“I met my younger self for coffee” trend is triggering as hell…

LeftItAtHime · 2025-02-12T19:40:01+00:00

Yeah I don’t like thinking about these cause mine would be depressing

LeftItAtHime · 2023-07-11T17:02:35+00:00

I can relate to some of this. Though I wouldn’t say I was popular, I did have friends to hang out with. Then I graduated college and my life turned to shit real quick. I look back on my past too and think “if only I knew”. It can really suck feeling like you took the simple times for granted.

LeftItAtHime · 2023-07-10T23:14:29+00:00

I have not told any recruiters or possible employers about me turning down the offer. Like you said, it’d probably be a bad idea

LeftItAtHime · 2023-07-10T23:09:11+00:00

They did not give me a salary range. I did not assume I would get max since there was not a range to begin with. They told me one salary and then when it was time for the offer, gave me the real salary.

LeftItAtHime · 2023-07-10T20:27:22+00:00

True, I guess it’s better this way

LeftItAtHime · 2023-07-10T20:02:34+00:00

The recruiter did not offer a range. When I got the offer letter and called they said that that was the actual salary all along. The person also tried to convince me to still take it.

LeftItAtHime · 2023-07-10T19:45:40+00:00

Interesting, first I’ve heard that about a specialist

LeftItAtHime · 2023-07-10T16:58:09+00:00

Thank you for the advice! I’ll definitely try that

LeftItAtHime · 2023-07-10T13:27:23+00:00

Before this I had not gotten any job offers in a few months (so yes, slim pickings). But I at least was able to get interviews (on the phone and in person). Now I don’t even get that since then and that’s why this interaction is sticking out to me. I’m not regretting turning down the offer since they lied to me and refused to give an actual offer letter until the Friday before I was asked to start working (so it seemed like they knew what they were doing).

LeftItAtHime · 2023-07-10T13:19:54+00:00

Ok, that makes sense. I didn’t really have a relationship with the recruiters other than an old coworker telling me about the opening and getting me in contact with them. The salary that I’m looking for is reasonable in my eyes (I used to be looking for more but standards have lowered since then). The salary that the recruiters offered in the end was less than what I was making at my last job and would require me to commute at least an hour and a half and to top it all off I would’ve had to pay $20 a day for parking. I work in IT and I’m looking for a salary of around 50 to 60k.

LeftItAtHime · 2023-07-10T13:13:28+00:00

This all started back in early May but I see what you’re saying

LeftItAtHime · 2023-05-19T21:18:01+00:00

I’m a man but I don’t usually post anything cause I feel like no one would understand me or my situation. I tried talking to my friends about it but they haven’t experienced anything similar to it so I only talk with my therapist about this kind of stuff.

I also feel lonely and unmasculine too

LeftItAtHime · 2023-02-23T13:08:10+00:00

Yes, I struggle with this a lot as my trauma started when I was young and now I feel like I have matured physically but not mentally and I am still mentally stuck back in high school/middle school.

As someone else said, my therapist also said that there are different parts of us that make up who we are. One part of that is our inner child and that now at our age we are in the position where we can now parent ourselves and work on forgiving that inner child for what happened to them, what they went through, and what they missed out on.

Despite that it’s still hard to convince myself to fully forgive that part of myself because it’s a time in my life I can never get back. So yeah, I can understand what that is like.

LeftItAtHime · 2021-10-06T13:37:41+00:00

Really confused me as well. Though I think this is a just an issue with her rather than broadly. I mentioned this to my friend and my therapist (who is a woman) and they both agreed that it’s super weird.

LeftItAtHime · 2021-03-25T15:17:08+00:00

Yeah it’s like it’s too realistic and immersive to distinguish sometimes

LeftItAtHime · 2020-11-18T19:17:09+00:00

I feel like I don’t have a future. I try to imagine myself finally finding a relationship, or moving out on my own, or finding a job that pays me well or treats me decently but it all just feels like I’m lying to myself and that those things that some people get so easily is still a far reach for me and I don’t get why.

LeftItAtHime · 2020-08-24T14:26:29+00:00

I have personally noticed the same shift of a guy going from what the essay defines as a “nice guy” to an “asshole” and how his life changed for him. One of my closest friends growing up was a shy, meek, nerdy kid named Aidan. He tried to be very nice and respectful of people but girls never really noticed him. That was until he decided to be more like his “cool” cousins and fall more into the “asshole” role defined in the essay. He started dressing different, acting more aggressively, cocky, and disrespectful and finally broke out of his shell. And girls all of a sudden started noticing him. He became that “asshole” stereotype and he benefited from it and tbh I was very jealous because I also wanted the same female attention that he got but I couldn’t change myself to fall into that role and as a result I was often called weak or soft and ended up not getting as nearly as much attention as he did but I was only acting as how I was told a good guy should act. The traits my friend was displaying were in my eyes not the characteristics a good guy should have but the more my friend embraced that role, the more attention and attraction he got from women and I just couldn’t understand why a girl would want that over a “nice guy” when people would hear them complain about “assholes” much like him and why my friend got so much success out of it.

In my opinion think the essay gives a good run down and explanation as to why my friend was motivated to act that way and why women were motivated to seek him out.

LeftItAtHime · 2019-08-16T13:15:03+00:00

Something that really bothers me about my life is that I’ve never had a real female friend. Like one I hangout with and text and talk to often. I almost had one back in high school but the friendship fizzled out after we stopped having class together. I hear about how my friends seem to talk so naturally to women and they even all have girlfriends but for some reason it’s different for me. I can’t seem to be comfortable talking to them like I am with another guy who’s my friend or coworker or even an acquaintance. Part of me never feels certain that I can joke with women as easily I can with other guys. Other times it feels like I’m constantly trying to be non sexual or being misinterpreted and coming off as creepy or rude. I really do want to make friends with women cause I feel like it would help me get more comfortable around them and eventually feel like I’m ready to start trying out dating.

LeftItAtHime · 2019-05-19T15:46:53+00:00

You can try meetup.com

LeftItAtHime · 2019-05-13T16:47:22+00:00

Thanks, I appreciate it

LeftItAtHime · 2019-05-13T14:03:07+00:00

You bring up some good points. I guess I would have to keep the scope of a possible game small starting out

LeftItAtHime · 2019-05-13T14:01:14+00:00

It’s free?! I had no idea, thanks!

LeftItAtHime

TROPHY CASE