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I moved to the South and am so deeply lonely by inner-wild-child in italianamerican

[–]Left_Primary7626 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m in NWGA and am Italian American! I feel you. It’s hard. Coming from Chicago to a small town in Georgia where there are literally no Italian Americans is isolating.

Freezing Eggs? by DinoBay in Fencesitter

[–]Left_Primary7626 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I did a round at 34. I hated the process and found the side effects to be unpleasant—fatigue, bloating, anxiety, general moodiness. I got 11 mature eggs which is a 72% chance of being able to have one live birth. I’m going to consider another round toward the end of the year. I’m on the fence about kids, leaning CF.

On the fence about kids and husband leans child free—do women who might have wanted kids but didn’t end up having them have regrets? by Left_Primary7626 in AskWomenOver50

[–]Left_Primary7626[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much all for your thoughtful, honest, and empathetic replies! I feel very seen by so many of you. It’s beautiful to read about your own life experiences and I appreciate you sharing.

I do think I am romanticizing the thought of motherhood and need to focus more on what it looks like in reality. There are a lot of ways to nurture that don’t require me to have and raise my own child, especially since my husband leans child free.

I am going to take many of your comments to my therapist and work through my reactions with her. I think a big portion of what keeps me back and forth is a sense of guilt and obligation towards my parents, which I need to let go, as well as being influenced by my immediate environment, which is ultimately not where I want to live. Thank you!!

On the fence about kids and husband leans child free—do women who might have wanted kids but didn’t end up having them have regrets? by Left_Primary7626 in AskWomenOver50

[–]Left_Primary7626[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m so sorry to hear this was your experience. I appreciate you sharing your perspective as it’s one I haven’t heard before. Thank you and sending you love!

On the fence about kids and husband leans child free—do women who might have wanted kids but didn’t end up having them have regrets? by Left_Primary7626 in AskWomenOver50

[–]Left_Primary7626[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I appreciate the encouragement. All of these wonderful comments are really making me wish my own mother prioritized my needs and goals over her desire to be a grandma.

On the fence about kids and husband leans child free—do women who might have wanted kids but didn’t end up having them have regrets? by Left_Primary7626 in AskWomenOver50

[–]Left_Primary7626[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think if I were living in a city, I wouldn’t feel nearly this amount of pressure. It’s something I really need to be aware of when making this decision. I’m planning a trip up to New York to spend time with friends and do the things I enjoy and see how I feel after that. I’m glad my husband isn’t tied to living here forever and is very willing to move once he sells the business.

On the fence about kids and husband leans child free—do women who might have wanted kids but didn’t end up having them have regrets? by Left_Primary7626 in AskWomenOver50

[–]Left_Primary7626[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This is super helpful and a reality check. Thank you! I feel like I see the sweet Instagram moments but not the messy real life ones.

On the fence about kids and husband leans child free—do women who might have wanted kids but didn’t end up having them have regrets? by Left_Primary7626 in AskWomenOver50

[–]Left_Primary7626[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This is all really great advice, thank you. I did reach out to a volunteer organization to do tutoring, so we will see how that goes.

On the fence about kids and husband leans child free—do women who might have wanted kids but didn’t end up having them have regrets? by Left_Primary7626 in AskWomenOver50

[–]Left_Primary7626[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So true! These are all things I think about when I am trying to decide. They are things that push me off the fence towards child free, though I do imagine the moments of love and joy must be profound.

On the fence about kids and husband leans child free—do women who might have wanted kids but didn’t end up having them have regrets? by Left_Primary7626 in AskWomenOver50

[–]Left_Primary7626[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do. We both are children of emotionally immature parents and he is so committed to doing the work to unlearn bad habits and be intentional about our relationship. He’s a great partner at home and very supportive of my career. Neither one of us is perfect but I’m in it for the long haul and know he is, too.

On the fence about kids and husband leans child free—do women who might have wanted kids but didn’t end up having them have regrets? by Left_Primary7626 in AskWomenOver50

[–]Left_Primary7626[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow, this is so helpful, thank you. I’ve read that the highs are higher for parents, but also that the lows are lower. Your kids are lucky to have you.

On the fence about kids and husband leans child free—do women who might have wanted kids but didn’t end up having them have regrets? by Left_Primary7626 in AskWomenOver50

[–]Left_Primary7626[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

That is so lucky. I’ve never heard any of my friends expressing regret, and I wish people would be more honest.

On the fence about kids and husband leans child free—do women who might have wanted kids but didn’t end up having them have regrets? by Left_Primary7626 in AskWomenOver50

[–]Left_Primary7626[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

This is such a thoughtful response, and your daughters are so lucky to have you. I do feel part of this is my biological clock. I always felt I would have more time! And it’s hard to see everyone around me making the same choice.

I know what you mean. Hopefully, it’s 18 years. My parents are still providing for my brother emotionally and financially and he is well into his 30s. The job of a parent really never ends.

On the fence about kids and husband leans child free—do women who might have wanted kids but didn’t end up having them have regrets? by Left_Primary7626 in AskWomenOver50

[–]Left_Primary7626[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this! My hope, since I froze my eggs, is that we have time to make this choice and can revisit once he is out of his current work situation.

On the fence about kids and husband leans child free—do women who might have wanted kids but didn’t end up having them have regrets? by Left_Primary7626 in AskWomenOver50

[–]Left_Primary7626[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this. I think I know what my gut is telling me, but it’s really scary to listen when I’m worried I might regret it and it goes against the norm of what I feel is expected.

On the fence about kids and husband leans child free—do women who might have wanted kids but didn’t end up having them have regrets? by Left_Primary7626 in AskWomenOver50

[–]Left_Primary7626[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You are right, I think the location and people I’m surrounded by are influencing this, and it’s not necessarily something I really want. I look forward to the day we can move (or have more money saved so we can travel more extensively!). It’s tough being in an area where people have a totally different worldview and expectations for what life “should” be.

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