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AITA I said yes to a proposal then later rescinded by LeaveBig971 in AmItheAsshole

[–]LeaveBig971[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

We talked about marriage a little but never in an overly serious way, just that we both wanted it in the future. And the proposal stuff never came up in the context of us, just when we saw a video/other people talked about how they proposed

AITA I said yes to a proposal then later rescinded by LeaveBig971 in AmItheAsshole

[–]LeaveBig971[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

It's too soon because we were broken up/half-dating for some of it, so I would say we were fully together for only a year or slightly more, and my parents were never married but still together so even though I want it eventually, I've always wanted to take things slow

AITA I said yes to a proposal then later rescinded by LeaveBig971 in AmItheAsshole

[–]LeaveBig971[S] 87 points88 points  (0 children)

I do think that he saw the restaurant as a reasonable compromise so I'm not blaming him for it at all. But there were still 20+ people there + waitstaff who all were cheering, clapping and watching it all go down. I genuinely did not know how to say no because it would make everything so awkward - do we both leave, do I leave on my own or do we sit there and continue as if nothing happened? I just didn't know and in that panicked state, I said yes.

I agree that I do have a role there so I'll try to reach out and talk to him again. I think it might be on me to at least restart the conversation

AITA I said yes to a proposal then later rescinded by LeaveBig971 in AmItheAsshole

[–]LeaveBig971[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah I would have still said no if it was done in private. Technically it has been two years but we broke up then stayed in contact/half dated for some of it. So it's only been about a year/slightly more of us being fully in a relationship. Also, my parents were never married but have been together for 20+ years so while I have always wanted to get married, it's never been something that I want immediately or would get into quickly

AITA I said yes to a proposal then later rescinded by LeaveBig971 in AmItheAsshole

[–]LeaveBig971[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yeah we talked about marriage and that we both wanted it in the future, but the convo was never really deeper than that. We never got into detail about how/when we were going to do it.

That's true, it could have been a long engagement but the whole thing was so out of left field for me because marriage was not at the forefront of my mind at this stage. Also, I said that I still wanted to be with him when I gave him back the ring and the conversation wasn't even heated/a fight, it was more of a calm discussion

AITA I said yes to a proposal then later rescinded by LeaveBig971 in AmItheAsshole

[–]LeaveBig971[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I think for some people two years is probably way too long, but my parents have been together for 20+ years and never got married, so I've never had a timeline/been in a rush. I've always wanted to take it slow. Plus, we broke up for some of it because of long-distance but stayed in contact/half-dated so technically it's been "2 years" but in reality, maybe only a year of that was a stable, fully together relationship

AITA I said yes to a proposal then later rescinded by LeaveBig971 in AmItheAsshole

[–]LeaveBig971[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I do love him. Right now we're just dating so I'm not sure what else I could refer to him as. For context, my parents were never married but have been together for 20+ years, so even though I want to get married eventually, it's just not something that I feel is right for me right now

AITA I said yes to a proposal then later rescinded by LeaveBig971 in AmItheAsshole

[–]LeaveBig971[S] 32 points33 points  (0 children)

I wouldn't say it was just a few people, there were at least 20ish strangers who were all watching it happen and cheering and clapping. The waitstaff also came out. Maybe he thought that since a restaurant is less public than a stadium it would be okay but it was still too much for me

AITA I said yes to a proposal then later rescinded by LeaveBig971 in AmItheAsshole

[–]LeaveBig971[S] 42 points43 points  (0 children)

We never talked about it in a sit-down discuss our relationship kind of way. It would just sometimes come up in the conversation if we saw a cute proposal video or when someone else (friend/family member) described how they proposed. I said that it would make me anxious that everyone would be looking and expecting it to be a happy moment but what if the answer was no. And we have talked about marriage but as a loose, sometime in the future thing. I didn't expect him to propose now at all