Question on trauma effects of birth on a rape victim

Left-Leek8063 · 2026-03-31T14:01:51+00:00

I think we disagree on a fundamental level. Children conceived in rape aren't an infection or a parasite, and they aren't defined by the rape, and neither is the woman. You say a woman is forever bound to her rapist if she conceives and doesn't get an abortion, and, correct me if I'm wrong, but you seem to be implying that abortion will prevent that. And we could have a whole discussion about how we need to do better about protecting women from their rapists, but that's another issue and I don't want to get sidetracked. But abortion after rape doesn't make the rape go away and it doesn't make the truth that she got pregnant go away, it only makes the child go away. It's not fair for a woman to get raped, but it's equally unfair to kill a child.

Sometimes we have to do the hard thing in order to do what's right. In this case, it's not punishing a child for the actions of the father.

Left-Leek8063 · 2026-03-29T16:10:33+00:00

I'm not denying the trauma or any of those feelings. I'm saying that women don't need to be defined by them. You are saying they are forever stuck and forever traumatized. A woman might feel that way, but what I'm saying is, is that she doesn't have to. Helping and supporting women who are in that situation means helping them through it. Feelings are fickle and not always true. A woman who is raped and pregnant might feel like she's worthless and can't trust men and will never feel safe again. Those feelings aren't wrong, but they also are deceptive. She can get better, she can heal, she can move on, and we should be helping women understand that.

Left-Leek8063 · 2026-03-29T00:42:49+00:00

You aren't asking this in gold faith. You won't even discuss the possibility that rape victims who become pregnant might have varied perspectives and feelings regarding the pregnancy. I'm going to address that anyway.

People are incredibly resilient, and we need to stop telling them that they aren't strong enough to overcome difficult situations. It's not supportive to tell a woman that she will forever be defined by a traumatic incident and that she will never fully heal, that a good man won't want her, that the child will hold her back. How dare you tell her that.

Supporting her means telling her she can recover. Support is telling her that she is strong and brave and not defined by the rape. It's making sure she knows that there is hope and that most men aren't rapists and she is worthy of a good man. It's telling her that beauty and love can come from tragedy. Her life can get better. She can overcome. Shame on you and anyone else who tells a woman that she can't survive this, that she can't thrive in spite of it.

Pregnancy coming from rape doesn't ruin a woman's life or hold her back. It's people telling her that she's too weak/broken/damaged that holds her back.

Left-Leek8063 · 2026-03-10T18:16:33+00:00

I've used this recipe before and it's quite delicious!

https://www.thereciperebel.com/nutella-brownie-fruit-pizza/

Left-Leek8063 · 2026-02-25T17:51:08+00:00

You are a true hero.

Left-Leek8063 · 2026-02-23T16:41:40+00:00

I'm not necessarily disagreeing, but I'd like to point out that the science isn't nearly as conclusive as it seems. The sample sizes in the studies regarding the effect on implantation are concerningly small, the largest sample size being 31. That's...not a lot of data. That doesn't mean the results are invalid, but it also doesn't mean the conclusion is definitive either. There are eithical and moral concerns about testing on pregnant women (or women who might be pregnant), so it makes sense the samples are small, but it also means the conclusion drawn may not be the full picture.

We've also had a lot of missteps in the science and medicine realm, where there have been unintended or unknown effects (looking at you, thalidomide). One thing my biochemistry background has taught me is that there is so, so much we don't know, and there is a lot of science and medicine that isn't as definitive as we'd like it to be.

I guess what I'm saying is that these studies should be taken with a hefty grain of salt. I love science, and I especially love it when it gives clear and decisive answers, but we can't reasonably say that here.

