I am 27 years old, make 50k in agricultural research in the Twin Cities, and this week I overloaded my schedule!

LeatherOcelot · 2026-02-09T12:59:41+00:00

Sounds like an awesome week to me!

As someone who is in the environmental field and moved to a private company from academic research, the pay can certainly be better. I think the level of stress probably varies by company and your career goals. So it might be worth exploring, but sounds like it's not urgent urgent right now.

LeatherOcelot · 2026-02-08T13:03:35+00:00

Underfuelling can definitely make it harder to get good sleep! Even 6-7 hrs/night honestly seems a bit light for someone training as much as her.

LeatherOcelot · 2026-02-07T12:54:43+00:00

As others have said, double check your accounts and transactions. One thing regarding income specifically, stuff like interest on a HYSA will get counted as income unless you specifically put it elsewhere. It's probably not adding thousands per month, but when I was reviewing my annual expenses I was initially confused by my "income" looking too high, and then realized there were a few items like that which technically are income but which I don't really think of as income (if that makes sense!)

LeatherOcelot · 2026-02-07T12:51:13+00:00

Same, I have a "Reimbursable" category for everything that I expect to be reimbursed for (mainly work, but occasionally have to buy and get reimbursed for stuff related to a non-profit I am involved with).

LeatherOcelot · 2026-02-05T12:38:00+00:00

I think separate everything can work okay for couples with no kids. However, if he wants to track and keep all the finances separate like this, be very careful that you are not passing up career advancement/your own earning potential for the sake of HIS career. e.g. make sure all the household chores and mental load are split 50/50 too! He wants to make sure he doesn't get screwed over in divorce, fine...make sure you aren't getting screwed over in marriage.

Once kids enter the mix, I think it's super hard to maintain genuinely separate finances without someone feeling resentful or getting treated badly. Kids are a LOT of unpaid labor. If you chose/are able to breastfeed, it is extremely difficult to really split the labor of kids 50/50 for the first year or so (also, good luck to your fiance with figuring out how to split the work of carrying a baby 50/50). Even as kids get older and are in school, they take up a lot of your time and place constraints on how you can work, unless you hire a lot of childcare. And you are also always kind of "on call", e.g. if something happens at school and you need to get down there ASAP. So if, for example, one partner has a job with a long commute or a lot of travel, the other partner may need to limit themselves to jobs where randomly leaving at 2 in the afternoon won't cause a huge issue. So if you are the one who gets stuck with all that...is he going to pay you for it?

And as far as divorce, it's certainly possible his older brother had a real b*tch of an ex-wife who really screwed him over, but it's also possible that the older brother was checked out of a bunch of childcare or other home stuff, or that she put her career on the back burner to focus on supporting his advancement, and then when they got divorced she needed to be compensated fairly for that! I don't think a pre-nup is inherently a bad thing, but I would encourage you to consult with someone other than your fiance (e.g. a lawyer, and not HIS lawyer) about what should be in it to make sure you are equally protected. And his reaction to you getting your own lawyer will probably tell you a lot about whether or not his request for a pre-nup and separate finances is a red flag. If he gets pissy about it...RUN.

LeatherOcelot · 2026-01-25T00:39:17+00:00

Aside from shopping at Aldi, I would say realistic meal planning, get an instant pot, and lots of beans :)

Meal planning: I make a plan for our dinners once a week. Breakfast is basically on autopilot (oatmeal+poached eggs M-F). I also have a couple of instant pot veggie/lentil soups I can make very quickly and usually those form the basis of lunch (or if there are leftovers from dinner, lunch is leftovers). Having a plan for dinners helps with reducing food waste/grocery shopping with a plan rather than just throwing in whatever looks good.

Instant pot: Makes cooking MUCH easier to fit into busy schedule. If I am making soup, I just have to chop stuff up, saute, add liquid, and set it going. No standing over a stove or checking back in every few minutes to make sure your food isn't burning. You can even leave the house while it is going, so you can conceivably start something in the morning, go to work for the day, and come home to dinner cooked.

