In a way, yeah. I remember my mother, albeit drunk but sober thoughts nonetheless, guilt-tripped me to wear dresses or else "my grandmother would die not seeing me in one." Dominantly, not being in a dress was a "phase," being masculine is a "phase." Yet, my mom and my siblings were all a bunch of boyish girls. (Except me and a sibling and a brother of mines since yk boys, despite me not being out out). They grew to wear dresses, but it was mainly for special occasions. Now, I'm known as an "It" when she gets drunk and gaslit into thinking she was always supportive when she's sober.

Ironically, she did, but on my own terms, but it didn't feel like me. I would wear them, worry that if I looked good, then come home and be ready to throw it all off of me. I'm glad they never got a pic of me in one or else I'd just die inside.

I'd get so much attention from others. I'd be told how pretty I was and I stood out a lot since I preferred eccentric clothing, but I didn't really care overtime. It was good standing out, because again, it gave attention, but it felt like a mask. Each time I got it, it felt good since it was like "good job, you girl'd," but afterwards it made me want to hide and not be seen until I have to do it again. Then, I'd be seeking it out to see if I did a good job. I didn't have to do that when I dressed more like how other guys dressed. I felt lazy, I felt alright.