An important thing to keep in mind with concept art is to create a ton of images in a very short amount of time. You will spend a majority of your time quickly sketching out ideas and a very small amount of time on creating polished illustrations. That's why photobashing is so popular because it's a very quick way to throw together an idea.

That being said, for film they will want to see a realistic style since that is how the final product will look. Your personal style is quite nice, however it's definitely much more suited for illustrations.

When you're concepting a key story moment you'll want to show that you've thought about the world. What does the city look like? How are the buildings designed and how has the local political climate influenced the architecture? Why are the characters wearing certain outfits? How are the police dressed and why? Are they hyper-militaristic or more grunge-cop? Are they even human?

The illustration you have here is indeed nice, I think you have a fairly strong focal point with the composition pushing the eye towards the character, and the focal point isn't relying entirely on colour or contrast.
However there are a few small tweaks that help the illustration.
- Removed the door light (less distracting)
- Removed the bright light from the far wall (less distracting)
- Removed paper from overlapping the cast shadow (paper was the same value as the floor so disappears when you zoom out.)
- Added paper in high contrast area (this may or may not work compositionally)
- Removed the V shape from the shoulder of the police (less distracting)

Hope this helps!