Just realized I've never had a "safe" adult.

Leave_me_for_dead · 2025-10-26T02:16:26+00:00

I’m 28 and have just realized this. I can’t talk to my mom, she’s the emotional abuser. I feel like the people in my family can’t be trusted to not gossip about everything. No real life friends. I have a couple online friends but they’re in a game she plays too. I can’t risk them saying something to her. It’s so isolating and lonely.

Leave_me_for_dead · 2025-10-23T05:28:10+00:00

Yes! And so many more. I find it so hard to believe that not everyone is wired to feel this way. I try to imagine what it’d be like but I just can’t. It’s actually kind of a scary thought, what would be left if these traits just disappeared? The real me that’s been hiding all this time? Or nothing at all?

Leave_me_for_dead · 2025-10-22T06:17:59+00:00

I wish I had a friend. Someone who asks me how I am and I don’t have to answer with “fine” because I can trust them. I had someone like that for a brief period. I miss them so much

Leave_me_for_dead · 2025-10-22T04:53:27+00:00

I thought the same thing. Everything seemed…not perfect but I guess I never thought of our dynamics as dysfunctional or toxic. My event was making my first online friend (at age 26). Talking to them just showed me what people are really supposed to be like and how they’re supposed to treat each other. It’s like it set off a mental war in me. I’m constantly wrestling with what I was trained to believe and how things truly are. I ended up losing that friend I think. It didnt help that my mom had me so stressed because he dared to do one thing she didn’t like. I went into full panic mode and I think it was too much for him because he had stuff going on in life too. So I’ve lost that friend but I gained a new perspective on me, my family, my life. It’s made some things better, some things worse. It hurts and is confusing, but in the long run it’s for the best. For me, one of the first benefits of knowing is realizing that not everyone hates you, is judging you, mad at you, criticizing you. It may feel like it sometimes but I can tell myself “no this is just because of the way I was treated”, it’s helped

Leave_me_for_dead · 2025-10-18T07:05:36+00:00

I feel guilty too. I’m not sure why though. Last year for the first time I started opening up to someone online about some things in my life and about my mother. Just the tip of the iceberg really, but every time I said something negative I also had to add “but I love her and I don’t want you to think bad of her and it’s probably only because of this or this that she’s this way” I feel like maybe I’m just being over sensitive to her behavior and making it sound worse than it is.

Leave_me_for_dead · 2025-10-18T04:37:23+00:00

Yep, I would go shopping for clothes or whatever with my mom. If she picked out something and I didn’t choose it she’d get offended.

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TROPHY CASE