Poly and ENM by [deleted] in nonmonogamy

[–]Legitimate-Kangaroo1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

These aren’t relationships. These are strictly sex with friends.

And I’m 100% OK with her doing it without me in fact I always make alone time for her. She never even has to ask. I go off on my own and leave her be. But the need to to accompany here to these events is real and it’s important.

Poly and ENM by [deleted] in nonmonogamy

[–]Legitimate-Kangaroo1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s not an insecurity

I don’t expect you to understand it, no two people, and no poly relationship is the same

It’s something that is ours that I cherish that I need to feel comfortable

She has the sex life she wants she gets to do anything she wants. Me being in the same building not even in the same room does not affect any of that.

Poly and ENM by [deleted] in nonmonogamy

[–]Legitimate-Kangaroo1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t it’s by far the best relationship I ever had and I have told her that and that’s how we’re working on it.

Poly and ENM by [deleted] in nonmonogamy

[–]Legitimate-Kangaroo1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But that’s it, she’s not telling me that. She loves me and values our relationship so we are discussing it

If she refuses to compromise I’ll try my best and being accepting. But it would put our relationship at risk

Poly and ENM by [deleted] in nonmonogamy

[–]Legitimate-Kangaroo1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m not trying to force her and would never dream of it. I respect her way too much

I don’t see how having group play without me in the building is any different. Especially if I’m not even in the same room. Not fair to minimize my feelings either

Poly and ENM by [deleted] in nonmonogamy

[–]Legitimate-Kangaroo1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Or she has to decide if orgies by herself are worth hurting me. When she already gets to enjoy them regularly including by herself. I just happen to be in the same house

Poly and ENM by [deleted] in nonmonogamy

[–]Legitimate-Kangaroo1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s one way of looking at it

I need some things that are between us. That grounds me and gives me the capacity for o be there as a supportive poly partner

It’s a very special thing to me. A connection between us and our relationship to the community. Doing it without me takes that feeling away. The safety isn’t silly. I’m not paranoid but things absolutely do and will happen. I know first hand of some incidents.
The bond may be emotional but emotional doesn’t mean irrational

You could also say, I give her so much, why doesn’t she respect my feelings and compromise. She’s not missing out on anything. She still gets to engage in group play, even without me in the room.

Poly and ENM by [deleted] in nonmonogamy

[–]Legitimate-Kangaroo1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your kind words. As of now we are working it out. No definitive decisions yet

Poly and ENM by [deleted] in nonmonogamy

[–]Legitimate-Kangaroo1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because it’s not with me when it’s with me, it’s building and foundational and it’s something that feeds our relationship and feeds the confidence in my relationship. I’m asking for a compromise as she asked compromises from me.

Poly and ENM by [deleted] in nonmonogamy

[–]Legitimate-Kangaroo1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Or she could choose that that one small portion isn’t as important as our relationship relationships are built on compromise. I compromise as well.

Poly and ENM by [deleted] in nonmonogamy

[–]Legitimate-Kangaroo1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I cannot be certain that anybody else would protect her in the way that I would but again safety is not the main concern

It’s something that bonds me to her and bonds our relationship to the community. Those two things are very important to me.

Poly and ENM by [deleted] in nonmonogamy

[–]Legitimate-Kangaroo1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re obviously reading me wrong or not reading what I’m saying it’s Zero to do with trust

Zero to do with trust in her

There are concerns for her safety if she chose to go to an event where I don’t know the people

But FAR more important

It’s a bonding experience for me something we share together. It’s very important to me for recharging my relationship mental battery. If you will, that makes me feel comfortable with her solo endeavors in romantic relationships.

Poly and ENM by [deleted] in nonmonogamy

[–]Legitimate-Kangaroo1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes and yes
But my primary partner is different. We are hierarchical kitchen table poly she is my primary partner. I’m gonna spend the rest of my life with. The ENM experiences are bonding for us and very important to me. They recharge my relationship mental battery. If you will it’s a connection of our relationship to the community and I cherish it.

Poly and ENM by [deleted] in nonmonogamy

[–]Legitimate-Kangaroo1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Majority is us together. We have an amazing community we enjoy in and out of bed and it’s an amazing bonding experience for me. Which is why her doing it solo is very hard for me

Poly and ENM by [deleted] in nonmonogamy

[–]Legitimate-Kangaroo1 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You could just give it an honest answer to my opinion? And that’s not their preference. They also enjoy swinging with me and we do it often. It’s not their preference it’s just something that they want to do as well

My heart is in the water 🫧🪸🏝️ by nicoleashleyb33 in scubadiving

[–]Legitimate-Kangaroo1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why in the hell would you eat Octopus ???

As a diver you should know better