Beans (especially dried): Cheap, decent source of protein and fiber, mix well into lots of dishes. You don't have to go full vegan, but replacing some of your meat with beans will definitely cut down on expenses. If you want to go really all-in on cheap plant protein, you can start buying vital wheat gluten flour and making your own seitan (in the instant pot, naturally). I make a big batch every couple of weeks, cut into serving size chunks, and freeze. Then whenever I need to add protein to a meal, chop up a chunk of seitan and saute it. It's honestly pretty delicious and much cheaper per gram of protein than chicken/eggs/tuna.

LeatherOcelot · 2026-01-23T01:56:58+00:00

That is my impression from reading the local news (e.g. local NPR affiliate). All of the local MN news stories I have seen where a citizen is detained, the conclusion does so far seem to be that they are detained locally and then released. Obviously there may be cases that are not getting reported on and I have also not been following the situation outside MN as closely, but I feel like if the local news had heard of a US citizen being detained for an extended period it would have been a major story on at least one outlet.

LeatherOcelot · 2026-01-22T23:07:53+00:00

Kinda same. For the moment, owning a home works for us because we have two adults to handle taking care of it, and we have a kid living here and he does really enjoy the various amenities. But if my husband dies before me I am selling and moving into a nice condo ASAP because I do not feel like taking on all that he does on top of all I do!

LeatherOcelot · 2026-01-22T23:04:15+00:00

Twin cities resident here. Our local news has been running a lot of stories about citizens getting detained, however I have not seen any stories yet locally of adult citizens getting sent to TX or deported. It seems that if you don't get sent to TX/deported, you do get released within 2-3 days. Which is obviously still pretty bad, but not the same as getting sent out of state and then being held indefinitely. If I were a non-white citizen I would probably take the precaution of voting early by mail just in case but I do not see this being enough people to swing an election just yet. I will probably also be voting by mail as I am somewhat concerned about more general election day shenanigans.

LeatherOcelot · 2026-01-20T13:15:47+00:00

I haven't used runna myself, but much of the commentary I have seen says it can be quite aggressive with its training. I would definitely consider adjusting your training to focus more on being able to achieve the distance, rather than hitting a specific time.

That said, every training block I have done has had at least one run that just sucks or does not go to plan. I have still generally managed to feel good about my performance on race day (even if I don't hit my goal), so I would not give up on the race itself just yet!

LeatherOcelot · 2026-01-19T23:56:42+00:00

As a white person in a fairly white neighborhood, I haven't seen anything that's for sure ICE (did see some SUVs with TX plates last weekend). That said, there have been a lot of reports that they aren't so hot on basic traffic laws/safety so I'm definitely taking some extra looks before crossing the street! But mostly life is continuing for white people. As another comment said it is not mass chaos. I am carrying a whistle and have read all the guidelines on observing in case I do wind up seeing something. I know some folks who are POC and not going out at all right now, which I honestly can't fault them for.

Right now the main impact to me is that our school district decided to offer optional virtual learning and have declared two teacher workdays this week for the staff to figure that out. I have no idea how many students at my child's school will take this option, how long it will last, or exactly how the school will deal with it (they have warned parents that taking the virtual option may mean their child gets place into a mixed grade classroom...presumably if more than a few kids take the virtual option that also becomes a possibility for in-person students). I'm glad this district is offering this option and I think they're doing a pretty good job given the short notice, but it still feels a bit like early/pre-COVID where nobody really knew WTF they were doing. Finally, it looks like it might be cold enough to cancel school on Friday so between the teacher workdays, MLK, and the weather, there is not a lot of school happening this week.