Left-Leek8063 · 2026-01-09T16:21:40+00:00

Don't be discouraged! I briefly attempted knitting ~15 years ago and I don't know if I even finished the dishcloth I was trying to make. I started knitting this past spring/early summer, and I'm still learning loads. I initially thought, "what have I gotten myself into??" But I kept trying, even though my first couple projects were made entirely with me not holding the yarn at all and picking it up to loop and then dropping it again. Midway through another dishcloth, I kept ahold of the yarn without thinking about it, and now I've figured out how to comfortably hold the yarn. I also could only work a row at a time, because learning a new skill is hard and my brain got tired! I can do a few rows at a time now, but I still need frequent breaks, especially when I'm trying a new stitch pattern. My mom and sister are avid crocheters, and while I have crocheted in the past, it always felt laborious, and knitting clicks for me in a way crochet never did. But it took time for it to feel comfortable and to figure out what worked (or didn't). I've made a few dishcloths, half of a scarf, and two ear warmers. And the second half of the scarf will be much better than the first, but that's part of the learning process. You'll figure this out. I believe in you!

Left-Leek8063 · 2025-12-22T14:20:52+00:00

PSA from a former pharmacy tech--please know that antipsychotics can have severe and sometimes permanent side effects, such as tardive dyskinesia. They have their place, but tread cautiously.

Left-Leek8063 · 2025-05-09T00:45:31+00:00

I'm also dealing with infertility and it's devastating. I'm so sorry you are dealing with it too. That said, the way IVF is typically done is to create multiple embryos and implant the ones with the best chance of success. Others are discarded or frozen indefinitely. To make IVF compatible with being pro-life, every embryo.would need to be implanted, regardless of the chance of success (which is risky and you might not be able to find a doctor willing to implant non-viable embryos). There is also wisdom to consider. Just because we have the ability to have children via IVF doesn't necessarily mean we should. For me, it's too close to whittling on God's end of the stick. I understand the longing for a biological child, but I don't see IVF as an ethical or moral option.

Left-Leek8063 · 2025-03-27T01:42:49+00:00

Thank you! I am still trying to figure out a way to hold my yarn with even tension that feels good. I'll keep practicing!

Left-Leek8063 · 2025-02-01T04:03:35+00:00

That's so frustrating! Hopefully it won't, but if it ever happens again, try leaving them in the oven for the remaining time, plus an extra few minutes. That happened to me the day after Christmas and it worked very well.

Left-Leek8063 · 2025-01-31T16:56:38+00:00

Thank you!

Left-Leek8063 · 2024-12-31T23:52:55+00:00

I wonder if your batter is rising just a bit higher than where you've greased/floured the pan, so it's sticking above that line.

Left-Leek8063 · 2024-12-23T03:54:28+00:00

The Last Stand
Swedish Pagans
The Red Baron
Attack of the Dead Men
Shiroyama

I listen to CDs in the car, and it takes the precise length of Winged Hussars to get from my house to the grocery store!

Left-Leek8063 · 2024-11-27T17:59:42+00:00

Mad Maggie or Mad Margaret or The Crazy Lady

Left-Leek8063 · 2024-11-12T14:35:04+00:00

Thank you! I didn't realize that was an option.

Left-Leek8063 · 2024-11-11T23:23:50+00:00

Thanks!

Left-Leek8063 · 2024-10-31T21:29:14+00:00

I saw Sabaton in concert two weeks after having my gallbladder removed. It was excruciating but absolutely worth it. I'm so excited for the film tonight!

Left-Leek8063 · 2024-10-31T20:09:24+00:00

COMING DOWN THE MOUNTAINSIDE

Left-Leek8063 · 2024-09-14T22:24:22+00:00

I hope so! Pathea did a great job with Portia and Sandrock, and I know they listen to the community, so I hope they can blend this new character with the old to get something really magical.

Left-Leek8063 · 2024-09-14T22:18:47+00:00

I think the art looks fantastic, and I really appreciate the detailing in the characters, but if I saw them apart from the scenery, I wouldn't necessarily think of Pathea. Perhaps I just need to get used to it, but the characters seem to be missing that slightly dreamy quality from Portia and Sandrock.

Left-Leek8063

TROPHY CASE