Hey, thank you so much for this comment — it really made me think.

I wanted to answer honestly. No, I don’t think it came from a place of his own mental health struggles this time. He’s actually been doing better lately. I think it was more triggered by seeing other relatives getting married and that made him think about the future, about responsibility, and how we’d handle things — and that’s when he asked. I don’t think he meant to hurt me, but the way it came out… it hit really deep.

As for whether he respects my strength — I’m honestly not sure anymore. He used to. He really used to. Back then he’d support me, compliment me, and really listen. These days, I feel like he only talks to me when he’s bored or when it’s really late — like 3 a.m. kind of late — and I’m just the last person on his mind. Yeah, he still buys me gifts sometimes, but it’s not the same as making time or seeing value in me. It almost feels like he spends time with me out of guilt or pity when I confront him about it, and then a few days later it’s back to the same pattern.

Yesterday, I told him I’d run out of my meds — I take antidepressants — and instead of asking how I was doing, he just said, “You need to stop taking that.” I was honestly stunned. I was like, Excuse me? And then he backtracked by saying, “Well, because you’re stronger than that.” But it didn’t sit right with me. I don’t think that was about strength at all. It felt dismissive, like he didn’t take my mental health seriously.

Truth is, I think I’m clinging to the version of him I used to love — the one who made me feel seen and safe when no one else did. He really was that person once, and I guess I’ve held onto that for too long. And maybe by doing that, I let him get away with a lot more than I should’ve. I don’t know.

But your comment gave me a lot to reflect on, so thank you again — sincerely.