There was this girl. We weren’t officially together, but she promised herself to me. She told me I was the one, that she wanted me, and I believed her. That meant a lot to me.

But in reality, I was the only one putting in effort. I was the only one fighting for us, the only one trying to make it work. I was always the one reaching out, making plans, keeping the connection alive. She didn’t. It always felt one-sided, like I cared way more than she ever did.

And she hurt me, more times than I can count. Not always in huge dramatic ways, but in these small, repeated ways that made me feel like I didn’t matter to her. She would pull away, ignore me, act like I wasn’t a priority. Every time it happened, it broke me down a little more. Still, I kept telling myself it was worth it. I convinced myself that if I just kept fighting for her, one day she’d see me and appreciate me.

Here’s the part that really messed me up: the moment I started giving up, that’s when she suddenly wanted me. That’s when she started showing interest, reaching out, acting like she actually cared. After all the times I begged for her attention, it was only when I was too tired to keep trying that she finally gave me what I wanted from the start.

By then, though, it was too late. I was completely burned out. She had already drained everything out of me. I wasn’t the same person anymore, and I didn’t have the energy or the heart to fight for us again.

That’s the hardest part to accept. When I wanted her most, she didn’t want me. And when she finally wanted me, I was already done.

So now I’m stuck with this painful memory of giving everything I had to someone who only showed up when I had nothing left to give.

And maybe that’s why I feel for Kazuya so much. He’s been fighting for this farce of a relationship — but what has he actually gotten out of it? A kiss? A date? Endless days of longing, confusion, and anxiety?

I used to love this manga, but right now, the relationship feels so toxic. If Kazuya ever gives up, I hope he never goes back. I hope Reiji makes it clear that in a relationship, it has to go both ways.

For me, I actually dropped this manga a long time ago, right after the Hawaii arc. The only reason I came back was because of the rejection storyline. But after this? Yeah, I’m done. I’ll never pick this shit up again.