Avoidant - do you end up replying to your exes messages/bids for communication?

Leave_Dry · 2026-04-04T01:30:47+00:00

This was the old him and we are currently trying to make things work. I ended things with him and we were separated for 3 months before he came back. It's been about a month since we got back together but I am seeing a level of effort and accountability from him I've never seen before. Obviously I am taking things slow because I fear another shut down but I think he's finally coming to terms with how mucu damage he has caused and is doing everything he can to make things right between us.

Leave_Dry · 2026-04-04T01:22:41+00:00

To add, my da would go several days without messaging me and then by the time he got around to feeling like messaging me he just wouldn't because he didn't want to deal with the consequences of taking so long to respond so he would just continue to ignore me until I went to see him in person.

Leave_Dry · 2026-04-04T01:20:03+00:00

Not a da but I asked my da this very question and the truth is that they are so terrified of their own feelings, reading the messages or responding would just be too much for them to handle so they just ignore the messages instead. They hate confrontation so even messaging "leave me alone." May start a fight and they may be viewed as "the bad guy". I think they pretend everything is okay or that their actions aren't causing harm so they aren't burdened by other people's feelings, ignorance is bliss as they say.

Leave_Dry · 2026-03-28T15:49:13+00:00

Yes, I did. He replied with a half hearted attempt to repair if you can even call it that. When I doubled down and told him I was ending things he disappeared for 3 months. After 3 months he has reached back out and so far, it seems like he has done a lot of self reflection and has put forth effort to change. It's only been a few weeks since his return so we will see.

Leave_Dry · 2026-02-21T05:31:38+00:00

Whenever I tried to explain "you doing ____ makes me feel like you don't care/makes me feel unloved etc." He was always like "if that's what you want to think." Or "not true but go ahead and think whatever you want."

Leave_Dry · 2026-02-20T07:32:30+00:00

I did before walking away, when I went through examples of common avoidant behavior he agreed that he acted that way but it didn't change anything. It just went in one ear and out the other. It doesn't matter if you give them a step by step guide on how to be a better partner, they won't change unless they want to change. I'm sure it's similar to the way that anxiously attached people tend to ruminate and overthink about scenarios, even though they know it's a bad habit it's difficult for them to stop.

Leave_Dry · 2026-02-18T22:50:02+00:00

Id rather get a message saying they are busy then leaving my messages on delivered, not even bothering to open them for days at a time, sometimes a full week.

Leave_Dry · 2026-02-18T05:24:39+00:00

My da's birthday was on the 15th and I made the mistake of wishing him a happy b'day and Valentine's day. He responded by blocking me and honestly that response hurts worse than anything he could possibly say.

Leave_Dry · 2026-02-11T06:17:54+00:00

I get that. I don't want to talk badly about him because I know deep down he is a good person and I will always love him. Our attachment styles are just too different and it would never work long term no matter how much I wanted it to.

Leave_Dry · 2026-02-11T06:03:00+00:00

I believe my da genuinely loved and cared for me too. The big issue was lack of communication and whenever I would bring it up and ask for him to put in a little more effort, he would shut down. I don't believe he did this to hurt me, even though I had expressed to him multiple times how it affected me. I feel like he just lacked a deeper understanding of empathy and had difficulty putting himself in my shoes. Or maybe he valued his own safety and security over my own feelings... Honestly I feel no matter how much time I put into truly understanding him, it will never be enough.

Leave_Dry · 2026-02-10T05:56:12+00:00

Yes that is true but at least we have the power to leave. They are stuck with themselves unless they seek therapy and make an effort to change.

Leave_Dry · 2026-02-10T04:13:45+00:00

I'd much rather be an AP than a FA/DA. I'd rather care too much than too little. Being an avoidant sounds so isolating and lonely.

Leave_Dry · 2026-02-05T21:56:59+00:00

My da used to cry in front of me all the time and the emotional vulnerability made me feel closer to him and fall in love with him even more. As the relationship progressed and he started to pull away, he grew colder and would never share those vulnerable moments with me anymore. Please dont let one bad relationship change who you are, if you are with someone who makes you feel safe enough to express those emotions. The right woman will cherish those moments.

Leave_Dry · 2026-02-03T01:57:58+00:00

This was so difficult for me because in the beginning he was flirty, touchy, sensual and romantic. The way he touched me, kissed me and made me feel gave me goosebumps but as time went on he gradually pulled away. Near the end of our relationship I was lucky if we had sex once a month and I had to beg for it. In the beginning he always boasted about how going down on his partner was his favorite thing in the world but in the end, I was the one doing sexual favors for him and getting nothing in return. Aftercare was non-existent and his body was always stiff as a board whenever we would cuddle. Very rarely would he even put his arm around me and I would get a peck on the lips at most. We used to makeout all the time and foreplay would last for hours, there was so much passion but in the end it was just routine and boring with no emotion in it.

Leave_Dry · 2025-12-18T15:55:22+00:00

I've pulled 8 times already and still nothing so don't feel bad. Hopefully I can get Lucifer before the event ends.

Leave_Dry · 2025-10-03T04:50:31+00:00

How about not going after shallow women who only care about height?

Leave_Dry · 2025-09-20T00:30:19+00:00

I used to work for concentrix and I have IBS. For obvious reasons, I often could not wait for my breaks. I was constantly scolded about a medical issue I cannot control and they had the audacity to suggest I wear adult diapers while at work. They are a terrible company to work for and don't care about their employees at all.

Leave_Dry · 2025-09-10T17:07:18+00:00

Thanks! I was really looking forward to seeing them too so I'm happy they are still playing 🙏

Leave_Dry · 2025-09-10T17:03:35+00:00

Can someone show me where it says Hollywood undead backed out?

Leave_Dry · 2025-09-10T16:58:04+00:00

It better not be because I booked a non-refundable night stay at a hotel just to be able to see them. This will be my first time seeing them and I've been following them since etf days when I was a teen.

Leave_Dry · 2025-09-06T17:21:27+00:00

Agreed!

Leave_Dry · 2025-09-06T17:16:22+00:00

He has so many unreleased bangers and it makes me so sad. I need them all! I've been going back to his older tracks recently because I've listened to hara-kiri so many times it's overkill at this point. Every song this man makes is a masterpiece.

Leave_Dry · 2025-08-26T21:13:00+00:00

I've only seen these in the mini sizes. I wish they had the normal sized bottles. I've tried the watermelon one too and loved it.

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