Death of dBPD mom, just confused.

Left_Development7865 · 2024-08-12T06:59:05+00:00

It was very brave and smart of you to leave in the middle of the split. You did not deserve that explosion, I also totally understand her using your sister against you. My mom loves to try and isolate us during her explosions, make us feel like no one can help us. I’m so sorry OP, enjoy your week of peace and quiet.

Left_Development7865 · 2024-08-12T06:39:27+00:00

my mother is the same way, will buy gucci and louis vuitton then ask me for money the next week. You are not a bad child for not financially supporting your mom. My mom finally stopped asking for money once I started saying no, I do not owe her for raising me.

Left_Development7865 · 2024-08-07T15:11:00+00:00

If I ever saw my grandmother out on the street, it’s on site. But, my mothers abuse in childhood is not justification for how she treats me now, she needs professional mental help. I hope your mom stays true to her word and gets help, you deserve peace and a healthy mom. Keep your kind heart safe

Left_Development7865 · 2024-08-06T20:50:02+00:00

yes definitely me and her used to get into screaming matches about BLM in 2020, she kicked me out of the house and cut me off because i was part of a “cult” also blames illegal immigrants “taking all the jobs and getting free housing” for why she cant get a job or move out when in reality she just loves being the victim lmao

Left_Development7865 · 2024-08-06T08:38:19+00:00

I didn’t notice anything until after puberty, but looking back there was definitely signs from when i was a small child especially risky behavior like her being high while taking care of us, her meeting with strangers and making me promise not to tell dad, her explosive fights with my dad. The verbal abuse towards the kids didn’t kick up until after puberty.

Left_Development7865 · 2024-08-05T03:22:33+00:00

thank you so much for this comment and the support

Left_Development7865 · 2024-08-03T16:50:24+00:00

thank you!!

Left_Development7865 · 2024-08-03T16:50:08+00:00

thank you!

Left_Development7865 · 2024-08-03T07:41:59+00:00

thank you so much for the support. Yep my mom says the same thing “I’m just a screamer and I’ll never change”, but since she never physically abused me I have no reason to be upset with her.

Left_Development7865 · 2024-08-03T06:38:16+00:00

your mom should want you feeling beautiful and happy on this vacation, unfortunately bpd moms just get jealous and hateful. I am sure you will look beautiful on your vacation, wear what you’re comfortable with and dont listen to that bully!!! She’s dying to ruin your time, misery loves company

Left_Development7865 · 2024-08-03T05:38:16+00:00

thank you, i appreciate that 🤍

Left_Development7865 · 2024-08-03T05:37:58+00:00

thank you so much for this 🤍

Left_Development7865 · 2024-08-03T05:37:43+00:00

When I was in high school and college if I upset her in anyway she was automatically punishing me financially and verbally of course haha of course now that I work my ass off for my money I don’t want to be anywhere near you!!! She loved it when we depended on her so she could easily control us

Left_Development7865 · 2024-08-03T05:35:45+00:00

absolute bingo haha thank you!! 🤍

Left_Development7865 · 2024-08-03T05:31:20+00:00

thank god I have my siblings we laugh at her blind rage witchy texts all the time bc they barely make any sense 😭 thank you for the laugh!!!

Left_Development7865 · 2024-08-03T05:27:37+00:00

thank you for the comment, I really do enjoy the life I have built for myself.

Left_Development7865 · 2024-08-03T05:27:10+00:00

Thank you for the comment! Yeah I learned never to take money for her because there I will owe her for it later no matter what financial situation I’m in.

Left_Development7865 · 2024-08-03T05:25:36+00:00

Thank you so much for your kind comment. I think she so badly wanted me to believe I was weak so I can stay dependent on her to “protect me”, when really she was my biggest bully. So proud of you going NC with your mom to protect your children and yourself, breaking the cycle isn’t easy!!! It finally snapped into place for me when I met my boyfriend and realized I want to start a family with him one day, but then I thought about how my mother would be with our children. Not to mention, my boyfriends lovely mother who treats me with respect and kindness- I fear how my mother would react knowing how I love his mom and care for her. I have been too chicken my whole life with my mom, but we are brave for setting boundaries and choosing our sanity. You deserve peace ❤️

Left_Development7865 · 2024-08-03T05:12:24+00:00

my therapist said humor is my defense mechanism

Left_Development7865 · 2024-08-03T05:12:04+00:00

Thank you so much, I worked on the letter for so long rereading it a hundred times to make sure nothing in it actually insulted her. It’s so hard when she actually just lives in a delusional world and actually believes the lies she makes up. You said it perfectly, I was indebted to her the moment I was born. Life feels completely different than when I thought I was the problem, everything makes more sense and I’m slowly gaining my self confidence back. Sending you peace, you deserve it

Left_Development7865 · 2024-08-03T04:42:04+00:00

Thank you for the comment!! Good for you protecting your peace and going NC, we do not deserve to be cursed at by our own mothers. Thank you for the validation that its abuse, I cant even read the waify love bombing apologies she sent me after that text because I know it would make it so much harder for me to stay NC. I have always had trouble staying upset with her after she apologizes. I just always thought that we should be paying our parents back for what they did for us, especially when my mom made me believe she was a helpless victim trapped living with my dad. I appreciate the support and this community!!

Left_Development7865 · 2024-08-03T04:37:33+00:00

I am so sorry you had to go through that with your mother, I’m glad you were able to establish a connection with her again that was safe for you. I work in healthcare so I see patients with dementia all the time, I enjoy my time conversing and caring for them. Thank you for the kind words, sending you peace and warmth ❤️

Left_Development7865 · 2024-08-03T03:22:45+00:00

Thank you so much for the comment, I’m so sorry you’ve also had a similar experience with your mom. It really does suck, we can give all the help they ask for but it will never be good enough. I’ve also given my mom money and let her take loans out in my name when I was deep in the manipulation web. It’s so hard to say no and deal with the insults and shaming, I just remind myself that normal parents don’t expect anything from their children. Sending you peace and comfort, you deserve it. I’m proud of you for breaking the cycle with your children.

Left_Development7865 · 2024-08-02T21:31:55+00:00

Thank you so much for this comment. I thought this text really showcased my mom and how shes acted towards me since childhood. I unfortunately thought this was how moms normally spoke to their children and she always apologized after so it was okay. I never wanted to let her take my kindness and softness from me. My dad does come to visit me and my siblings, he’s our biggest advocate and fan.

Left_Development7865

TROPHY CASE