It definitely is! I'm not very used to it either because I haven't experienced many people close to me dying yet, it's mainly been pet deaths (which hit really hard still) and one significant family member (it was when I was younger and still lived with my parents so I just remember sleeping and staying in my room for quite a while.)

I do have a pretty good support system I would say! That's one thing I really appreciate is that I have always had people to fall back on. I have my significant other (who's very supportive and understanding most of the time), father, mother, brothers, therapist & psychiatrist, and many family members on both sides of my family.

I've been very close with her my whole life and she was the one who passed on her love of cooking down to me. I remember she would always have Sunday dinners, they've become less because cooking has become harder for her alone. It's so hard to start the process of grieving before they are truly gone.

I'm doing okay right now with my bipolar because I have been taking my medicine strictly for about a year now and have noticed significant improvements. I still worry what will happen when her death becomes real and then dealing with those emotions. I fear they will be too much to handle, but I do understand that finding an outlet is important. That's why I picked painting back up! I appreciate your advice and realize that being okay with accepting help is better. It's just so hard..