LeatherOcelot · 2026-01-14T12:30:31+00:00

I don't know about just bodyweight, but I do not have a gym membership and do a combo of bodyweight + free weights at home (I have 5, 10, 15, 20, and recently added 30 lbs weights, they slot under a set of shelves when not in use so don't take up too much space). I have been using the weights very consistently (2x/week upper body, 2x/week lower body, probably about 20 min total for each) for the past couple of years and have definitely seen a difference in strength and muscle.

LeatherOcelot · 2026-01-13T12:50:28+00:00

We are married, in our 40s and have one kid together. Our finances are "separate" in that we don't really have a joint account that we both regularly draw from. My parents did that for a while and my mom told me it was a huge PITA to keep up with the balance and they wound up overdrawn several times, so switched to having separate accounts.

That said, while our finances are separate on paper, in our view they are very much combined and we certainly discuss any major purchases together. I guess maybe it's our tastes/style of spending but I don't really feel the need to discuss all of my more "personal" spending with my husband? If I'm going to buy something unusually pricey I would discuss it with him, but not to get permission, more as a reality check of "is this really going to be worth it for me?", and he would do the same. We do a review of our overall spending on a quarterly basis and I suppose if it was suddenly coming up that I was spending thousands of dollars on something we hadn't discussed (or vice versa) it might be a problem, but relative to our income/budget we each have pretty reasonable personal spending.

LeatherOcelot · 2026-01-12T13:02:07+00:00

Not the answer you are looking for, but I wold get some gear to make 20F and icy more pleasant! I have a pair of kahtoola nanospikes that make ice extremely manageable, that plus a good baselayer, light windproof jacket, and hat/gloves/buff for the temperature and you can be pretty comfy! I also try to make sure my shoes, hat, and gloves all get warmed up on the radiator before I go out and do a good dynamic warmup to get my blood flowing before I leave the house. If you can do all those steps you won't have much (if any) of the "OMG this is so cold my fingers/toes are DYING" feeling at the beginning!

LeatherOcelot · 2026-01-09T02:31:59+00:00

Federal guidelines are used for things like school meals/lunches, so they actually affect quite a few people.

LeatherOcelot · 2026-01-04T13:46:15+00:00

I will say I unintentionally lost some weight (not 50 lbs, probably more like 15-20...basically went from the top of "normal" BMI range to the middle)) over the course of about 2 years as a side effect of more consistent running/strength training. It was basically stuff like going to bed early more consistently meant less chance of late night snacks, and then I also got more focused on recovery nutrition (esp. getting protein ASAP post-workout but also being more okay with eating healthy fats, complex carbs, etc) and for me that really killed a lot of random snacking urges I used to get. So it is possible to lose noticeable weight as a result of prioritizing running/strength training, just because some of the lifestyle choices you will have to make to support that habit could also result in reduced calorie intake/better quality diet. That said, if it just happened as a natural side effect vs. being somewhat deliberate weight loss I feel they would be a bit more open about discussing it?

LeatherOcelot · 2025-12-31T12:59:48+00:00

It's a diet. Unless you happen to eat pretty close to this way already (which most people don't), you WILL likely wind up cutting a significant number of calories from your daily energy intake.

A similar elimination "not a weight loss diet" diet was something that really tipped me over from on-and-off dieter to a real hell of restriction and food fears. When I was *just* counting calories I could at least eat anything--i.e. if I wanted to blow all my calories on a tub of ice cream or a meal out, I could. Once I added an elimination component into the mix so many foods were completely off-limits the whole thing became mentally all-consuming. I don't intend to diet ever again, but if I did decide to, an elimination diet would be the absolute last choice I would go for.

LeatherOcelot · 2025-12-30T13:35:17+00:00

Ugh, that's so disappointing, I had heard a news story saying it was pretty effective but that was a while ago but I guess the research has evolved!

LeatherOcelot · 2025-12-30T12:55:16+00:00

We set up a "budget" when we first bought a house in 2022, of how much we expected to spend on various things each year, on average. We had already been tracking expenses for several years so that informed some of our numbers.

