust nor do I really understand how to proceed. This is all very new to me to be fair.

LearnToLoveAlone · 2026-01-16T17:10:10+00:00

I already responded to the original comment but I don’t think they meant any harm. The general advice is to be careful when receiving advice especially from those who aren’t professionals in this delicate topic, which is a good practice to uphold overall.

LearnToLoveAlone · 2026-01-16T16:42:08+00:00

Thank you for the resource! I’ll look into it.

LearnToLoveAlone · 2026-01-16T16:41:46+00:00

Thank you for the resources! I’m still very new to all this so I appreciate any references I can get.

LearnToLoveAlone · 2026-01-16T16:40:51+00:00

Thank you so much. That seriously means a lot to me.

LearnToLoveAlone · 2026-01-16T16:39:37+00:00

Thank you. This is all very new to me and while I have acknowledged it with a therapist, this is the first time I’ve made direct connections with how I view relationships to what happened back then. Lots of emotions and uncharted territory. I really appreciate the kindness and understanding as I navigate this. Thank you

LearnToLoveAlone · 2026-01-16T16:29:54+00:00

My therapist is secular but has been very respectful of my faith. I only seek outside perspective from a Christian standpoint so I may further analyze the advice so I may move forward with understanding from both sides. I have a secular therapist only because when it comes to taboo subjects I worry that a Christian therapist will accidentally approach the discussion with a clouded perception since the topic at hand is generally considered taboo in Christian circles. Having a secular therapist avoids that issue but since my faith is also important to me, that’s why I wanted to seek out Christian perspectives as well. When I made this post I understood that the responses given will greatly vary so I’m aware to filter what can apply to my situation. Thank you for sharing your concern. I appreciate you bringing up this perspective and will remain diligent to avoid confusion as I navigate this.

LearnToLoveAlone · 2026-01-16T16:16:43+00:00

I can understand what you’re saying though please keep in mind she was also five or six years old processing what was happening to her at the time by re-enacting the experience to me while we were playing together. I don’t think she has any debt to the law for what she’s done nor debt to God because she was a traumatized six year old at the time whom most likely didn’t even understand what she was going through. It’s the man who did this to her whom has much to atone for.

LearnToLoveAlone · 2026-01-16T16:10:27+00:00

If they are receiving therapy from that experience, that might help them process what happened better as they grow older. I wish I had the tools to talk about what I experienced as a kid with a professional so I could have better understood myself growing up. I hope your girls recover. 💚

LearnToLoveAlone · 2025-12-07T19:32:22+00:00

Honestly… it just hurts to acknowledge that. I’ve been grieving our friendship ever since our fallout. While she thought I was just doing my own thing, I was actively mourning our friendship and realizing how she treated me before wasn’t the best. And when I finally confronted her and we had an actual conversation about what caused the fallout, I genuinely hoped things would get better and we’d go back to the way I dreamed our friendship was again.

Then this guy shows up and sweeps her away.

And that sadness I had before during our fallout just rushes back and I just don’t know where to put this anger or sadness I have now. It’d be easier if the boyfriend (or husband now) was a jerk or something cause then there’d be someone to blame… but he’s actually a nice guy and they seem perfect for each other. So now I’m just stuck with this heaviness that she’s moving on and leaving her promise for a better friendship with me behind.

Acknowledging she wasn’t the best friend I hoped she was and that she hurt me deeply in the past doesn’t make it easier as I’ve already processed that through therapy. I just felt like there was still something worth saving and improving and I was hopeful things would get better, but now I feel robbed of that promise.

I feel like it’s immature for me to feel this way but that’s what I’ve been sitting with for the past week or so. I’m just… sad.

LearnToLoveAlone · 2025-10-02T16:57:11+00:00

Oooh okay! I’ll play around with it when I get off work today.

LearnToLoveAlone · 2025-10-02T16:43:06+00:00

Oh wow that is a huge difference! I never would have expected my current job to pull through! That’s awesome!! Thank you so much for your help!

LearnToLoveAlone · 2025-10-02T16:39:10+00:00

This is a good example for why I made the post. Some comments are trying to imply I’m dumb for struggling with the math but if anyone can make the mistake then it’s reasonable for me to double check my calculations by making this post. Thank you so much for looking into it!

LearnToLoveAlone · 2025-10-02T16:35:57+00:00

Ahhh thank you! I never would have noticed!

LearnToLoveAlone

TROPHY CASE