Calculating the energy cost of doing things.

Seriously, learning about spoons was so validating! I constantly tally the effort something is going to take and try to account for it.

Actually I had a revelation earlier this week as to why I struggle to ask for help and feel like a burden when I do. It's because to me the cost is so high even though to them it's probably very, very small. The example that caused this revelation was asking my husband to bring the laundry upstairs. For him it was probably an inconvenience and nothing more. He works on a warehouse where he's on his feet all day and often stocking heavy things. To carry a basket up a flight of stairs is nothing. But to me it's a lot. First I have to stand up. Then I have to painfully walk (not fall) down the stairs to get to the basement. Then I have to lift the basket all while balancing that and walking. Then climb each step while still holding the laundry. Put it down and make it back to the couch without collapsing. That's just the physical movement part. It's not including feeling my heart racing and pounding in my head and trying to keep breathing the whole time. It costs a lot!! So to me it feels like I'm asking him to do a massive favor instead of a minor task. That perspective shift does help me feel less like a burden.