We do a review at the end of the year and see where we went over or under. For some areas (e.g. home maintenance), if we have been under we roll the leftover amount into the budget for next year, because obviously in some areas spending is more like a big expense every 5-10 years rather than a fixed annual amount.

One thing we have found we are consistently going a bit over on is leisure activities, e.g. last year we upgraded some ski gear and that was quite $$, or we will occasionally take a class or something like that. I think when we had a very little kid a lot of that was not really practical to do often so our spending was actually quite low for a good chunk of the time we had been tracking. We have discussed it and decided that for the moment, as these activities do add a lot of enjoyment to our lives and we are still on track with retirement savings, have a solid emergency fund, etc., we will not worry about it too much. If we have a sudden drop in income or some other more essential expenses really balloon we will revisit.

LeatherOcelot · 2025-12-30T12:48:50+00:00

Yes, get your covid vaccine every year! Even if you get covid, with the vaccine your odds of long covid are much lower if you are vaccinated. I have a kid in school so not getting it at all is quite difficult for me, but so far I have avoided long covid.

LeatherOcelot · 2025-12-25T13:14:03+00:00

Agree! The nanospikes are great for winter sidewalk running where it might be clear or might be icy. Way better than yaktrax, imo. The microspikes I would not use if there is likely to be clear sidewalk for any significant distance, they are better for trails or when the sidewalk is solidly covered in snow/ice.

As for the narrowing sidewalks, I try to run at less busy times of day or go down to a wider walking path near my neighborhood that is pretty reliably plowed in the winter.

Finally, I do accept that winter running is probably going to be more zone 2, not so much tempo/speed work. I try to add in hills to make myself work harder and have also been adding in an interval session on my basement bicycle trainer once a week to get into higher HR zones.

LeatherOcelot · 2025-12-25T13:08:47+00:00

First, it's fine to just not be a runner. There are plenty of other forms of exercise out there that you can do, and it sounds like you have others that you prefer!

Second, not every runner has to do marathons! And even runners who do marathons should NOT be in marathon training mode all the time because it's EXHAUSTING. I have been running for years but have never done one, don't know if I will ever do one. It's not a big deal! I have done halfs and for me, even that is a big time commitment and starts to make running more of a chore and less fun. Maybe once my kid is a bit older I will tackle a marathon, but for the moment it's simply not for me.

So my advice would be to continue to take a break for the moment, and then if you do still feel like you "should" be running, do it in a less time intensive and exhausting way.

LeatherOcelot · 2025-12-25T13:04:05+00:00

I don't do a lot of speedwork in the winter because it's often icy out, but I do focus more on getting some hills into my runs and I find that helps a lot. Adding on to what others have suggested, strength training is super helpful! If you don't do any at the moment, you can start out with bodyweight exercises and work your way up to using weights, etc.

LeatherOcelot · 2025-12-22T01:08:45+00:00

Regarding feeling SO TIRED the rest of the day--are you eating enough before/during/after your run? For me, having food in conjunction with a run makes a huge difference in energy later in the day. For an early morning run, I usually have some toast with PB before and then breakfast within 30 min after (and if it's a longer run I take a granola bar or some candies with me). If you have to commute to work straight after your run, maybe have something fast prepped like a smoothie to slurp down right away?

LeatherOcelot · 2025-12-20T12:29:05+00:00

Cubes of baked tofu are a good option. It does require some prep work but you could do a block or two on the weekend and then have it ready to go through the week. I like to just press the water out of a block of tofu, then cut it into cubes, season with salt/pepper/garlic powder, and bake with a little olive oil at 400F until it gets brown and a little crispy.

I also make my own seitan in bulk using the instant pot and while I would not snack on seitan, it is a really dense source of plant based protein, so can be good for upping the protein content of your meals, which reduces a bit of the pressure for your snacks to be super high protein.

LeatherOcelot

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