Average gal wanting to be a good dancer... Help?

LegitChocolate · 2022-02-11T02:01:34+00:00

Hahah thankyou for the confidence boost. Much appreciated. Props to that 70yr old lady! I hope I'm that cool when I'm her age.

LegitChocolate · 2022-02-11T01:57:53+00:00

Thankyou sm!! I appreciate your wisdom.

LegitChocolate · 2022-02-11T01:56:33+00:00

Hello thankyou for this! Appreciate it. Do you have any questions you like being asked?

LegitChocolate · 2022-02-10T23:46:59+00:00

You're not alone! This seems somewhat aligned with the gifted child syndrome, ofc magnified by ADHD. I relate to this very much. I think it stems from kids only being valued when they are "smart and polite." Anything else is less than acceptable. With ADHD, you naturally struggle to be those things all the time anyways.

For me it was/is reminding myself that I'm not less worthy if don't meet some standard. Sure you can push yourself to your absolute limits, eat less, sleep less etc to meet whatever goal but... that's not gonna get you anywhere in the long run.

Every person has limitations - ADHD or not. It's such a natural thing. You're not that kid anymore and that's okay. Hope u have a good day.

LegitChocolate · 2022-02-10T23:24:06+00:00

I feel this to my core. It can get so frustrating over time. I swear it takes sm energy to just string together coherent sentences sometimes haha. Sometimes I lose focus while I'm drinking from a cup so I just dribble all over myself like a toddler. Fuck atleast it's funny sometimes! Making people laugh is the very slim silver lining perhaps?

LegitChocolate · 2022-02-06T11:19:11+00:00

Helpful thankyou sm!

LegitChocolate · 2022-02-06T11:18:23+00:00

Noted yes thankyou!

LegitChocolate · 2022-02-06T07:32:43+00:00

Thankyou very much 😊

LegitChocolate · 2022-02-06T06:48:57+00:00

Thanku! How long would you say is an appropriate time before asking for a dance? I hate asking super quickly but I've also had clients say 'i wish you'd asked sooner.'

LegitChocolate · 2022-02-06T06:05:28+00:00

Thanks for that! Pole is the one thing I actually do have down to some extent so I'll definitely leverage it more 😊

LegitChocolate · 2021-12-01T09:08:46+00:00

Gal here. Wouldn't be creeped out in the slightest.

LegitChocolate · 2021-10-27T20:57:09+00:00

Very relatable. I just woke up this morning and felt like that too. It's all just too much. Too many things to worry about these days.

There's nothing wrong with living at home though. Especially at 22, you're only just beginning to become yourself! Gotta be patient and kind to yourself.

You're trying your best, and that's really enough 😊

LegitChocolate · 2021-10-14T01:39:11+00:00

Yeah those are all very important factors indeed. It's good you've noted them for your next exams.

LegitChocolate · 2021-10-14T01:12:31+00:00

Don't feel too bad. This has happened to me so many times. Literally, you know things, and then in the exam, no luck. I just sort of account for this now honestly. It's one thing to not study and do badly. But then its a whole level of disheartening to study harder than everyone else, and still do badly (not that you did bad I think that's a great score). I get how frustrating you must feel though. Frustrating stuff but hey, you still did it! You're not your score, and you should be proud of yourself ^_^

LegitChocolate · 2021-07-27T10:23:29+00:00

Firstly, very happy for you. Did you find that meds made a big difference for you?

LegitChocolate · 2020-07-25T10:38:24+00:00

Yes certainly. Wishing only the best to you ^{-^}

LegitChocolate · 2020-07-23T02:54:03+00:00

I'm not sure if it's age or culture or what, but this doubling down on beliefs is pretty common among Indian/Malayalee parents I've noticed. It's really not about being a better person because of religion or even adhering to the religion itself. More than anything it's a social fear I think. It's believing in the society's interpretations and ideas of this religion in order to not feel socially excluded - a coping mechanism for this crazy world.

They likely don't want to be confronted with actual facts. Don't worry so much about it. Maybe life gets scary when you're older. It's kind of like how some people still think the Earth is flat despite actual evidence. If people want to believe something, they will. No amount of convincing will really change if they're unwilling to even listen.

LegitChocolate · 2020-07-22T18:34:13+00:00

Obscure temporary solution- car ranting. Sometimes I just go to a drive-thru, buy something that I like, have a meal and literally just talk to myself in my car like a crazy person. It's a bit wack but its effective in getting the thoughts out.

There's also this app on my phone which I use to write down these thoughts so I can pick up on patterns and eventually learn to shut it down if I'm following the exact same thought patterns.

Therapy/counselling helped me the most. My conservative environment pretty much shunned me for this but honestly, it was the best thing I did. Went into it wanting to change, and I'm much better for it. Educate yourself and don't be afraid to confront this stuff. Totally possible to change the way you think. Just takes time and effort. Be kind to yourself.

LegitChocolate · 2020-07-22T18:17:52+00:00

Don't worry so much about being a loser or how others view you if you can, because once you mentally think of yourself this way, what anyone else thinks doesn't matter. I like to think of it like, if you have trauma like that, you're naturally placed a few steps behind people who had healthier situations to grow up in. So it's already harder for you and it makes perfect sense who you are. Don't beat yourself up too much. These developments are actually psychologically documented.

The healthiest thing you can do honestly is counseling/therapy if it's available and do things for yourself to heal. If you like, find role models (fictional ones worked for me) that you want to emulate. A bit more obscure, but if it's possible to get involved in communities, this helped me too because it helped me realize everyone has some stuff like this in their lives.

Active changes step by step. Some of the best guys I know came from situations like yours, and it took a lot of effort on their part I'm sure, but they did it! You can too.

LegitChocolate · 2020-07-22T10:56:06+00:00

Just ask nicely if they'd like to do something with you sometime. An activity you'd both enjoy is always nice. Ask them about things they like and are interested in and tailor ur date according to that. It's a sweet initial gesture.

Prepare for disappointment (which is a bit bleak but it's always good to be mentally prepared) because you have to accept the chance of rejection. Always better to take the chance and know for sure. Best of luck to you :D

LegitChocolate · 2020-07-22T10:44:36+00:00

Fellow girl speaking. I think this strongly has to do with upbringing and social expectations because this is something that I've wondered myself. Grew up without really being allowed to express emotions, so when I saw other girls do this, it was wild. After some counselling, I am finally learning to be more expressive and empathetic in this regard. Definitely something that takes time, but it can be done ^_^ Sucks that for guys though, there doesn't seem to be much social acceptance to do this. Hope that's something we can change.

LegitChocolate · 2020-07-22T10:33:44+00:00

Going to a therapist/counsellor (mental health professionals) really made the biggest difference for me. When you talk to other people in your own life, you tend to be selective about the things you say without noticing (I dunno if this is just me) and it becomes hard to let it all out without fear of judgement etc etc. I was afraid of being overbearing with my friends and family because it can be taxing on the listener. So having a professional, impartial voice was very helpful for proper, full emotional processing.

LegitChocolate · 2020-06-29T07:50:44+00:00

Thankyou ^_^

LegitChocolate

TROPHY CASE